Archive for June, 2012

Warning: Sinkhole of Joy

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 29, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Hi. Geez, I accidentally sucked the joy out of WoW. It will come back, but damn, I didn’t even know I was doing it. It snuck up on me. It was all the fault of that Vial of the Sands. So yeah, just a warning.

I really don’t think it was the gathering. I listened to Kamalia’s Twisted Nether interview and Cynwise at the Darkmoon Herald so that was kind of fun. On reflection I think where things started to go down hill was up there. I saw someone in trade looking for someone to make a Vial of the Sands. I thought, “Oh yay, I can do that! I just learned it! Yay! Sure, I’ll make it for you!” And I did.

Envy. I know, it’s terrible. I hate to admit it but I think the joy started leaking out a little right here. I mean I was happy for Treena but just that little bit of envy started to creep in. I know, I’m ashamed. All I could think was, “How many freaking more truegold transmutes before I get mine?”

Transmutes. That’s what did it. Every morning I would excitedly login to my alchemist, a transmutation master, hoping for a double … or … or a quadruple even! Nothing. I got one double early on and then nothing. It was soul-crushing. Really. If she hadn’t been a transmutation master I don’t think it would have been that bad. The anticipation … then nothing.

I stopped queuing for Ahune and that stupid Ice Chip. I stopped logging in. I sat morosely around with the dogs. Cooldowns on my server cost about as much as a bar of truegold, my guild was already helping as much as they could, seeing that they’re all me. I finally left Azeroth to return to D3 and found having the living beejeezus scared out of me was preferable.

I even finally managed to kill Belial once I stopped trying to take screen shots of him during the fight. It’s hard to run away from the green stuff when you’re trying to get a good shot, so I quit doing it … so there’s a shot of the aftermath of battle, sorry he’s not in it.

Yesterday I just snapped and bought the last three truegold bars even though I had the mats to make them, but the damage was done. Joy had been sucked down the sinkhole of transmutation master anticipation. I know the joy will return, it always does, but I should have just bought the freaking truegold to begin with, sheesh.

And oh, one last thing, while I was feeling sorry for myself and scouring the internet for things I found this artist. Is it just me, or do you think he lives in Azeroth too? Or at least he’s been there. I might have to ask.

Stupid Ice Chips and Ersatz Poultry

Posted in WoW Holiday Events with tags , , , , on June 26, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Yeah, I’m beginning to think that whole Ice Chip thing may not be worth it. Stupid pet. Maybe I don’t even want it anymore. Okay, that’s a lie, I do want it but this is ridiculous. Maybe it’s the time of day I’m queuing, is there a good time of day?

The first couple of times no problem, which there really shouldn’t be but the last two times, OMG. My queues are usually around 25 minutes and I should have realized something was up when after only about fifteen minutes I was in. I guess someone lost patience with the group. They were all dead, well one was still alive with about 5hp left. I thought, okay, since I haven’t engaged I’ll just Shadowmeld back here til they’re dead too, and then I can Revive them.

Apparently that’s not an option because the freaking water elementals have some type of psychic abilities that allow them to sense things a mile away and stealthed, so alright, kill me already so we can get this show on the road. Okay we’re all dead now, happy?

When everyone was back I asked,”Does everyone know how this goes?” No answers. Okay, then they know it I guess. I GUESS NOT. No one seemed to grasp the concept of the frozen core being there at all. To them it was apparently just a fight to the death with water elementals or they were waiting for a giant boss looking thing to appear and walk ominously towards them. Phase two came and I’m the only one on the core, everyone else is kinda of milling around waiting for more elementals to fight.

I don’t know why this struck me so funny, hysteria probably, so I’m laughing and shredding and occasionally flying around in the air and wondering how many times this had happened before the other person dropped the group. Obviously I didn’t get Ahune down on the first go by myself and I started wondering how long I’d be stuck in this endless cycle of doom. For a chance at an Ice Chip. When he emerged again I attacked him with a single minded fury of someone possessed. I didn’t know if anyone was still alive and didn’t care, enough, enough, stop the madness!

I don’t know how many hours later, it was finally over. I bid adieu to my silent compadres. Still no Ice Chip. So I went back to Stormwind and Druid and I consoled ourselves by seeing how close to a humanoid Moonkin we could make her look. Not very it turns out. So I’m thinking of going to the Blizzard store and just buying a pet. Seems a more sensible course of action. Hey Ice Chip, look at him, he’s WAY cuter than you.

