Archive for WoW Warlocks

Winter’s Veil … Bah Humbug

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on December 18, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

cimshaWell finally … a little peace around here. Ms. “Squee! Another pet!” Cat and the crew are off to Ironforge spending their days flying back and forth trying to acquire a Rotten Little Helper. While I applaud their choice of pet for once … really … Cat and her bunnies and kitties and SQUEEEE gets old fast.

I don’t really “get” the whole pet thing. Since they all left me here ALONE at Winter’s Veil to learn Destruction, I’m sure no one will mind that I raided the bank and bought a pet suitable for a Warlock … yeah … no cute little kitties for me.

So after making my purchase, I headed back to the torture chamber proving grounds to get stuck on wave seven again. I saw a Zandalari Warscout sneaking along below. Oh! A pleasant diversion before I have to get back to class! Maybe he’ll have a bag of cloth on him.

OMG!!!OMG!!!OMG!!! It killed ME! THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE! THAT SO DID NOT JUST HAPPEN! WTF!

That’s it! I’ve had it! This is humiliating and you DO NOT humiliate a Warlock. I headed back to the Shrine and reversed all the gems and enchants and reforges at GREAT expense to that interfering busybody handler … snicker … that will teach her!

purplecimTHIS is who I am! THIS is who I’ll remain, there will be no more fiddling with my spec. I AM a Demonology Warlock and a Demonology Warlock I WILL remain.

Um … two things … I learned two things. Although Warlocks act like they don’t care about things like Winter’s Veil they apparently do. Don’t pack up and leave them behind with a task they consider onerous. You will pay and pay dearly for it.

Second thing, it looks like I’ll have to do this Destruction thing from level one to get it right … sigh.

You just wait right there Warscout! Don’t you move Warscout! A Destruction Warlock is COMING FOR YOU … it’s just … you know … it might be a little while.

Brain Vapor Lock Lifted!

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on August 15, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

easymoneyYeah, this picture has nothing to do with the post, It’s all that’s left of a post I deleted but as usual I didn’t want to lose the screen shot so I’ll title it, “Money for Nothin’ and Chicks for Free” and you can make up your own story.

Yesterday my brain just vapor locked in Azeroth which is certainly preferable to when it happens irl which on occasion it does. There are no Spirit Healers irl so it’s risky business indeed. I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to Matty, Lyss, Tyledres and Cain. I have no idea AT ALL why I was being so stupid. I don’t send my Demonology Warlock out to do dailies equipped with a Wrathlord so I have no idea why I sent out the newbie Destruction Warlock equipped with an Observer. Thankfully you all stopped me before I set out to battle dinosaurs with that no account blob.

When Sasche and I arrived on the dino island and followed the instructions from Lyss it all just fell into place and I GOT IT! Hey, this is fun! I can’t wait to visit my buddy Al’tabim the valor machine All-Seeing and get an idea how it compares to Demonology because I hit him up for valor all the time, he’s such a friend.

And I refuse to be silenced by Blogger, I keep trying to comment on Tyledres’ post and Blogger is refusing me entry. So I just wanted to say I hope they get to the bottom of it. I do the same thing! My husband says you can hold a conversation with me when I’m asleep which is kinda funny but the bad part is I also wander around while asleep. Geez, I’m glad I don’t have to put up with me. And don’t forget to eat! So there Blogger!

twinsLastly, after Kam commented that the Robe of Doan was worn by Warlock trainers in Stormwind I just had to visit and get a shot of her with her old teachers. I’m sure they had quite a nice reminisce about when she used to throw flaming spit balls in class. I’m pretty sure she logged some serious time in detention.

Thank you all, you fine purveyors of Destruction!

Warlock Changing Horses Midstream

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 14, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

midstreamCome on Sasche you can do it, take that first step. Yorik Sharpeye is sitting there watching you, do you want him to think you’re a chicken Warlock, just jump in!

Yeah, Sasche’s been through some hard times. First Cim the Warlock stole her weapon and she was reduced to begging an old one from the Klaxxi in case she got jumped hanging around Orgrimmar and had to defend herself. Now that she convinced my Scribe to make her a new one more trouble struck. That would be me.

Since Destruction is supposed to be all that and more let’s respec! Won’t that be fun! Well, so far … not so much. First she’s having a hard time bonding with that … ah … drooling blob. She can’t even seem to get his name straight, I told her to just call him Rogg and don’t worry. I’m not sure he knows the difference.

One of the reasons she had been collecting dust was the dearth of Horde players on my server. I went to buy her appropriate Destruction glyphs and … no glyphs. No people, no glyphs. So to make it up to her I saw Jade Spirit for sale so bought her that. There, that should be a moral booster! Right Sasche? Right?

