So yeah … there are those times that real life seems awfully similiar to what happens in Azeroth. There is an objective you want to attain and sometimes … maybe because you choose an unorthodox method to accomplish it … it takes some planning. The last time I tried completing an IRL quest I failed miserably.
Over on this side I have fubared my right arm from shoulder to wrist. I kept blaming it on the amount of time I spend on my computer. I don’t know why I was so blind. I guess if you do something EVERY DAY for ten years with no ill effects you don’t think that’s the problem … well it was.
For ten years I have had ninety pounds of enraged dog with six feet of momentum launching himself at any perceived danger. His attack (not really an attack, he’s just trying to scare the scary thing) comes to an abrupt end … at the end of my right arm. I did not catch on until I started using my left arm and began having the same symptoms.
EUREKA! Perhaps arms are not designed to be the equivalent of the device that stops jets when landing on aircraft carriers. Who knew!
I have sympathy for him, I mean people carrying umbrellas is some scary shit. ANYONE approaching from behind … I know! Who likes that. So anyway, my husband said, I must stop walking him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA … in fairness to him I think he thought he should say it … you know, cause it’s the sensible thing to do. It’s not like he really thought I’d do it.
So here’s the really cool thing. My husband, who won’t enter Azeroth, unknowingly embarked on an IRL quest. He disappeared and when he returned he said he had the problem solved! He found a belt that was made specifically to attach a dog to … HANDS FREE dog walking!
Yeah … so I’m thinking this is either really sweet … or he’s trying to get me ripped in half … I’m not sure which.
As it turns out, my entire body has a lot more stopping power than my arm. My husband aced the quest.
But … it’s winter, it’s been REALLY cold which means using my SERIOUS winter coat … the big puffy down one. Yeah, that’s what I look like up there. A marshmallow with a rubber band in the middle. Cars are slowing as they pass, people staring out the windows in wonder. LOOK! LOOK! Mommy, it’s a monster!
I certainly hope my dog appreciates that I’m impersonating movie monsters to make sure he gets his walk.
I shouldn’t complain. Arm can recover. Dog can walk. Quest completed! 100 Tokens of Dog Walk Awarded and a Sack of Expired Pet Food. Not a bad
day’s walk’s work.