Yeah, I might try just one more time. Just one. Stupid little Ice Chip.

Only the Lonely by Cenarion Embassador Thunk

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 25, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Thankfully my husband doesn’t read this blog, this is the kind of thing that makes him worry about my grip on reality sometimes, so what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him but I know you’ll understand. He thinks I over-empathize with fictional characters but that’s ridiculous. I was doing some heavy traveling this weekend because of the Fire Festival, there are some beautiful shots by fellow traveler Erinys at The Harpy’s Nest too, but what struck me was that I’m worried about the isolation some of these NPCs have to deal with.

Sylvanaar looks lovely but I remember even in BC that place was dead. I made a stop and even bought some worthless food and drink, just because you could tell they were so happy for company. I felt really bad, can’t Blizzard rotate these guys out to duty in Darnassus or someplace once in a while?

Cosmowrench, not quite as bad as it used to be. At least the flight master has a little company now but still, how much business do you think this barber shop does? I’m pretty sure those hair products haven’t changed since the last time I visited and I feel bad for the proprietor. I mean look at the lovely array of wigs they have and um, horns. And I’m sure you’d get a better deal than in those snooty shops in Orgrimmar and Stormwind and yet no one visits. Druid changed her hair and then changed it back again just to keep the barber in practice.

Here we are at the back end of beyond, Blasted Lands at the Tainted Scar. Don’t you think most people are wholeheartedly tired of Blasted Lands and never even get back here before they leave? I mean I know they’re demons and all but still, here they are waiting with their piles of skulls for something to happen, ANYTHING at all. I felt bad so I killed a bunch to relief the monotony for them.

And Desolace, need I say more, I know lots of people never even step foot in it. Druid stealthed into Thunder Axe Fortress to see if they at least took a break when no one’s around, and no, they totally don’t. He’s not resting when you’re not around and holding that pose for eternity must be a bitch hard. I KNOW these are bad guys but come on, a little sympathy here.

And what in the world has Cenarion Embassador Thunk done wrong to pull this duty is what I want to know. He seems a likeable guy and I can’t imagine what kind of Cenarion faux pas he could have made to get stuck in Desolace, had to be something serious. We chatted a while but I didn’t have the heart to ask.

And this last one just breaks my heart. After you complete the quest to save these guys in Uldum they don’t disappear but you lose the ability to save them after the quest. So there you are grinding for volatiles and you have to keep stepping over their out-stretched arms like they didn’t exist. Blizzard, you did a bloody GREAT DEAL of phasing in Uldum and you just left these cat men here. I don’t know, I think that stinks, I think you should rectify this immediately. I can’t be the only one who’s being caused pain by this. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, don’t go there if it bothers you. I’m grinding mats for my Vial of the Sands so it’s not like I have a choice, geez.

I’m too choked up to write anymore so take it away Embassador Thunk, Only the Lonely.

Vial of the Sands! Hooray! Wait … What?

Posted in WoW Mounts with tags , , , on June 22, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

I wanted the Vial of the Sands from the first time I read about it, pre-Cataclysm. Obviously my reading comprehension leaves much to be desired as once Cata launched my Druid (leatherworker/skinner) started furiously leveling Archeology in pursuit of Canopic Jars. I think she was 525 before I read that you had to be a Alchemist to see the recipe.

It was going to be up to my Hunter, who doesn’t care about mounts, to level Archeology and get the recipe. There was a lot of muttering on her part about high maintenance Druids who were spoiled. She was level capped for a long, long, time before her first Canopic Jar. Second jar was the one and she immediately learned the recipe and said, “There, I’m outta here, no more Archeology EVER!”

It shows a certain lack of confidence on my part that I never really paid much attention to the mats required to actually make the mount. If I had, maybe I would have prepared, or not, hard to tell but I cringed when I said, “Um, Hunter? Fine on the archeology but you need a few more things to make the recipe.” WHAT?

