Archive for July, 2012

The Day I Talked in Trade

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on July 30, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

It was evident that I’d better get back. I found Cat had gone and transmogged that outfit with the placeholder belt and was up in Blade’s Edge trying to pass herself off as a healer with a bloody great polearm on her back. Even the Ogri’la weren’t falling for it. Oh, and she’d bought a heap of Mingo’s Fortune Giblets.  She said the giblets were salutiferous and she was hoping for some lucky numbers from the fortune to play the Stormwind lottery.

I thought about why I wigged out the other day and got blogger cold feet. With a little distance now it’s kind of funny. I did something really stupid, way over my head. Something I’m not pro enough to do and I should’ve know better. I usually only whisper, I rarely talk in general, but I NEVER talk in trade, NEVER EVER. I know better. I think the problem is, I am never thinking about the thing I’m doing. If I thought about what I was doing while doing it, I’d be a force to be reckoned with. BUT NO, I’m always thinking about the next thing and not paying attention. This seems to cause bouts of near fatal spontaneity.

So someone in trade chat wanted a Vial of the Sands made, so without thinking I blurted out that I could, IN TRADE. So far so good. They inquired the price. I replied, it’s free. At this point a shit storm of vituperation rained down on me, I guess from my fellow alchemists who must have been doing a brisk business making heaps of money from charging for it. Lucky I didn’t mention I give away cool downs too. They would have traced my IP address and shown up with pitchforks at my door.

I’m sorry to say that I am capable of using foul language that would make a hardened mercenary blush, but I like to think I took the high road and just logged off my alchemist. Yeah, not because I’m a big sissy or anything, it was the high road. So I got in my snit. Except when I went to write a post I couldn’t.

I suddenly realized what I was doing. OMG! OMG! Posting on a blog was like I was talking on a freaking GLOBAL TRADE CHAT! I started questioning the blog and the content. I lost my nerve. What had I been thinking! I had been engaging in ridiculously dangerous behavior. TALKING IN GLOBAL TRADE CHAT! Geez, what a nitwit.

Now that I’ve calmed down I realized that I’ve been doing this for a fair amount of time with only one mean comment, kind of like a drive-by shooting, so probably I’m safe. It’s pretty obvious that the obnoxious people in WoW don’t read blogs, or at least they don’t read mine so it’s safe to come out.

I’m back to whispers again. Learned my lesson, I’m up to dealing with beggars but that trade chat is way over my pay grade. Took Cat to look for a polearm that might resemble a staff a little more closely and I see she needs about 85 more JP to get a nice belt. Hopefully we’ll manage to do that before the expansion where it will be back to quest greens again. She wants to spend the rest of this one looking like a girl for a change.

So yeah, I’ll continue to talk here in global trade chat, but in-game … hell no … that’s for the big dogs and I’m just a shy, little, chihuahua puppy.

Gone Fishing

Posted in General WoW with tags , on July 27, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

It’s just me here, there’s not a lot I can do without her and she’s in another one of her moods. That leaves me nothing to do but fish and go broke trying to find a belt for this outfit. She’s been talking about joining Döra but I see she’s pre-purchased Mists so I’d say she’s conflicted.

What is it this time? If someone says something negative to her she tends to embrace it wholeheartedly, whether it’s true or not and …

Yeah, you can imagine how much wallowing she does as a result of playing WoW. So while she was all covered in mud moping, she read a spam and she acted like it was a message from the gods delivered personally by their oracle, aka spammer and she had an epiphany.

“Everything posted made a bunch of sense. However, think about this, what if you added a little content? I mean, I don’t wish to tell you how to run your website, however what if you added a headline that makes people desire more? I mean It’s Tyrande, Cymre be Prepared! Tome of the Ancient is a little vanilla. You ought to peek at Yahoo’s front page and watch how they create article titles to get people interested. You might try adding a video or a picture or two to get readers interested about everything’ve got to say. In my opinion, it could make your posts a little livelier.”

