When Pigs, er, Monkeys Fly

I was never able to find any Stormwind rats that were cats, and was saddened. But this! This more than makes up for it! And people say Darnassus is boring!

Mogolympics Scandal, Judge Tampering?

Stormwind Times – 1 hour

SW ELWYNN FOREST – A shocking revelation today when it was discovered that a judge in the ongoing Mogolympics had their confidential files compromised. It’s being reported that a Darnassian Druid “borrowed” one of the photos of an archery competitor to have a portrait painted. At this point it’s still unclear if there was any wrong doing on the part of the judge, or whether anyone will contest the results of the event.

Attempts were made to get a statement from the Night Elf Druid who was on a Bandit killing spree in Elwynn Forest at the time. Unfortunately we were unable to get the interview. Communication was hampered by a giant dog who seemed to perceive the news team as a threat. While escaping one reporter heard, “He was so dreamy, I never got to met him. Sob … sob.” The team managed to make it to the safety of the Goldshire Inn. The judge in question has declined an interview, and has reportedly gone into hiding at an undisclosed location.

Waiting …

Yeah, I’m just waiting. Otherwise known as faffing. Waiting for the scores for the Archery round from the computator supreme. Waiting for Patch 5.0.4. Waiting for September 25th. Just you know, waiting for stuff.

I’d like to thank That Was an Accident for the idea to dance on Varian’s head. Couldn’t get anyone else interested, but that’s okay. Dancing on Varian’s head can be enjoyed solo or with a group.

Got to thank Bubbles of Mischief and The Crimson Hammer for reminding me about the dog whistle. Yay! Finally got it!

Yeah … that last one. Shouldn’t really blame that on anyone else. That’s kind of me … doing the WoW equivalent of contemplating my navel I guess. And what’s really creepy is, it was a lot longer. I cut it short to save you the pain.

Rest assured that reporters are standing by to bring you the Mogolympics news as soon as it breaks. In the meantime I’ll have to go looking for some more last minute shopping to do while I wait for the world as we know it to change once again.

I Love Your Artichoke and My Dog has Fleas

Oh grow up! I am not mocking Thrall, I’m trying to make a point. I decided to do the photo shoot in Theramore kind of as a reminder. Anyway, the whole Horde = Evil, Alliance = Good or vice versa is a false dichotomy. There are good and bad on both sides and Thrall happens to be one of my favorites, so I invited him along and he wanted to come. To assist. Me. In a rant, if you couldn’t already tell.

This isn’t shaping up to be a red letter week so I’m going to rant early on and maybe scare the badness away, it’s worth a shot. AUTO CORRECT STOP TRYING TO HELP ME DAMMIT! Because of star alignment and evil forces in real life I’m having to try to comment using my iPad. I am heartily sick of typing I love your helm and after clicking reply seeing that I’ve just said I love your artichoke. I can come across as an idiot all on my own thank you, I don’t need your bloody help to make no sense so STOP!

I’m having to comment on my iPad as I have to monitor my dog. No, he doesn’t have fleas, that would be easy. He has separation anxiety and if I have to go out and hunt for food and take too long there are consequences. He licks his feet out of worry and then a vet visit and a lot of nasty drugs that will take their toll if overused will be necessary so today I decided to be PROACTIVE and craft WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS paw protectors. OMG! That’s a long run-on sentence even for me.

So the problem was I couldn’t leave the house as he’d worry. I’m taking care of the dogs next door this week and that already sets him off as I come home smelling of “other” dog treachery, so a trip to the store was out until my husband came home. I couldn’t wait. I went through all our drawers hunting for something with elastic I could deconstruct. I finally found the perfect thing and spent the morning trying to rip out the elastic. I’m a little rusty with a seam ripper. I know, shame on me being a leathercrafter and all.

Finally I liberated the elastic! Got to remember to hide the ripped up remains of the sacrificial garment. Hope it wasn’t a favorite. At last! The ultimate in paw protection! I know my husband will be happy I put his socks to good use! I just know it! Do you see that, troubles? Want a piece of me? Yeah, come at me! Armed with household items I will craft an item to smite you, no lie!

Anyway, hope it works. Got my fingers crossed. And if I said anything weird on your blog it wasn’t me. It was auto correct. I’m obviously not weird. So anyway, how do you like his transmog? Needs a name though. Footpads of Lickiness Not? Footguards of Canine Lament? I don’t know, I’ll have to keep working on that.

Fenris US, You have Arrived!

Yes Fenris! It’s official! Our credentials have been scrutinized. The sighting has been investigated and authenticated. It’s official. Fenris is now authorized by the Navi-One board of officials. We can now proudly display our seal. We have had a Navimie VISITATION!