- 29,000g To pay Yasmin the extortionist because she has the market covered on the mats we need from her
– 36 Pyrium Bar (Or 144 Elementium Bars + 144 Volatile Earth)
– 120 of each Volatile Fire, Volatile Air, and Volatile Water
– 96 Volatile Life
– 96 Azshara’s Veil
– 96 Cinderbloom
– 192 Whiptail
– 8 Albino Cavefish

“WAIT! WHAT? After enduring Archeology which I didn’t want to do you seriously want me to do WHAT!” Okay, there’s no need to go into what else she said, it’s enough to say she was displeased.

Everything but the 12 bars of Truegold went a lot faster than I would have thought but I sure hope her Transmutation Mastery kicks in on that, because after paying 29k gold for those mats I refuse to buy anything else no matter how much Druid jumps up and down and pleads.

My Hunter’s taking it all pretty well, but there’s a reason. She was in Hyjal looking for Azshara’s Veil when NPCSan went off. Magria! And she was prepared with a naked set because she’d read WoW Rare Spawn’s advice on every hunter pet she was interested in. That’s why she’s standing there in only a tabard, it’s not like her, she’s much more reserved than Druid.

So that helped A LOT with taking the sting out of mat gathering but I know she’ll be happy when Druid gets her mount and she can go back to her semi-feral lifestyle of living off the land and looking for new pets.

So be careful what you wish for because you might actually get it … and YOU ARE NOT PREPARED … like, um me.

Collaboration and the Marshmallow Man

Posted in WoW Blogging with tags , , , on June 20, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

I received an email that I forwarded to my bank alt. She was a fail Mage but she’s a shrewd businesswoman unlike me, so I let her handle these matters. I was horrified though, when I first read the email I discounted it immediately because of the ciao. Apparently, and unbeknownst to me,  I have cultivated a prejudice about people who use the word ciao.  I didn’t even know it, I mean NO ONE I cross paths with on a daily basis says that but here I am being all snarky about it. I hate being so judgmental but there it is.

Okay, so I’m also nosy so I visited his media agency group website. Imagine my horror on seeing it’s based out of Malta, he’s ALLOWED to say ciao. My bad, making snap judgements like that, thank goodness my Mage is in charge. Being nosy I really am curious to know what type of collaboration that client has in mind. Especially considering my frequent and flagrant misuse of words like nude and Raquel Welch.

I’d really like to know, but my Mage said it clearly states that I’m to ping him back ONLY IF I’m open to collaboration NOT just because I’m curious about the proposition and have no intention of collaborating. Sigh … I guess she’s right, I guess I can’t go around pinging people for a proposition if I have no intention of following through, I’m just being nosy.

WordPress is really starting to piss me off. It just threw away half my post again and my marshmallow man picture. Now I’m going to have to neurotically save after every three words. What I HAD ALREADY TYPED, was that I’ve accidentally without noticing become a giant marshmallow. I kept thinking, “Why in the world do I feel so heavy and uncomfortable.” Really. I did. The fact that my jeans zipper unzipped every time I bent over to pick something up wasn’t even registering. I thought the zipper was faulty.

Yes, yes, I’m not very logical, me and the dogs wander through life “sensing” things, no logic involved. But you’d think I could have “sensed” that I’d eaten my way into becoming a giant marshmallow. Finally something seemed off so I weighted myself this morning and OMG.

Apparently walking a couple miles every morning and then exercising only my fingers the rest of the day and oh yes, running up and down the stairs a few times to get something to, er, eat isn’t enough. AND APPARENTLY all the exercise that I get running around killing all the things in game doesn’t even count. Not even a little.

So anyway, just a heads up. If I sound really grumpy I am, and I wanted you to know why, it’s not you, it’s me. The Giant Marshmallow Man of WoW. I mean there aren’t any calories in Chocolate Gelato are there? I was eating it specifically because there weren’t any calories cause it’s Gelato, it was my diet food. Who knew.

Killing Time When There’s No One to Kill Outfit

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 19, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Yesterday I could actually have killed something but instead I was killing time making this outfit. There was a post at That Was an Accident a few days ago that reminded me that my Warlock, Cimmeria, still had The Robe of Doan in her bank and I should try once again to do something with it and make it look different than all the other Robes of Doan I see.

I’m now frustrated as I can’t login and see what the heck she’s wearing. Anyway I lost focus about half way through and for whatever reason was thinking about Duskwood and the “Doan Know What to do with it” turned into the “Walking Alone Late at Night in Duskwood” outfit. When I can login I plan on finding her a proper weapon and off-hand and hope I’ve made an outfit that I could conceivably get. Usually everything I make in MogIt involves gladiatory stuff so it’s not very practical.