She realized she’s been chattering away for close to two year about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I’d say that’s a feat in itself but she didn’t see it that way. She said the blog was a stupid gallimaufry of junk with only that one shining SWTOR speeder vendor moment, oh and surprisingly someone called Raquel Welch does a brisk business but that’s it.

No guides, no how to make a million gold, no heroic Gazoongahyde downed. Nothing. Zip. So yeah, she’s in a big WoW/blog snit. Boo hoo. All I can say is that it makes my life bloody difficult and I wish she were capable of growing thicker skin but hey, she’s the class I picked, so I’m stuck.

So while I wait for her to get over her blog crisis I’m left with nothing to do but things like Argent Tournament dailies to get a belt I thought would work with this skirt but doesn’t. And fish.

Playing a real life human gets so tedious sometimes, I think I might roll something else. Are there any Elves on that side?

The Quest for The Kilt of the Forgotten One

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on July 23, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Since Cat made it pretty clear she HAD TO HAVE the Kilt of the Forgotten One because she’s tired of always having to wear those hot leather pants, we made ready to assault heroic Ahn’kahet. I didn’t know if her gear would be up to it but I needn’t have worried, it was fine. Volazj even coughed up a lovely skirt, just the wrong one. Okay, I guess we’ll have a new daily.

When I say it was fine, it was, up to a point. I decided to investigate and see if I could somehow avoid that troika of bosses before Herald Volazj. I knew Amanitar was optional but what about Elder Nadox, Prince Taldaram and Jedoga Shadowseeker. Prince Taldaram was the one I was hoping to avoid. It wasn’t hard, it was extremely undignified and degrading to endure laying there with a big, bare, bear butt stuck in the air while that pervert Prince did WHATEVER that was he was doing. Holy bejeebers! What is wrong with that man!

I found this great video entitled, How To: Get To Herald Volazj In 2 Minutes. Yay! That’s the ticket! If I’m going to spend months doing this I just want to get straight to the guy with the kilt. I studied it and armed with my new found knowledge headed out to The Old Kingdom where I would sneakily avoid the first three bosses.

I’m going to have to watch that video again to see what I missed. I spent nearly an hour trying to replicate what they did. I managed to hop up and walk along that tiny ledge to the position where you could jump off and go behind a pillar just fine. But when I jumped off I always landed in a pit and it frequently DCed me to boot. I could have killed 30 bosses in the time I took trying to avoid three. Finally gave up on it and faced the fact that I was going to have suck it up and go visit that pervert again.

I couldn’t believe it, it dropped the second time! We don’t ever have to face that debauched, deviant prince again! I didn’t even take screen shots as I thought I’d have plenty of time. I don’t have to go back, but I might. It’s still bothering me that I couldn’t figure out How To: Get To Herald Volazj In 2 Minutes. It’s like a puzzle I can’t solve. If I figure it out I’ll spare his life though. After he was kind enough to give me what I wanted so nicely, seems rude to repay him like that. I guess I’ll just wave.

Postless Screen Shot, a Confession and a Kilt

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on July 20, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

I had this whole post ready. I wrote it a few days ago and when I reread it I hated it. I just deleted it but I liked the screen shot so I left that. I know! What in the world is Cat doing in that ridiculous T-shirt, and she doesn’t even seemed concerned about the terrible lack of sanitation in the Dwarf quarter. Bodies everywhere. We’ll never know. Probably just as well.

I know it looks like I’m stalling here, but really I’ll get to the confession right after I show you this, promise. I was trying to trim down my bookmarks and found this. I have no idea how I got to it, but I know why I keep it. It’s probably a totally inappropriate response, but every time I see that dog I can’t stop laughing. Doubt I’d do the same in person. For all I know I did a whole post about it a year and a half ago and just don’t remember.