So off we go to test out our destro prowess and oh no! Stuff was trying to get her! Ow! Sheesh, that fat drooling blog is no Voidlord he appears to have no sense of loyalty, it’s kinda every man for himself. What? Am I supposed to cast while running away? I feel like a Mage and THAT was disastrous. I must be missing something here.

I found quite a few guides, Saga’s got a really nice one but I’m still kinda of going, wait? Where? What? Is it possible I’m going to have to start from level 1 to grasp Destruction? And no, really, it’s not just an excuse to start another alt. Is it my destiny to be a purple demon and purple demon only?

I’m not giving up yet, I think it’s time for some tough love Sasche. I’m going to plonk you down on Dinosaur Isle until you get it right. It’s for your own good. You have to get this because I’m not paying to reforge you back to Demo. Just not. It’s sink or swim time. Get swimming.

A Tale of Love and Death for Amijade

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on February 1, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

sascheAt the moment my life is filled with pain. My Hunter has been sitting in The Slithering Scar which isn’t easy as she’s phobic about bugs. She’s waiting for Clutchmother Zavas to spawn because Euphyley told her how to get a great pet! This morning, sans contacts I logged in. Nothing, I’ll just clear the bugs to wait. NO! OH NO! Yup, it was Clutchmother. Just what Euph said not to do. She’s so ashamed and mad at herself.

I have never seen a Minfernal, even on the map let alone in person. So much pain. What does this have to do with Warlocks? Oh, a lot.

When feeling low there is no greater time to call upon your Warlock. Why? To inflict PAIN ON OTHERS! TONS OF PAIN! OODLES OF PAIN! HAHAHAHAHA!

In a fit of anger at the audacity of another Tainted Cockroach spawning and getting her hope of a Minfernal up, Ironsally went on a rampage, killing every rotten Coackroach in Felwood. Die you wretched creatures, DIE! It felt good but we can do better! Unleash level 88 Sasche in her quest greens! She prowls the land looking for rares leaving wanton destruction in her wake!

She talks a friend into accompanying her to AQ40 where she pulls the entire population of bugs! HAHAHAHAHA! DIE! DIE DIE! She kills with no remorse, she’s a Warlock AND Forsaken, can’t do that on goody-goody Druids can you. No, Cat only kills things that attack her, she probably picks up spiders and puts them outside. She’s probably a member of D.E.H.T.A., wouldn’t do for a Druid to act in such an unseemly manner, oh no … pffft.

It’s so refreshing to be truly evil and not have to apologize, can’t do it irl, Druid won’t do it, so it’s left up to us. The Warlocks. To run cackling through throngs of the enemy trailing deadly fire, Wrathguard Felstorming unlucky survivors! YES! YES! YOU WILL FEEL MY PAIN! And I’m an Undead Warlock so I have THE EXTRA PAIN I tell you, and you will feel it! My clothes don’t match and I look disastrous! YOU WILL PAY! aaaiiiEEE!

Yes, remorselessly dealing death and pain. No apologies. It’s even expected. Where else can you get that? Nowhere.

Ah … I love the smell of burning bodies in the morning.

/hugs my little Warlocks. I <3 you!

My Beautiful, Beautiful, Warlock (work with me here)

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 3, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yes, yes, another Warlock outfit. Didn’t you just do that? Yes, but this is in the interest of keeping the peace. It’s hard enough keeping the peace cross-faction, but I’ve got cross-faction Warlock envy now and you KNOW something like that could get out of hand quickly, wouldn’t be pretty. I think I’ve listed this blog as PG so having blood and gore and souless kittens flying about would just not do.

So. My Forsaken was really put out with me about Ironsally’s outfit. She wanted equal billing. She wanted to look pretty, so here’s her “out on the town” outfit. Doesn’t she look lovely? Pssst!! I said doesn’t she look lovely? Come on, help me out a little here, please, just for the sake of harmony, someone tell her she’s pretty. Pay no attention to the small, skittery sound of her fingers clacking together. Look at her, she’s a vision of loveliness. What? Okay, Undead loveliness.

I told her the outfit accented her lovely alabaster skin and it does. And she saw the goggles and just had to have them because since, well … um … the accident she’s missed having her … eyes. So she was quite excited and said it was almost like having them back.

Anyway, hopefully showing off her new outfit should put an end to more character squabbling, which really can get so tiresome because all I ever do is referee these things, sheesh, I hardly ever get anything done.

Some of you may be thinking, oh, come on TotA, that’s so last month. But this is new to me and I stole it from Rolly McEyeballs who stole it from someone else. I keep watching it over and over and and I’m now convinced those aren’t misheard lyrics, THEY ARE REALLY saying that. Truly. Genuinely.

To a background of singing lawnmowers I bid you adieu. It is my cue to sadly leave my computer and get to work … outside. With calling birds, a lovely breeze and the smell of Spring. Thank the gods the Warlocks aren’t here, they hate that kind of crap.