So today I’m killing time because I can’t login and kill something. I mean I have plenty to do but don’t want to do it right now, so I’ve been using the resources of Cafe Press to entertain myself by making phony T-shirts to scare Navimie which is really mean because she posts cool, cute, stuff like Souglyy’s new Chibi by Sleepingfox.

Yes, it’s maintenance. What to do next. I can’t transmog. I’ve made a scary fake T-shirt. I’ve pestered you. I don’t know. I got nothing. Work? Oh all right, I’ll leave you alone and go do some work. Sheesh, I hate Tuesdays.

I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 18, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Last night was Sunwell Plateau with Amateur Azerothian’s Laid Back Raids. Not only was it beautiful, but satisfying. I can’t even begin to count the times I flew over this big, fat, stupidhead on the long grind to get the Shattered Sun Offensive to love me. All I could do was hurl insults down at Brutallus then. Finally, some closure. Might go back today and take a flyover just to rub it in.

Also Shoryl of Tiny WoW Guild has Laid Back Dungeons for those looking for a specific dungeon. Some people in JD’s raids are looking for transmog gear, some are sightseeing, I’m a sightseer for the most part.

I should have known better, because Cat really can’t handle her liquor. But I wanted some wine. This has no effect on the Warlocks, but Druid soon lost the ability to read chat and stumbled around taking screen shots. She did notice she’d acquired a lovely green glow so I guess she decided to show it off, infecting everyone with some type of horrible communicable disease. Her brave companions were probably cursing her in chat but thankfully she couldn’t read it. She was totally oblivious from ONE WINE COOLER.

Anyway, that’s okay, so she can’t hold her wine coolers, big whoop. The other problem is more serious. Druid is definitely my main, she is my favorite, all of them know it. But I hate melee. I had this epiphany some time ago, but it reared it’s head again last night or I should say reared it’s stupid butt. Or didn’t. WHATEVER!

The problem is butts. See this picture? There’s a visual cue there, a tail. If every boss were a manageable size with a tail maybe she’d have no problem. She’s supposed to be biting them in the butt but she can rarely tell where it is. They’re generally 20 feet tall and if they have a butt it’s way up there somewhere above her head, she can’t see it. Sometimes she has to resort to trying to see if the boss is wearing pointy-toed shoes for a clue.

I mean look at this picture of Kel’Thuzad. First he’s wearing a dress and then he doesn’t even have any feet for pity’s sake. WTF! NERDRAGE! NERDRAGE! NERDRAGE! OH AND WAIT! Here’s another, they give dragons tails, yay! She knows where their butt is now. But wait! Stop, Cat, Stop! Don’t go toward the butt, don’t go toward the butt! Tail Swipe! Oh, too late. Don’t you think that’s just the least bit sadistic?

What is she supposed to do. No butt, no feet, I mean come on. And usually she’s so engrossed in trying to find a butt that noticing crap on the floor is a pipe dream.

She usually starts out with good intentions. But after shredding away and noticing she has no combo points building up and realizing she’s been doing squat all because whatever she’s been shredding IS NOT HIS BUTT she usually gives up and starts spamming WHATEVER THE HELL WILL HIT HIM.

Blizzard, really, couldn’t we take the “Must be behind the target” off of shred? Why do you torment her this way? She’s a lovely girl, okay she chases human males but I don’t see that as being a serious enough character flaw to justify torturing her like this. Take the FREAKING BEHIND THE TARGET CRAP off of shred … um … please?

She will always be my main and she knows it but, do you see why she drinks? Do you see? Melee sucks. Warlocks rule. I need another wine. Hold the cooler part.

Pssst! Hot Tips for Tome and Matty’s Excellent Adventure

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on June 17, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

I just got the okay to distribute some extra hints for the Outland locations. Below are the rules and then both sets of hints with the zone included. Hopefully I’ve matched up the hints properly but it’s always possible I’ve forgotten where I went which should just add another level of confusement excitement!

Round I: Way-Out in Outlands…

The Rules:

1. All clues for Outland locations are below. Deadline has been extended to June 24.There will be fabulous prizes! Yes, yes a pony!