So anyway, I have a confession to make. One day chatting with Navi, she said she’d seen that I’d visited. I meant to ask how, because that means Blogger bloggers have way more special powers than we WordPress ones do. I didn’t tell her what I was doing but I’m going to come clean now. In the morning with coffee I read the posts that are emailed, and then the ones that come through the reader. But the rest of the day I use Navi’s blog roll because it’s fancy and shows who has updated since I was last there. OMG! I know, so wrong! I’m sorry. I’m nothing more than a blogroll poacher. I’m ashamed, but there it is. I feel so much better now that I’ve owned up.

Now that my conscious is clear I can move on to Cat. Besides prancing around Stormwind in a T-Shirt that’s way too small for her, she’s been expanding her bucket list. She was digging around in the bank and found those giant Lunar-Claw Pauldrons and is trying to come up with an outfit to go with them. That’s all well and good but it’s been my experience that she decides she likes a piece of gear and we go wherever it’s rumored to be, get whacked repeatedly, over and over and when she gets it and tries it on, it’s never quite right. Just doesn’t look like it did in MogIt and then she vendors it for 3 gold.

Now she’s decided she has to have the Kilt of the Forgotten One. I have visions of being beaten up 158 times like the Anzu missions. And really, I think the kilt is lovely. I know she always envies the Warlocks their gowns and would like, for once, to wear a skirt. I’m hoping if I do go along with this whole thing she’ll come to her senses about the shoulders. Okay wait, a picture’s worth a bazillion words or whatever.

See what I’m saying? I look at those shoulders with that kilt and it’s not working. She’s taking all the things in her bank she likes and she trying to mash them together in one outfit and I don’t think it’s going to work, but that’s just me. We’ll see. Maybe if I tell her the Thoriumweave Cloak goes perfect with the kilt she’ll give in on those shoulders.

But really, my biggest concern now it that I’m going to wake up in the morning and decide I hate this post too. Just to be safe I’m going to stick this in here. Who in their right mind would delete Monty Python. Well that, and because WordPress has finally seen fit to let an animated gif … animate. So yay, let the celebration begin!

Fiscal Responsibility and Voices from Beyond

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on July 19, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

First, you really have to be careful what you type. As a result of mentioning coconuts the other day I now have a coconut hangover. This has been playing in my head ever since … put the lime in the coconut and … STOP!

Anyway, in a shocking display of fiscal irresponsibility Druid has gone and done it. She finally snapped and purchased the Orb of Deception. Admittedly she’s wanted it for a long time, but after the whole 30,000 gold for the Vial of the Sands mats thing I had said, that’s it no more spending. She said it was such a deal she couldn’t pass it up.

And I do have to admit she changed into a lovely Forsaken. There she is trading cookie recipes with a guard. I don’t know what her problem is, she has totally filled one of her bags with devices that allow her to change into someone or something else. She must be having some sort of Druid identity crisis.

Anyway, I was reading my spam, and yes I actually read most of it. It entertains me. Most of it’s boring praise which is kinda a big giveaway that it’s spam. Stuff like this:

very useful content. thanks.

please keep the good and creative ideas coming

these kind of articles really help me.

great articles and stylish website

congratulations for the good work

Yeah right, that just proves you didn’t read it. Then you have the somewhat more creative spammers. The ones that insult you, I don’t know how they think that will work but at least they’re trying. I’ll give them a C+ for being inventive and not going the whole, “good job” route.

i’m sorry but i think you should improve the organization of the website.

Well so do I but it’s very unlikely to happen, thanks for your advice.

You need to really control the responses at this website

ROTFL!! I know, because all of my commenters are so out of control!

Once in a while you get a carrot cake, and once in a while you get a … I don’t know … something. I think this might be a communique from the Old Gods. I’m still trying to decipher it. I’ll have to go to the Stormwind Library and see if I can find some books that might help me translate it. Maybe you can help.

Attractive section of content material. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire truly enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I will likely be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently swiftly.