I’m a little worried, I hope the requests for official visits from the governments of servers all over the world don’t overwhelm Navi. State visits can be so time consuming and interfere with those important day-to-day tasks like exterminating those foxes. It will probably be okay. She’s not only the Rhyming Queen, she’s also the Multitasker Supreme!

Frightened by a Real Life Coconut

I know some people think some of my faces are scary. No, not THIS ONE. The digital ones I make. You know. But just now I was literally terrified! Sweet Elune! I go to Matty’s blog to have a nice read and what do I see. AND IT CAN NOT BE UNSEEN!  I’m going to have nightmares! AAAAAHHHHH! What manner of beast it that!

I thought she was surely kidding but on googling “coconut crab” I found she wasn’t. Apparently we don’t need to spend a bazillion dollars making movies with scary creatures CAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY HERE! Okay, just calm down. Take a breath. Maybe go login somewhere safe. Yeah, I’m pretty sure they don’t have anything that horrible in Azeroth, I’ll be safe there.

Apologies, Portals, Ponies and Best Title Ever

Yesterday my husband came into the room and saw the scared dog picture. He yelled what ##$**%%## is that! I think it scared him. He just looked at me and said he felt like a parent whose child was sent home from school because they were caught writing the note above and the guidance counselor suggested getting help for them … soon.

So anyway, I EXPLAINED that it was a scared dog not a scary one but still I noticed he waited for me to go to bed first, like he wasn’t completely comfortable falling asleep before I did, silly. So it seems Cymre and Classy were right. Too scary, so apologies!

I saw that Navi’s TNB interview was available so I hurried to listen to it. I realized that all the things she dislikes are things I like in game. If she ever wants an alt I could level it for her and then hand it over. I tend to lose interest in most characters once they reach level cap.

While listening I emailed my daughter asking what was up as I hadn’t heard from her and she wasn’t posting on Facebook. She said she was very busy at work. I can understand that. Later she posted to Facebook about the new furniture she’d acquired for her “desk people.”

Well that explains it, it is a demanding task shopping for those desk people, LOL! I certainly hope they like that lovely bed. Seems a dream job being a desk person.

Then I noticed a tweet while lurking on Twitter. There is a big Steam Summer Sale! I should go look. So I saw you could buy Portal and Portal 2 for something like 6.50 and I only had like 32 minutes in which to act! I’d read about it and was interested so I bought it.

I got to Test Chamber 11 and now I’m stumped, maybe today I’ll figure it out. So after getting stumped I decided to Visit LOTRO and see what was up. I was given a mission that, because I didn’t read it thoroughly, implied to me that I could attain a horse at the lowly level of 8. Thrilled, I made my way through dangerous countryside with many terrifyingly HIGH LEVEL 14s!! AND AT NIGHT!!

So I’m out in all this dangerous countryside hopelessly lost because the game is tracking a different quest than the one I’m on. So I open up things to see if I can rectify that situation and I stumble across my titles. LOOK WHAT I HAVE! Perfect! On seeing the title I guess all the beasts took pity on me as I wasn’t attacked and finally made it to the quest location.

I was a little put out that they’d made me make that perilous journey just to tell me I could possibly get a mount at level 20, it seems that they could’ve just said that in the letter. Oh well, no harm done. I’m enjoying it.

I think what’s caused all this game jumping is the Ogri’la Rep grind. Druid is determined to get to exalted with them. She’s managed to find a method of dealing with the rays without killing them. But the Simon game! I hate you Simon game. OMG! I finally had to admit defeat and gave in and got Ogri’Lazy because even at 85 those shocks still hurt.

So after those dailies I usually leave poor Druid stuck up there in Sylvanaar and go blow holes in the wall in Portal as therapy.

And I’m beginning to worry about JD at Amateur Azerothian. For Mog Madness he made a wonderful Google Doc that made judging so much easier for us. I have visions of JD buried under the, at present, 76 entry Mogolympics Google Doc from hell! I hope he’s alright. I would try to find my way to him to see if he’s okay but I’m easily lost.

Hostile Takeover

Of all the bloody cheek! Some pushy little human reporter named Ironsally tracked me down and insisted I be interviewed about my upcoming Olympic debut and no one’s here. Well I know what to do with a power vacuum. Fill it. I’m taking over this blog today as the owner, that silly Alliance Druid is off somewhere eating some kind of heated dog in celebration of something. Maybe Felhound, who knows. The Dark Lady DOES NOT RESCHEDULE. I’ll do my own interview, how hard could it be.

I know those two windbags Garrosh and Varian were photographed. But I know what the people of Azeroth are REALLY interested in. Me. The Banshee Queen. Sylvanas Windrunner. THE DARK LADY. ME ME ME.

Why so shocked. I know you all thought my sport would be archery but where’s the challenge in that. I would have killed all other competitors they brought before me. What? What do you mean, it’s not done like that, however else would they do it? Oh nevermind, I want to talk about my sport, badminton.