2. Try to find the secret locations: this round will have eight, and in Outlands. You will need an add-on that shows the coordinates, and screenshots should include this information. When you submit your screenshot, also please add the details of your find, the coordinates, and anything interesting that happened along the way.

3. You must, absolutely, must go on a land mount only. If you cheat, we have no way of knowing. But you will know, and the RNGs will know, and bring shame upon your family. Just sayin’.

4. This is important: Do not, please, do not submit anything to Matty or my blogs. Only submit your screenshot and verification of the spot to our contest email:

First Clue:

In the forest of Terokkar
Staring eyes haunt you
Chilling and cold
and though you may have traveled from afar
be brave when crossing
this terrifying threshold

Addendum:
…these are no ordinary lepidoteras
their pixie dust is fatal
but for Outland quests, this is a beginning
where the journey is in its cradle

Terokkar Forest

The doorway to a tower where a vicious beast flutters above

Second Clue:

Rock of Ages isn’t just a movie
This is where you go when things are not groovy
Seek out this place, and you will get tired
Sit and stay awhile, what’s your hurry?

Nagrand

To a great rock surrounded by spirits the entrance is here

Third Clue:

If you eat these shrooms you will see double
And watch your step, there is bound to be trouble
Just there, in that knoll…
Watch out, there may be a troll

Zangarmarsh

In the land of shrooms we’ll meet in the middle of a bridge between spires

Fourth Clue:

The inhabitants here seem nonchalant
and even, perhaps, a bit gallant
But in their pool you try to fish
You will quickly soon wish
That you were somewhere else
Perhaps Vermont?

Terokkar Forest

A small dock on a small pool of water in a village of shadowy enemies

Fifth Clue:

There are trinkets and talisman
Sold from this gent
He will offer you protection
Drop our names and tell him
it was us who you we sent
(but don’t expect a discount, he hasn’t that level of dedication)

Terokkar Forest

The man to visit if you’re in need of protection of almost any kind

Sixth Clue:

You can stand before this fearsome mother
If you get over your phobias and fears
There are many who can’t be tamed
but if you treat her gently, hunters,
This one can be claimed

Blade’s Edge

After a journey beneath that will test your arachnophobia stand before this fearsome mother

Seventh Clue:

The children of Azeroth need care
See if you can help this one
Lost in the ravages of war

Blade’s Edge

Speak with the Innkeeper where a young girl asks after her parent

Eighth and Final Clue:

There is a long tunnel
Similar to life
It twists, turns and pours us through a funnel
Full of joy and strife
What will you bring with you?
And what will you leave behind?

Nagrand

Stand in the center of an earthen ring where the elements walk the earth

Sky Monitors are standing by!!! Hopefully she’ll remember that bird can’t fly, pssst, Cat don’t … oh … maybe she’ll remember she’s a Druid before she hits bottom and will use flight form. Or not.

Srsly I’m Going to Stop After This and Start Your Engines!

Posted in Silly with tags , , on June 17, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

Seriously … this is my last mostly not WoW post … for now. Matty commented on the double eyebrow post which just led to me thinking about my mother working on my last nerve. Now I know that’s the job of mothers. I’ve been told I’m really, really good at it too. But in my case I’m kind of a teaser, I’ll tease you to death. It’s so easy though because my daughter still takes me seriously, when my husband knows most of what I say isn’t serious but anyway … my mother.

What? Yes, it’s really my mom, what can I say, she works out. Anyway, yesterday she told me that they showed a movie at her senior community and it’s wasn’t at all acceptable for women. It was a man’s movie, not a woman’s movie. OH GAWD! Here she goes. Why, I enquired? Yeah, I was asking for it, I know.

Because it was full of violence and killing! That’s not a women’s movie! Okay, and the movie in question was PG13, Sahara. And then she went on about how shocking and violent it was, this drives me nuts, I can’t help it. She said, “Women don’t like that, no women wants to see that!”

My mother the spokesperson for um … womenhood.

I couldn’t stand it. “YES THEY DO MOM, SOME WOMEN WATCH VIOLENCE AND KILLING, SOME WOMEN ACTUALLY KILL AND MAIM ON A DAILY BASIS!” Yeah, it’s in Azeroth but still.

What women would do that?

I said, “ME, I DO THAT!” “ME!”

