Ask The Ancient — None of Your Business

Well I’ve got a predicament here, it’s Tuesday and I have nothing to do. I usually have work or plan stuff to do on Tuesdays so I won’t notice server maintenance … but yeah … I screwed up today. Yes, yes, I could clean but I’m not THAT desperate so I thought I’d look through search terms that brought people here. See if I could be of any help, probably not and I wouldn’t take any advice I give that seriously but let’s give it a shot.

Oh wow, seriously people? These are all legitimate questions mostly, where’s the fun stuff? I was depending on you! Oh, alright I’ll answer your questions.

can u solo chess event

Yes, you absolutely can. If I did it anyone can do it. I’m guessing it took about 4 or 5 tries but it’s been a while. Is there a method? I’m sure there may be but I never pay attention to stuff like that so be assured, you CAN stumble in there and muck about for a while and ultimately you will succeed.

wow you are in the wrong zone

I know. You’re in the wrong zone, you can’t use that here, yada, yada, yada. I have no idea. I’m just going to blame it all on Cross Realm Servers. They are responsible for so much pain in my life that I’m sure they’re causing this too. It’s damn lucky CRZ lets me group with friends on other servers or I’d be leading a pack of pitchfork-waving, torch-carrying, maniacs to burn the stupid things down.

mists of pandaria crucible of carnage equivalent

I would say the scenario Arena of Annihilation is the Pandarian equivalent. You should do it, it’s fun and if it’s early days in your Pandarian adventure there’s a quest in there with a iLevel 450 weapon reward that might be helpful. Go there. Do that.

whats the best pet to use against a flying pet wow

Magic pets or Dragonkin. While my magic pet packs a huge punch, he’s also kind of squishy so I only use him on teams with a healer, otherwise I use a Dragon against flying pets. They are kind of my go-to guy when I want a pet that will act as my utility player. Hope that helps, but again, I wouldn’t trust my advice. If your Dragon gets pounded to dust don’t blame me, this is just what I do.

wow wild crop doesn’t work

Well it does, but only after it’s annoyed you into the seventh realm of hell. Mash the 1 button repeatedly, and mash the 2 button to interrupt the stun or whatever the stupid thing does. Keep this up until the buff thingy reaches a stack of 50 and it’s over … until the next one and the next one and the next … don’t despair, I hear that in Patch 5.2 they will occur less frequently so hang in there, help is on the way!

what i don’t do is not in your business

Woo hoo! We’re mighty touchy here aren’t we. Had a bad week? I can relate. And seriously I don’t care about whatever it is that you didn’t do, since I don’t even know you so we’re good. But, it’s the wild crop isn’t it? No … no … I don’t CARE, I’m just asking. Your farm is an uncared for tangle of wild crops and virmen? Is that what you didn’t do? OKAY! OKAY! I’m sorry, just asking, geez.

Welp, that’s it. Yeah … I know. Everyone’s all serious business, no funny stuff. Aside from various requests for various Raquel Welch body parts that’s all I got. But on the bright side I think I used up almost an hour. Only six more hours left ……………… okay, maybe I’ll clean just a little.

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18 Responses to “Ask The Ancient — None of Your Business”

  1. I was hoping against hope that this morning Blizz would “forget” about server maintenance, but alas…. I see once again you’ve provided the seekers, searchers, and neophytes great advice. For all the lofty theorycrafting out there, mash the button and Raquel Welch parts is truly all it comes down to.

  2. Come on…admit it :) You’re not going to clean. You’re probably going to stealth around the internets searching for what rare battle pet you can hunt down to compliment your teams.
    ROFL!!!

  3. lol awesome post!

    Had me sptting my mt dew on my KB

  4. “I usually have work or plan stuff to do on Tuesdays so I won’t notice server maintenance…”
    Aye, me, too. Like, last Tuesday morning I baked cookies, and this Tuesday morning I hemmed some trousers that I bought months and months ago and started sewing a dress for one of my nieces. But sometimes I have to resort to cleaning :P

    • LOL! I try my hardest to find important work other than cleaning! Today, I decided to try to fix the bird feeder that the squirrels have broken. I KNOW feeding birds is more important than a clean house, I’m sure of it!

  5. The chess event actually seems to have got a lot harder since the last patch or two. We never had an issue with it before but the other week, he seemed to be cheating every five seconds or so.

    Also is it wrong that I’d rather sit and stare at the server down message on the monitor than clean the house?

    • Then it’s a good thing I did it a while back, I think in Cata.

      Of course not! Staring at the server down message is absolutely the correct response to maintenance. I mean what if you were cleaning and they came up early, you wouldn’t know!

  6. Tome, I never get tired of reading your blog.

    I love the frivolity, the creativity, the novel ideas. I love how your toons always have these epic days discovering stuff. Like that time you went around Stormwind looking for art.

    I just adore your twist on the game, and I think everyone should read your blog–they’d get a whole new perspective on things they never even considered, and may actually learn to enjoy the game on a whole new level.

    Plus, the way you write has me actually reading everything, and not reading diagonally, because I know I’ll miss something awesome if I do.

  7. Yes you can solo chess! Sigh my post that got eaten had a lovely link. I will try and get it up today but it doesn’t seem as good as my original.

    • Oh how self centred of me! I am always impressed by the cool search terms you get. Slut seems to feature in a lot of my terms.. but glad you got your cleaning done. Laundry next?

      • I seem to have cornered the market on old Raquel and naked vrykul. Um … I didn’t ever get around to cleaning but I did do the laundry!

        I’m looking forward to reading the eaten post!

  8. At least you did something creative on server maintenance day. Me? I always seem to get sucked into the official WoW forums…sigh. And once I’m there I can’t leave…it’s kind of like /trade chat…for whatever reason I can’t seem to turn it off.

    Great post by the way. Love reading your stuff!

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