Archive for June, 2012

Doldrums WoW or Otherwise

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on June 15, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yesterday I had a “day.” I work very hard to avoid triggering “days” but sometimes you just can’t stop them, so as usual I did a self-portrait. I don’t know why it helps to relieve the self-loathing but sometimes it does. WoW usually helps but when it’s really bad the only company I can stand is the dogs. For whatever reason I feel that letting other people feel your depression is rude, something like mooning them. And I’m convinced it’s catchy and I don’t want anyone to catch that … so dogs. Because sometimes it takes too much effort to hide it.

I’m thinking I should gather together all my self-portraits and put them all on a T-shirt and get a little velcro arrow, and I can point it to the one I feel like that day.

Looking at my picture today it seems I have hair and wrinkle issues and I must be scared of something. Maybe it’s telling me to get a hair cut. So anyway I didn’t feel much like playing but I thought it might help and then I remembered my second account. My failed dual-boxing experiment.

What happened with that? I just got tired of that clone excessively drowning. I mean I had no idea there was that much water on Azuremyst Isle. I managed to run through and lose her anyplace it was the least bit damp. See this is why I don’t think I’d be a good healer either, I can only manage to sort of look after me it seems.

I logged in and wasn’t feeling Azuremyst Isle so I looked at the list of servers. What’s this? New players? I’ll try that. And yes, I rolled a Warlock.

I couldn’t get a wide enough shot but Eastvale Logging Camp had about twenty players running around. On the last quest in Northshire Abbey there were about 15 players trying to complete it. They’d all try to kill Kurtok and then were perplexed when they didn’t get the credit. No amount of telling them to group for it got through to them, just like old times!

There were no Kobolds to steal candles from, they couldn’t respawn fast enough, and the DYING, OMG. Bodies dropping left and right! A Hunter meleeing, Mages meleeing, it really was incredible. I had stepped into a time machine and traveled back six years to where it all started.

Okay WordPress, what’s with the negativity here. You’re not helping. WordPress decided to log me out, so I just lost the rest of the post and I don’t feel like trying to remember what the hell I said.  Basically I think I wrote a whole bunch of words that boiled down to I had one damn good time. And the saving of Mages? The Warlock did it to embarrass them, she loves to do that. Only problem is they’re so new I don’t think they knew enough to be embarrassed, they were grateful, can you imagine?

The other thing I did to lift spirits was get some decent gear. If you don’t raid it’s pretty difficult. I had been chatting with Navi the Multitasker Supreme and in between whispers there’d be a “Navi has just defeated INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE BAD GUY!” Then we’d chat and there would be, “Navi has just defeated ANOTHER EVEN WORSER BAD GUY!” I whispered, “Geez Navi, are you writing a post too?” She replied, “Gear helps, lol.” Or something to that effect so I thought well, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll get Cat some good gear, at least a nice weapon. I got her the Polearm of Peace from this vendor, she’s ecstatic.

So I’ll probably be heading back to my “New Players” server today. Lots of lives to save. I guess theoretically I could be  called a funsucker but they seemed to have plenty to spare, they won’t miss this little bit. Muhahaha … I vant to drink your blood fun.

How Not to be Good at your Class

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 13, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

As I may have mentioned before this blog has no useful information, oh wait, there was that one shining SWTOR speeder vendor location moment but aside from that … zip … nada … nothing. I’d love to have lots of class specific facts to impart but that’s just not going to happen. And this is why.

It occurs to me (and I’m sure it occurs to you but you’re too polite to say it) that if I’d stop fooling around making a bazillion alts of every class, I might actually be able to master the two classes I care most about, kitty Druid and Demo Warlock.

But alas, I can’t stop myself. I am an altoholic. So here’s my one piece of good advice, don’t do what I do. Don’t play five different classes at once. You get the keys mixed up. You keep pounding on the wrong ones or you forget you can Feign Death because you think you’re a Druid or you run right up to a mob and try to beat it to death while forgetting you’re a Mage.

Okay, now that I’ve got that warning out of the way, meet Neuroteca my new Mage. Yeah, she’s not much of a go-getter. She’s the first character I’ve ever known that’s so lazy she sits to fish. Historically, the Mage class has always bewildered me. The highest I’ve ever managed to level one was 53, she’s now my bank alt. I couldn’t delete her after the agony she went through to get to level 53.

Yeah, the Warlocks are all pissy about this but I told them it’s in the interest of knowledge. The more we know about Mages the better to kill them, I’m pretty sure they bought it because they liked the whole killing Mages part.