A worthy sport to test speed, precision, agility and stamina, all of which I have in unparalleled abundance … no one would argue that … and live. The chance to see me play is the chance of a lifetime. You must make the … WHAT?

There’s some flashing button here telling me it’s time for the scheduled Public Service Announcement whatever that means. I’ll see what it does.

The Transmogolympics is here! Don’t miss showing off your mogging talent, just visit Amateur Azerothian for information and compete!

This wasn’t as fun as I thought, in fact it’s rather tedious. Maybe if it was a blog dedicated to me I’d feel differently, well I’m off. I have appointments to keep, plans to make, not to mention badminton practice.

Farewell. I have much to ponder.

Heated dog, chips of potato and Ginger Shandies? What kind of celebration would warrant such strange fare. Real life, an odd place indeed.

Hello Internet, I <3 You!

Yay! Yay! Hello internet! I love you! I love making truegold transmutes, I love archeology and fishing and … okay, I’ll stop listing everything but I am so happy to be back. And what the hell was that anyway, some kind of thunderstorm on steroids came through Friday evening raining limbs down on us and then we lost power. I really am a spoiled brat, a day and a half without power turned me into a sniveling wreck.

First was internet withdrawal, that was really bad until it got so hot in here that kind of distracted me. Power is usually restored pretty fast, so I was hopeful. After it got dark I dug out my camping head attachment. It looks like a miner’s hat, with a light on the front. I don’t camp, I use it to muck about with the back of the computer but it works really well for reading in the dark.

Morning came, still no power. Uh oh. We don’t have city water, we have well water. It’s pumped up by an electric motor. I ran around checking toilet tanks, okay we have three flushes left. Time to go water shopping. I think the really clever and less optimistic people beat us to the good water. We had to buy these cases of small bottles from an area that had power. We stopped for coffee at a donut shop that apparently straddled the “yes we have power” and the “no power” zones because the kitchen had no power to make donuts but the coffeemakers worked, whew.

Do you have any idea how many of those little bottles of water it takes to fill a tank, geez. My husband said just go in the woods, IS HE SERIOUS? Thank you very much but I’ll continue to pour little bottles of water in the tank. You want to go out there and get stung on sensitive parts by a hornet or something, go ahead. Guys … sheesh.

Anyway the storm also ruined my diet, I was doing so good for two weeks but once the power came on, to celebrate I rushed out to get a celebratory pizza and for dessert chocolate cheesecake seemed suitably festive so now I just feel kind of sick … but happy.

Now I have to catch up on what’s going on in WoW and elsewhere. Oh. More heat, storms loom for battered East, I’m just going to go fill up the bath tubs first, then I can catch up on my reading.

Srsly I’m Going to Stop After This and Start Your Engines!

Seriously … this is my last mostly not WoW post … for now. Matty commented on the double eyebrow post which just led to me thinking about my mother working on my last nerve. Now I know that’s the job of mothers. I’ve been told I’m really, really good at it too. But in my case I’m kind of a teaser, I’ll tease you to death. It’s so easy though because my daughter still takes me seriously, when my husband knows most of what I say isn’t serious but anyway … my mother.

What? Yes, it’s really my mom, what can I say, she works out. Anyway, yesterday she told me that they showed a movie at her senior community and it’s wasn’t at all acceptable for women. It was a man’s movie, not a woman’s movie. OH GAWD! Here she goes. Why, I enquired? Yeah, I was asking for it, I know.

Because it was full of violence and killing! That’s not a women’s movie! Okay, and the movie in question was PG13, Sahara. And then she went on about how shocking and violent it was, this drives me nuts, I can’t help it. She said, “Women don’t like that, no women wants to see that!”

My mother the spokesperson for um … womenhood.

I couldn’t stand it. “YES THEY DO MOM, SOME WOMEN WATCH VIOLENCE AND KILLING, SOME WOMEN ACTUALLY KILL AND MAIM ON A DAILY BASIS!” Yeah, it’s in Azeroth but still.

What women would do that?

I said, “ME, I DO THAT!” “ME!”

Deep breath. I’ll try to calm down now. She gets me going every time she starts with the “what women are like” and the “what men are like” crap. I fall for it every time. Damn. Oh, and if you want to know what she thinks of men, THEY ARE GODS, along with doctors, but only men doctors. ARGH! She got me again!

Since it’s Father’s Day I’m not going to comment on what I think about the whole MEN ARE GODS thing, I’m going to let that one go … for today … as a present … just this once. So yeah … Happy Father’s Day.

Since this is all Matty’s fault that I’m still going on and on about real life, we should get her back. Go over there and inundate her with entries in the Road Rally. Get out there on your land mount and tour Outland. And there’s a cool prize and I don’t know maybe cookies. She’s given all the clues! You can get them all at once, quick, get thee to a mount AND RIDE!