The Boys of WoW

This all started innocently enough. I was amused by a search term but now I can’t seem to let it go. Dear God, can one of you healers hit me with a Banish Puerile Nitwittery spell, please? I promise this will be the last post on the hotness of male WoW races. I must stop before the Azerothian Committee Against the Objectification of Male Toons slaps me with a lawsuit.

Now this is just me but I like human males, in and out of game. I know lots of people think they need a redesign but I still think they’re great. And this one … swoon … in uniform, it doesn’t get any better than that. Of course unless he’d dance for me, then it would be perfect.

I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Ulduar, it may be my all time favorite. Do I watch it for the great song or the wonderful animation? No, I’m watching that Belf, he’s dreamy … sigh.

Okay, there are always pros and cons, goods and bads, rights and wrongs, yings and yangs. Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going with that either but as much as I hate to point fingers here it has to be said. There are some not hot races too. Now Orcs have promise but the only time I’ve been up close and personal with an Orc or Tauren male they’ve been busy killing me because I accidentally got flagged PvP during the Midsummer Fire Festival or something. It’s hard to make a determination on the hotness of a race while they’re flailing a weapon around at you. And the Forsaken, yeah, even Forsaken females agree, not so hot.

BUT THIS!!! OMG!!! SO WRONG. Look … and he’s leering at me … Eeeuuuuwwww!!! Call the guards! Make it that cute one in the uniform! Help! Yeah, not a pretty sight. But I mean male gnomes have to know they aren’t even close to hot. I feel sorry for the female gnomes, they’re so cute and perky and they have to come home to him … leering … shudder.

This next one I feel kind of bad about. I mean my Druid’s a Night Elf and she has lots of male Night Elf friends and acquaintances but … sorry … not hot.

This is just me but there’s something about the male Night Elf that makes me feel he’s buddy material. Every time one speaks to me I feel like he’s going to ask me to pass the joint and should we go on a munchie run before we watch cartoons. It’s like a hippie commune survived somewhere in Azeroth and the males come out Deadheads, mourning the fact that they missed Woodstock. Strangely enough the female Night Elves seem to leave the commune unscathed.

Oh thank heavens, I just got an email. I have actual work to do. You are to be spared any further speculation by me on the general hotness of the males of Azeroth. I just found that being an introvert playing MMOs has at least one plus. I’ll talk about that next, that should be safe.

13 Responses to “The Boys of WoW”

  1. Must admit I’d PvP with that male Bloodelf. Human males in-game don’t do it for me though. Luckily my husband only plays female characters, apart from one male Tauren.

    I do quite like male Taurens though, must be a size thing.

    • Yes, I think I’m in the minority liking human males (in-game) but I suspect a lot of us agree on the Bloodelf. I feel a little guilty keeping him in the Ebon Hold.

      Oh boy, I don’t think I’ll comment on the Tauren male. I made it through the whole post not commenting on the human’s sword, I was very proud of myself so I don’t want to mess up now!

  2. You and I will have to agree to disagree about Blood Elves vs. Night, my dear friend: the BEs are a bit too pretty for my taste. Maybe it’s the Shaggy vs. Fred contest for me, once more. And I have to say, having dated a dwarf/gnome or two in the past, they can be quite charming, too.

    It’s okay about the sword – we get the point.

    • Oh good, that makes me happy Matty. I felt bad calling out the Gnomes and Night Elves like that so I’m glad that one woman’s not hot is another woman’s charming date.

      I’m undecided about dwarves, sitting with them in a tavern over an ale … that accent … yep, you’re right, they’ve got something going on there.

  3. I’m sorry but NO to belf males. I find them to be pouting, pigeon chested prats. Mind, I’m looking from a male perspective but … yeuch. If pressed I find Tauren males to be the best model.

    • Martin, I completely agree with you about the belf males. They are prats. I remember way back in the day, I couldn’t understand why the boys liked the mean, vapid, girls with the um, you know. They had nothing going for them other than some cool body parts, while all I had were glasses and braces.

      Oh how superior I felt, you shallow males! WoW and belfs have made me see that I’m exactly the same … silly shallow female.

  4. Sorry hun, I’m gonna have to also say no to the male Blood Elves. Much too pretty boy for me. They seem far more into themselves than they could ever be with another person.

    Now male Night Elves seem to be mellow, caring sorts for the most part. They have a little bit of gruffness to them that I kind of dig, not to mention they can grow facial hair (big plus in the aesthetics department for me). Some of the Night Elf types get a bit too hippie for me too, but find the right one and I’d probably sidle on up to strike a conversation or three.

    I wouldn’t rule our Dwarven males, provided that they’re dark, handsome, and have bathed recently. Gnomes though? Yup, total squeaky voiced creepers. No thanks to Gnome males.

    Honestly, I’d do Thrall in a heartbeat. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s handsomely green, a shaman (though him going from enhancement to elemental takes the shaman hotness factor down a notch or two for me), not a total douche, or if the fact that he’s voiced by Metzen has anything to do with it, but yeah…Thrall, any time of day.

    It’s far too late, I should either be working on something or sleeping, and here you have me fantasizing about WoW dudes. /swoons at pixels

    • Oh Saz, I so agree about Thrall. My Druid recently spent some time with the younger Thrall. Keepers of Time rep to finish. She told me she was more than willing but he’s such a gentleman his only thoughts were to rescue Taretha so nothing ever came of it.

      Got to go, I see there is a new post up at Yay!!

      • Young Thrall was a cutie, but current day Thrall is a man of men. When Aggra was introduced I was all “Awww hell nah girlfriend, who are you and why are you all up on my man Thrall.” Sure they may go way back, they have that deep love thing going on, but man…I’m gonna swoon over Thrall anyways.

        Yup! Finally got the bugger out. I’m hoping the next post (or optimistically, two) will be out before the end of the month. Sadly there won’t be anything steamy in Kelebek’s world for a looong while yet, poor thing. That girl needs some serious lovin’, and I’m not just talking about from her writer.

  5. See, I agree totally about the male BE’s, although my game partner doesn’t always like the BE form as he doesn’t think you can look masculine enough in a lot of the tank gear. So a while ago he race changed to a male Tauren and wants to make a Panda main when Mists comes out…I have to say though that I was ecstatic when he made him a BE again, but that’s just me.

    • Hi Cymre, I can’t help myself. Although I do agree with those that criticize Blood Elf males as seeming vain and self-absorbed I still think they’re hot, lol.

      I’m with you. If I could ever get my husband to play (not happening) I would be thrilled if he’d be a Blood Elf but I know, absolutely, positively he’d want to be a Tauren.

  6. I am loving our shameless sex sells tactics Ancient, it’s great. Look at all the traffic! I swear you cheated and actually put pictures of HOT boys on the site.

    Now I have to say, that particular night elf is no, not hot. But I LOVE demon hunters. The naked chest, the broad shoulders, the narrow waist and tattoos… oh so hot. I think I have some pics on my site somewhere…. oh here and I also have a thing about Tauren males and Thrall is oh so YUM too..

    Great post though, totally enjoyed it 🙂

    • Wow Navi, you’re right, that Demon Hunter is definitely hot!

      I hope I didn’t get you into trouble, I’m getting worried cause I’m getting the search term “swtor nude” now. I may have poked a hornet’s nest with the whole nude thing. I hope we don’t end up having to be “all hot pixel boys daily” blogs, yikes!

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