A Tribute to the Poop Quest
ALRIGHT! Geez Cat, stop it! You know I hate aquatic form. I think we pretty well established the other day that my problem is I find my posts have become boring. I read some of my old posts and they weren’t that bad. What the hell happened? Okay, I’ll try harder … let me think a minute.
OH! I know! I got a poop quest on my dog walk this morning. Yeah, talk about virtual life spilling over into real life. Kinda creepy, but it happened.
As my dog has aged he’s become afflicted with immediate poop attacks, he has to go RIGHT NOW and he drags me to what he perceives is the ONLY acceptable location. I’ve never figured out what this is based on, probably smell.
This morning he drags me … yes, 90 pounds of dog is stronger than mumble mumble pounds of me. But he drags me up on to a lawn … a manicured lawn … on to a slight rise. Kinda where, if these people were the pink flamingo type, they’d place it. Making this worse is that they’ve just added an invisible dog fence and we are now encroaching their territory. Well, we more than encroached … we invaded.
The quest begins. Get that poop picked up before they see me. I whip out the poop bag! I’m in position!
It’s a re-creation. Not my dog, not my scrawny-assed butt, this one’s much nicer … just cause I like you. Anyway, I hardly EVER see these people. Once in a while on the weekend but that’s about it. This will be cake. HURRY UP! I hear a car approaching. Won’t be them though, I’ve NEVER seen them out this early, they’re retired. They don’t go driving around at ridiculous hours. They don’t have to.
I’m about to nail this quest when I hear the car slow for the turn. I’m still in position finishing up the pickup when they roll up their driveway. Seeing me or rather my butt. Quest failed.
What I found the worst was WHAT WERE THE ODDS! Twenty four hours in a day and RLRNG picks this moment to have them drive up to see my butt in a lawn ornament-worthy spot on their lawn! I thought in-game RNG sucked but apparently RLRNG is EVEN WORSE.
Oh … just so you won’t miss any, cause you know you don’t want to, here’s a list of epic WoW poop quests that I can remember. I don’t doubt there are more out there.
WoW Poop Quests
Addition courtesy of Euphyley of WoW Rare Spawn Guide