And I’ve been given a lot of good advice which I ignored. Spec Frost for leveling, why aren’t you Arcane? Because, obviously I want to fling giant balls of fire around, sheesh, if I’m going to be a Mage I’m going to throw great balls of fire or what’s the point.

So anyway, I had a plan. I would overcome my aversion to LFD and level her that way. Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Go into instances with a class that I have NEVER been able to play well, without heirlooms. What could go wrong?

I still don’t know. She’ll probably be deleted or level 85 before I get in a group. I haven’t been able to stay on long enough for the queue to come up with a group. Maybe it’s protecting me, maybe it’s PROTECTING THEM! Probably it’s just DPS and end of expansion fatigue.

So in the meantime I’ve decided leveling a Mage is kinda like an Ironman Challenge for me. Mostly because I seem incapable of staying out of melee range. Probably why Warlocks are the only casters that I like. Big purple demon FTW!

Yes, while we’re on the subject of ridiculous I had to mention this. I mean look at that shit eating stupid grin on that camel, even he thinks it’s ridiculous. In my Hunter’s quest for a Canopic Jar she stumbled across her first Camel Figurine. Oh! Cool! A free 25 gold! Not caring the least about mounts or titles she was rather annoyed to find no gold, instead she was blown away to Feralas and Dormus.

That makes three, I’m like a camel magnet. I should rent myself out.

Shared Topic — My Main the NPC

Posted in Blog Azeroth Shared Topic with tags , , , on June 12, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

This week’s shared topic at Blog Azeroth, proposed by Cymre of Bubbles of Mischief asks:
If Blizzard added your main as an NPC in WoW, where would they be located and what would be their function? Give us a shot illustrating the fact.

That’s an easy one, I’d be the DOG VENDOR, Yes Blizzard, us dog lovers want more Dog Companions!  We’ve got the crazy cat lady in Elwynn Forest. Dogs need equal representation. How about a demented dog lady in Winterspring. I volunteer.

There’s a little house over by Starfall Village that would be perfect. I’ll set up shop there. Dogs of course are so special that you can’t just run off willy-nilly as a low level character to procure one. You will have to level to the suitably lofty height of at least 50 to be safe, ensuring you’re experienced enough for dog ownership.

Okay, really Blizzard, you don’t have to put my main in the game but some dogs would be nice you know. I appreciate the pugs and the mastiffs and my Worg has been filling in as my dog all these years but how about just one more model, or two. Here, here’s some help, the AKC has a list of the most popular breeds. And I’d be happy with any but I personally like BIG dogs. Little accessory dogs are fine too, but I PERSONALLY like big sloppy dogs … just saying.

So there you have it, I stand ready to set up shop in Winterspring and handle the trafficking of canines for you Blizzard, if you need help. If you don’t need my help, fine but please, I love all the glittery mounts and thank you, but some of us just want a dog. Pretty please.

Unexpected Archeology Find

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 11, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

My Hunter has been on a long, dirty, grind of archeology dig sites lately, in search of a Canopic Jar. Unearthing a long buried chest somewhere in the region where the Time-Lost Proto Drake is rumored to fly, she came upon a priceless, ancient document.

On it she found the wonderful words below.  It spoke of a powerful Shaman, her name Mataoka. Could it be? She searched for hints to the author. She knew this style, she’d read it before. Where had she read it, the name just wouldn’t come, and then the mention of wolves! This was a lost poem by the famous rhyming Druid, she just knew it!

Thoughts of Canopic Jars forgotten, she hurried back to town to seek confirmation of her find from the historians, sure they’d be able to authenticate her treasure.

Update: This work has been authenticated, the author is indeed the famed Navimimus of the Frosticus Wolves.

The Steed of Shamans
The Vrykul race of Northrend were a tall and mighty foe
Matty knew for glory, riches, to their lands she’d go
Amazing creatures lived there, this icy northern land
How they could serve the Lich King, Matty couldn’t understand.

One day as Matty battled in the plains of Howling Fjord
A dying Vrykul whispered as he bled upon her sword
A mystic creature found, born of god and mighty steed
Matty thought that this would be a wondrous sight indeed.

The icy walls of Storm Peaks was where the rumours led
But Matty found a score of Vrykul worshipping undead
Adventurers had flocked here for the chance at a great prize
A time lost protodrake, golden, rumoured immense size.

But while they searched the skies for him, Matty searched the mines
She freed some slaves, who showed her spoor and other little signs
Yet others did not even know this fabled beast existed.
The urge to ask about it strong, but Matty, she resisted.

