She Shoots … She Scores!

nishiThis whole not logging in until my right shoulder/elbow/arm recovers is getting depressing so I thought pet battling should be okay, right? I was about 12 fights away from getting Vengeful Pet Brawler, I should do What We’ve Been Training For.

What? Oh, no … Farmer Nishi has nothing to do with this post. I just took her picture as a reminder of what delusional thinking looks like. Every time I visit her with another baby to level she says, “You think you stand a chance?” Come on Nishi, everyone knows you’re an easy mark … yeah, like me. I suck at PvP pet battling. I’ve grown to hate it. I mean I read about teams, try them out with the same result. Utter failure, again and again and … yeah.

Oh … totally unrelated. This whole expansion I thought Pandaren were saying, “The world is your oyster.” I fly off so fast I never heard the last word. Now playing one-handed I’m slower and I found out they’re saying, “The world is your TEACHER.” OH! Okay, makes more sense I guess.

So anyway I had a plan. Decided to go look around for advice. I found a post about a team Ratshag was using. Sounds good. I’ll give this a try. The last time I took the weekly it reset before I could even get to ten wins. Yuck. Here goes.

First battle. They take one look at me and forfeit. Whew … how lucky is that. One down. Don’t know what that was about.

Second battle. They see me. They forfeit. What the hell? Do they think I’m Ratshag? Never mind, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

gifthorseThird, forfeit. Fourth, forfeit. Fifth, forfeit.  Yeah … I even got the achievement No time to heal. And at this point I’m laughing hysterically, about to fall out of my chair.

It’s ME! Guys, it’s me! The failiest pet battler there is! They are running in fear from the worst PvP pet battler EVER. ROTFLMAO! I have about an 8% win rate. WHY DO YOU RUN FROM ME?

Ratshag didn’t mention that the team would strike such terror in the hearts of pet battlers that I wouldn’t even have to fight. Wow, this is great.

Sixth fight, forfeit.

Seventh fight … oh, want a piece of me do you? BRING IT ON! Okay, at this point I was probably drunk with a false sense of power from all the forfeits and I accidentally won.

Eighth fight, forfeit.

Ninth fight … YOU FOOL … RUN IN TERROR … I AM THE GREATEST PET BATTL … I lost.

Tenth fight they run.

Yay! Since I only actually fought twice my win rate was 50%, a big improvement over 8%. I am just two battles away from winning 50 battles for the achievement. Why stop now!

Forfeit … forfeit. Done! Fifty fights completed!

I couldn’t believe my luck. That is some kick ass team alright. Hard to say how it would have gone down if I had actually had to fight. I will have to give it another try but now, it’s my team of choice.

I probably shouldn’t be spreading the word cause now maybe I’ll meet that team and we won’t know who should forfeit. Worry about that I guess when the time comes.

Anyway, always remember the sage advice of the Pandaren. The world is your oyster teacher and so apparently is Ratshag.

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14 Responses to “She Shoots … She Scores!”

  1. They must really have thought you were Ratters!

  2. This inspires me to maaaaaybe finish leveling my one team to 25. I could get lucky like you!

  3. Damn, Tome! Were you packing three kindergartners with the measles holding cans of Mountain Dew and spray paint? Yikes! I gotta find out what this team is comprised of…

  4. LOL I’m with Matty! ;) Grats on all the achievements–pretty good for someone who wasn’t supposed to log on at all. ;)

    • Thank you Anou! I’m trying to figure out if archeology would work too one-handed. I could do it with my Hunter and if anything attacked her pet could kill it maybe. Got to be creative, lol.

  5. I’ve been running with an all-elemental team because of this and all of the stupid Sandstorm shenanigans … it hasn’t really helped, I still lose. I suppose I will have to bite the bullet and jump on the bandwagon. :\

    • I hate that Sandstorm crap. I think I was pretty lucky as I seemed to be getting the same three people over and over so they kept forfeiting. I’m not sure why Direhorn teams were afraid of me but I’ll take it!

  6. It’s not even like you named your Crow something scary!

    And why should anyone fear a Warbot named Dewbedo? Wait, that might actually make sense.

  7. Gratz on the achieves and the fear your team instills in all who come across them!

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