More Shameless Warlock Self Promotion

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on March 27, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yes, my Forsaken was so incensed on hearing that Warlocks aren’t popular, she seems to have taken on promoting them as her pet project … instead of getting to 85. I just think she likes Uldum and doesn’t want to leave. She insisted we go back before heading out to Twilight Highlands and kick that stupidhead Myzerian’s butt. Because if you defeat him and cut off his head you can turn it in for a nice reward. There’s a bounty on that sucker. If you had to dodge him while wearing that cloak that supposedly would make you hard to see (Ha!) you’ll really enjoy paying him back.

She’s level 84 with pretty crappy quest gear. BUT! She’s a Warlock, my friend, and you too can feel the power of the Warlock. (Okay, I am just writing what she’s telling me to, so don’t blame me if some of this is over-hyped.) Where’s her Voidwalker? Well, yeah, he didn’t make it but no worries, as a Warlock you can make a macro for insta-void! He’ll pop back up ready to go! The point here is that you too can be a masterful, controller of the dark arts, more powerful than your tree-hugging Druid cousin who couldn’t manage to bring him down even though she has BETTER CLOTHES!

Oh man, did you have to go there? I don’t know why you two do this. Why do you have to start something with the Druid here. She does really well in bear form if it requires living through being physically beaten on for long periods of time. This just wasn’t her thing, you know she’s sensitive about it. Can we just get on with why people should roll Warlocks and leave your feud out of this?

If you don’t stop this I’ll tell everyone that a Hunter in crappy gear can … WAIT! Okay, okay.

Anyway, as a Warlock you can take on mighty beasts that many other classes can not. If you’re a solitary type, Warlocks are for you! You don’t need no stinkin help!

You will be powerful,

calling demons to your command.

Wreaking havoc across the land.

Call down boulders of death from the skies,

with a just mere flick of the hand.

All will fear you!

(Well, this is all quite a revelation to me, I must say. She’s never said that much in the whole time I’ve known her. And look, she’s even trying to rhyme. Well I’M certainly not going to comment on the quality, I mean she’s a Warlock. Push them too far and you’ll be running around in fear. I think it’s kind of cute. She’s really worked up about this.)

I mean, come on, seriously, what’s not to like there? Just roll Warlock. Go on. Do it! You know you want to! I am not alone in this, others have taken up the call! You don’t want to be a goody two shoes, Guardian of Cenar … THAT WILL BE ALL WARLOCK! Get yourself moving to Twilight Highlands this minute or I swear I’ll take your minion privileges away for TWO weeks this time.

Warlocks and Sanity

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on March 26, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Isn’t she lovely? I was so impressed by the transmogging skills of the competitors in Mog Madness, I thought I’d try to make my Forsaken look lovely. I found that a busy robe, with lots of pattern seemed to help hide … you know … protruding bones. And a big chunky belt to ADD to her waist, I mean who wouldn’t want THAT problem. Anyway, I told her she could pick any screen shot and I’d stick her in it and that’s the one she picked. I don’t know, maybe she’s a Jaina fan, she doesn’t say much, could be. She’s become extremely lazy on reaching 84. We have to stop fishing and get that last half level done, but before she’d agree she wanted me to say WHAT!!!! WHAT do you mean people don’t like Warlocks!

Yes, we were both horrified by Cynwise’s reports on the state of warlockery. Come on people, Warlocks are the most fun ever! I have about ten! Weird yes, but I have to try one of each race, and then spec. They are like the pizza of WoW to me, I just can’t get enough. Does that make me crazy? I don’t know but I’m starting to wonder, or this computer is haunted.

I was cleaning up my desktop and saw a text file named “imagine” sitting there. Huh? I don’t remember saving anything like that. So I opened it and found.

“are these your imaginery friends? They are real people! I;m  sure they are dear.”

WTF! Who did that! WHO! I know it’s not my husband, he’s knows how to spell imaginary. No one else has been in here so that leaves the dogs and they swear they didn’t do it. One of my characters? Am I sleepwalking in here in the night and doing this stuff in my sleep? Creepy, really creepy, and I’m really telling the truth. I know I’m like the queen of embellishment, but this file is sitting RIGHT HERE, I’m not making this up!

It’s really kinda bumming me out that I might be losing THE REST of my mind. I didn’t say playing a Warlock comes without risks mind you. This whole thing has the stink of dark magic and demons. I admit it. But if I have to lose the rest of my sanity as the price of playing a Warlock, so be it. It’s worth it. Come on Ekkrileezinulog, let’s dot up this place and take it down!

What? Yes dear, I’ll be there in a minute. Just finishing up a few things. Muhahaha … to the ground! FEAR ME! I DINE ON THE SOULS OF BABY KITTENS FOR BREAKFAST! FEAR … coming dear.

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