Deep breath. I’ll try to calm down now. She gets me going every time she starts with the “what women are like” and the “what men are like” crap. I fall for it every time. Damn. Oh, and if you want to know what she thinks of men, THEY ARE GODS, along with doctors, but only men doctors. ARGH! She got me again!

Since it’s Father’s Day I’m not going to comment on what I think about the whole MEN ARE GODS thing, I’m going to let that one go … for today … as a present … just this once. So yeah … Happy Father’s Day.

Since this is all Matty’s fault that I’m still going on and on about real life, we should get her back. Go over there and inundate her with entries in the Road Rally. Get out there on your land mount and tour Outland. And there’s a cool prize and I don’t know maybe cookies. She’s given all the clues! You can get them all at once, quick, get thee to a mount AND RIDE!

Non WoW, I’ve Seen my Future …

Posted in Not WoW with tags , , on June 16, 2012 by Tome oftheAncient

And it’s the freaking fourth circle of hell! I’m not kidding, it’s no joke. Yes, I’ll get back to WoW shortly but this just totally freaked me out. You gentlemen can move along, nothing to interest you here. And I know all the ladies who come here are young, svelte, and beautiful beyond compare. But the future … OMG! The Double Eyebrow Club awaits! They’re waiting!

I guess I need to give a little background for this to make any kind of sense. Years ago when I was like … you know … young, I noticed with alarming frequency woman of a certain age with double eyebrows. Something like the recreation above. They’d start out normal and then about halfway through there’d be a course deviation and that sucker would take wing and you’d be left with a penciled on second half of an eyebrow.

What did this mean? Some kind of fashion statement? Some fad or a cult of badass grannies? Did they really think it looked good? I was stymied, but being young I didn’t give much thought to what the older crowd was doing and I just let the whole thing go, but I always thought of them as The Double Eyebrow Club, probably had a secret handshake and everything.

Time passed. And passed. Enter, Presbyopia. Presbyopia is an eye condition affecting everyone past the age of 40-43. The “my arms are no longer long enough to read” disease. The “I have fifteen pair of cheap grocery store magnifying glasses scattered around the house” disease. In my case to combat it I have bifocal contacts, one eye sees close up and one drives the car and my brain somehow tricks my eyes into thinking their both seeing stuff.

I’ve been told however, that I won’t get away with this forever. As Presbyopia advances there’ll come a point that my brain will scream STOP THE MADNESS and will refuse to focus and then I’ll have to buy fifteen pair of cheap glasses too.

Okay, here’s the scary part. I saw a good friend of mine recently. She keeps in shape, I mean the crazy woman runs marathons, always looks good and has impeccable taste. SHE HAD A FREAKING DOUBLE EYEBROW, OMG, WHAT DO I SAY, OR SHOULD I JUST KEEP QUIET, OMG WHAT DO I DO!

I tried not to stare. She’d never have done this on purpose. She’d been initiated into the Double Eyebrow Club. She obviously was kinda a noob as she only had one double eyebrow and I think you’re supposed to do both … as far as I know. I tried to stay calm. She’s older than me, I think three years older but, granted I was panicking, so I could be wrong. Was she here FOR ME? Did they send her? Crap! THE EVIL COVEN OF DOUBLE EYEBROWED GRANNIES!

I managed to make it through the rest of the visit by sitting on her good eyebrow side. After she left, I ran upstairs to check my eyebrows, whew, all good. Everything’s where it’s supposed to be. After I calmed down I finally realized that this probably wasn’t an evil club, it was Presbyopia. They can’t see what they’re doing, but they still do it.

I recently complimented my daughter on her outfit. She replied, “Are you sure it looks alright, I feel like I’m mutton dressed as lamb.” OMG! How can she even think that. And anyone out there? Don’t ever start thinking that. YOU ARE NOT MUTTON UNTIL YOU’VE DRAWN YOUR FIRST DOUBLE EYEBROW!

Me? I’m going shopping to find the best, most expensive bathroom magnifying glass I can find. One made by Nasa and tested in space … made of titanium … with lenses ground by the people who make them for places like the Palomar Observatory.

I hope it will work, a lot’s riding on this. I’m going to do everything humanly possible to avoid my first … baaa baaa … double eyebrow.

Wild Night, the original … just feels right.

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