One wintry day Mataoka was on the slopes of Thunderfall
Snow was falling lightly, coating her just like a shawl
A creamy shade, a ghost, came towards her in the sleet
Her destiny was calling, predicting they would one day meet.

She shifted stance, prepared herself, for a long and drawn out fight
The beast emerged, magnificent, a truly awesome sight
A steed of burnished copper, muscles rippling as he paced
Eight legs stamped in powdered snow, while Matty’s heartbeat raced.

His blazing eyes caught Matty’s as she raised for her first strike
Then in her mind she heard a voice, more intimate than she’d like
Her body stilled, her heartbeat too, as memories came aflood
Twas if the beast was calling her, as if she was his blood.

“Mataoka, do not fear me, I have searched so long for thee
I am no ordinary beast, open your mind and see
A draenei as pure of heart, nor pure of soul I’ve found
I’m not a creature to be tamed, nor follow like a hound.”

I’m mortal, born on Azeroth, but descended from a god
I wield power and intelligence, hence why I’ve ne’er been shod
I’ve searched the lands for someone who’d appreciate my gifts
I am swift, can fly and teleport – my power can form rifts.

I can take you to the Underworld if that’s your heart’s desire
I will fight beside you tooth and hoof, and breathe great flames of fire
Such great adventures we can have, I hope to share with you.”
And with a leap sprang skyward, and over her head he flew.

Tears sprang to her eyes, as Matty opened up her mind
The warmth, the truth of bonding with a friend, one of a kind
As the creature landed in the snow, she approached her arms held wide
Embraced him, and he nickered, returning affection to her in kind.

“Steed of shamans, I am called, and Sleipnir is my name.
Stealth is my security, my only bane is fame.
For nobody can know that I exist, except for you.
Or else a prize I will become, and you’ll be hunted too.”

Matty climbed aboard his back and grabbed handfuls of mane
She called her spirit wolves to her, and then a healing rain
Sleipnir reared, his head held high, and bellowed a mighty roar
Then took a great leap to the skies so together they could soar.

You might be lucky and see them if you look towards the skies
But if you don’t, it really shouldn’t be a big surprise
Matty’s sworn to secrecy, she’ll deny it if you ask
For hiding Sleipnir from the world is really, a big task.

Original artwork can be found here.

My Favorite Rare Spawn — TLPD

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 8, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Euphyley of WoW Rare Spawns is having a contest to celebrate her Blog’s first anniversary. Euphyley asks:

I want to know what your favorite rare spawn is – or the one that you will never forget finding in game, and why.

I don’t remember the patch, but I had just read about the Time-Lost Proto Drake being added to the game. I was excited, I thought I’d go check out the area he was reported to spawn in. This was another early morning, no contacts in check, as I just wanted to become familiar with his flight path and I wasn’t planning on looking for him. I had just a few minutes before I had to log off.

I flew to the area around the abandoned camp and alt-tabbed to read the information on him at Wowhead. A little later I came back to find wings flapping on my head, he was on top of me. There was a nearby ledge, we were alone, we fought, the Reins of the Time-Lost Proto-Drake were mine.

Nothing that stupid easy had ever happened before and probably will never happen again. I am now armed with addons and helpers and I’ve still never seen King Krush. So my absolute favorite rare spawn is and will always be the Time-Lost Proto Drake. How could I not love him best. No camping, no hours of waiting only to have someone kill them when they spawned.

I wasn’t even looking for him and yet, he came to me. You gotta love that in a rare spawn. I feed him extra drake biscuits every chance I get.

Making WoW Assumptions

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on June 7, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Assumption

My Hunter’s been hanging around Uldum a lot, picking flowers for my scribe to turn into something to sell and hoping to dig up a Canopic Jar. She finally got her first one, no recipe though. So she’s just derping along smelling the flowers and she happened to see someone trying to save poor Tahet.

I noticed that this person had a real impressive title. I can’t remember what it was now, I’ll just call him, “Iassumed the Light of my Life”. Yes, I am impressed by some titles, so I assumed he didn’t need any help and continued to fly on my merry way, picking flowers. Iassumed was a Paladin, so I further assumed he didn’t need any help.

Helping people has gotten me yelled at in the past, so I’m hesitant to do so, although not helping has also gotten me yelled at so it’s always a risky decision but I wasn’t feeling conflicted because he was a Paladin with “the Light of my Life” title so all was well, I assumed.

I turned back to head up to scour the other side of the river for flowers to pick, I was horrified to see Iassumed dead on the ground. Yes, I felt guilty. I could have helped old Iassumed had I not made an assumption based on a title. After thinking about it I realized Druid has some titles that if worn, could be misconstrued. That’s why she always wears “The Insane” so there’ll be no misunderstandings.

As a kid growing up reading almost exclusively hard Sci Fi, I assumed this would have been accomplished well before the year 2000. Wrong again.

Okay, I’m stalling here. I really hate this next one. Hunter’s will hate me too. I stopped “playing” this Hunter years ago. She just levels and picks flowers, she doesn’t (blaming her here) keep up on all things Hunter anymore. So when she saw Madexx she assumed he was just another rare and dispatched him. You cannot imagine her horror when she, A BEAST MASTER HUNTER, looted the body and found a Crystalline Tear of Loyalty.

The horror and shame. She wouldn’t have tamed him for herself but someone else may have been camping him, just waiting for that one special rare that they always wanted, and she killed it. She is not a Huntard, I’m the Huntard and all because I assumed.

So there’s my sad tale. Madexx and Iassumed both dead because of my WoW assumptions. I don’t know about u but I certainly made an ass out of me.

Self Betterment

Posted in Silly with tags , , on June 6, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

In the interest of self-improvement I’m trying to learn something new. Like what you ask? Learn my spell priorities? Pshaw, nope, everything’s changing again soon so I’ll just keep muddling through, no need to try to be good at this late date. So what you might ask am I learning?

A new language! Well, sort of. Navimie at the Daily Frostwolf has been talking aussie in her posts and I’m trying to learn some. I’ve been trying it out and I think I’m getting the hang of it but I want to make sure. So anyway, here goes, hopefully she’ll let me know if I got it right.

This morning I told my husband to stop being a bludger and get into his budgie smuggler so we could drive out to woop woop before it got dark. “And don’t drive through Goldshire,” I said. “It’s full of bogans at this hour.” All he did was whinge and moan and say he was about to cark from all my yabbering.

Did I get it right? How’d I do? Before I use any of this new found knowledge I want to make sure I’m using it correctly. I’ll never get over the time in Spanish class someone finally told me I was saying, “the table of crap” instead of “the table of wood.” I mean it was really embarrassing and I don’t want a repeat of that.

I was going to try more, but those creepy Goldshire kids started gathering in the bedroom with us so we got out of there in a hurry … in spite of the fact that Goldshire was full of dueling bogans at that hour.

So what do you say Aussies, did I do good? Fair dinkum? Or do I need to go back to the books.

Grom’gol Farm Attack and a New Thing!

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on June 5, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Now I have two things I want to post about, but it will have to wait as I’m just phoning it in on this one. I have yearly vet visits and the need to purchase actual food that’s not in a can or a box. But I just had to show you Sasche’s screen shot, she finally got her heart’s delight, she’s now officially a Camel-Hoarder. Don’t know why her Voidwalker got camera shy all of a sudden. Maybe now I can get her to leave Uldum and find some clothes that don’t clash.

Yesterday I realized that she only lacked about 1500 to get exalted with Orgrimmar so I decided to do a few quests and get that done. I was doing the caravan quest in Northern Barrens and thought, “Oh, this is cute, Blizzard has added to it. There wasn’t a little Gnome attacking me at the end before.” I couldn’t turn it in though as the NPC was nowhere to be found. Yeah, really, that should have been a clue.

So I hang around waiting for them to respawn and they do, as I approach them a Rogue Gnome appears behind them and starts to kill them. That’s not funny anymore Blizzard! Yes, I’m that dense sometimes. In my defense you really don’t see REAL PEOPLE playing in the Barrens on my server very often. So I dispatched him with alacrity. Such alacrity that I thought something was up and on targeting the body I found I’d killed a player. Must have been really low level too, as it just took one bonk on the head to do him in.

I felt guilty, but really, if he’d been enjoying himself attacking non-quest givers I wouldn’t have bothered him. I felt bad that I’d killed him because he’d made me remember the good old days when warnings of attacks rang out all day long. I felt better when I moved on to The Crossroads and saw repeatedly, “Grom’gol Farm is under attack!” You go Epicc! Glad to see he hadn’t lost his fervor.

I’ve been on journeys high and low to find something I haven’t seen before. Who knew it was right in my backpack. Okay, everyone else probably has known this forever, but one of my alts accidentally clicked on the money in her backpack and this window opened up! I did NOT KNOW that you could do that! Eureka! A new discovery!

I know, not all that exciting but after six years I’ll take what I can get!

Okay, I’m out of here. Got to go squeeze fruit.

Laid Back Raids, Men of Iron and Stuff

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 4, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yeah, I started writing a post about something specific and then all these things I wanted to mention kept popping up so I’ve kind of abandoned the initial post. Don’t want to try people’s patience with a wall of text. I just get all these things and ideas in my head when I’m walking the dogs. I have no idea why.

The only thing different that happens while I’m walking the dogs, as opposed to the rest of the day, is that I get repeatedly hit in the back of the leg by a big bag of dog poop that’s filled with smaller bags of … yeah you know, that’s hanging off a belt loop on my jeans. So if you need ideas, I guess you could try it. It works for me AND the neighbors appreciate it when they have to cut their grass.

Last night I attended another of Amateur Azerothian’s Laid Back Raids. As always it was an incredible amount of fun and I just wanted to say thank you to JD for thinking it up! I see next week is Horde week so Warlock will be pleased.

And OMG!!! Ironstevo rocks! He did it! And even the way he did it was unique. Okay, I’m getting dirty looks here from my Warlocks, they said, “Well of course he did it he’s a Warlock isn’t he? There was never a doubt in our minds he’d do it silly rl human.” Ironstevo is now a level 85 NO DEATH Ironman, grats you handsome devil. I know Euphyley has got to be pleased with him. Now she can play without listening for footsteps behind her, but somehow I think she’ll miss it just a little bit.

Ironyca has an interesting post about our in game avatars, but what really caught my eye was her comment about a WoW Factor Event on Earthen Ring-US. Not one troll showed up. How is that possible? A whole server of nice people? Next alt I make I know where I’m going. The best part of the post though was that I now know what Ironyca looks like while she’s judging events, she’s so cute I want to pet her! But then I knew she would be.

While on the subject of cute just look at that. I figured Navi’d be cute and so well dressed too.

WoW Routine

I keep checking Matty’s blog because in this post she mentions planning a Road Rally. I really would love that, I have my car ready! I’ve got my fingers crossed!

And oh, I’m now under a lot of pressure on Twitter. As a result of tweeting my Biker Jacket. Bears are Really Smart post, Bold Leather.com is now following me on Twitter. I’m bound to be a great disappointment to them. I feel I should do something to justify their confidence that I’ll come through for them. I could do a post on grinding savage leather or something but that’s just not that interesting to do, let alone read about. What to do?

I’m trying to come up with some suitable titles for a post.

Savage Leather Codpiece

Heavy Leather Bikini

Deviate Scale Camisole

The problem is that while I’m sure Bold Leather.com would be happy with those titles, I can’t for the life of me think of a post to go with them. I’ll have to give it some thought. Maybe if I login something will come to me, or maybe I should just go on another dog walk.

My Beautiful, Beautiful, Warlock (work with me here)

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 3, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yes, yes, another Warlock outfit. Didn’t you just do that? Yes, but this is in the interest of keeping the peace. It’s hard enough keeping the peace cross-faction, but I’ve got cross-faction Warlock envy now and you KNOW something like that could get out of hand quickly, wouldn’t be pretty. I think I’ve listed this blog as PG so having blood and gore and souless kittens flying about would just not do.

So. My Forsaken was really put out with me about Ironsally’s outfit. She wanted equal billing. She wanted to look pretty, so here’s her “out on the town” outfit. Doesn’t she look lovely? Pssst!! I said doesn’t she look lovely? Come on, help me out a little here, please, just for the sake of harmony, someone tell her she’s pretty. Pay no attention to the small, skittery sound of her fingers clacking together. Look at her, she’s a vision of loveliness. What? Okay, Undead loveliness.

I told her the outfit accented her lovely alabaster skin and it does. And she saw the goggles and just had to have them because since, well … um … the accident she’s missed having her … eyes. So she was quite excited and said it was almost like having them back.

Anyway, hopefully showing off her new outfit should put an end to more character squabbling, which really can get so tiresome because all I ever do is referee these things, sheesh, I hardly ever get anything done.

Some of you may be thinking, oh, come on TotA, that’s so last month. But this is new to me and I stole it from Rolly McEyeballs who stole it from someone else. I keep watching it over and over and and I’m now convinced those aren’t misheard lyrics, THEY ARE REALLY saying that. Truly. Genuinely.

To a background of singing lawnmowers I bid you adieu. It is my cue to sadly leave my computer and get to work … outside. With calling birds, a lovely breeze and the smell of Spring. Thank the gods the Warlocks aren’t here, they hate that kind of crap.