I’m kind of stumped at the moment. What the hell IS accession capital anyway? And don’t you even THINK about touching my augment!

Fenris US, You have Arrived!

Posted in Silly with tags , , on July 18, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yes Fenris! It’s official! Our credentials have been scrutinized. The sighting has been investigated and authenticated. It’s official. Fenris is now authorized by the Navi-One board of officials. We can now proudly display our seal. We have had a Navimie VISITATION!

I’m a little worried, I hope the requests for official visits from the governments of servers all over the world don’t overwhelm Navi. State visits can be so time consuming and interfere with those important day-to-day tasks like exterminating those foxes. It will probably be okay. She’s not only the Rhyming Queen, she’s also the Multitasker Supreme!

Frightened by a Real Life Coconut

Posted in Silly with tags on July 17, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

I know some people think some of my faces are scary. No, not THIS ONE. The digital ones I make. You know. But just now I was literally terrified! Sweet Elune! I go to Matty’s blog to have a nice read and what do I see. AND IT CAN NOT BE UNSEEN!  I’m going to have nightmares! AAAAAHHHHH! What manner of beast it that!

I thought she was surely kidding but on googling “coconut crab” I found she wasn’t. Apparently we don’t need to spend a bazillion dollars making movies with scary creatures CAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY HERE! Okay, just calm down. Take a breath. Maybe go login somewhere safe. Yeah, I’m pretty sure they don’t have anything that horrible in Azeroth, I’ll be safe there.

When There’s Nothing to Say …

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on July 17, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Take screen shots! So that’s what I’ve been doing. Absolutely none of my characters seem in the mood to do anything other than faff. And thank you Godmother for that fine addition to my vocabulary, I’ve been confounding my dog on walks. The walks are supposed to be for exercise but he treats them as a smell sniffing adventure and he can get stuck on one blade of grass for five minutes. He’s totally confused by my command to stop faffing about. He’s a quick study though, so he’ll get it soon.

Anyway, Sasche seems to be the worst offender right now. She logs in, remembers she should do the Molten Front dailies, and then displays a shocking lack of commitment by heading to the Gallywix Pleasure Palace instead. She said it was research because of something she read at Ironyca Stood in the Fire but that doesn’t look like research to me.

And what’s this? The Goblin Mage is on the move again? Anything to do with 10 to 85? Could be, time will tell. Leveling her is kind of like doing an Ironman Challenge for me, so that makes it interesting. The quest To the Rescue is still bugged so it’s off to Hillsbrad to dig up heads and visit Johnny Awesome for her.

I think Cat’s mounting frustration with those ogres stems from the fact that she has all those Apexis Crystals and nothing to spend them on. She likes to shop. She was a little happier when she saw that cloak so she bought it in case she ever needs a nice gold-trimmed cloak for an outfit. That ought to get a few more dailies out of her.

Cat’s other pursuits right now include money-making schemes. She doesn’t like grinding mats much unless I put on VERY loud Rammstein and Deadmau5. It has to be loud enough to vibrate the keyboard. Oh, and then she has to be supplied with Potions of Treasure Finding and finally she’ll do it. Very high maintenance cat.

It’s always interesting to see what I’ve got in my screen shot folder. I’m not sure why I thought taking a shot of Cat’s behind underwater would be the thing to do, but I must have. It’s like a lucky dip, just open it up and hope for a great prize! Doesn’t always work though.

So she gets back to town to mail off what she’d gathered to the appropriate recipients. There was a well dressed Worgen standing there and I sneezed over here and then said excuse me. Out loud. In this world. Does anyone else do that? I also noticed if someone whispers me I turn down the volume if I have music on. I mean I KNOW they can’t hear stuff over here, but on some level it just seems rude not to do it.

Well, I guess that’s it. Nothing but more cat butts left. Neuroteca the Mage is very excited about meeting Johnny Awesome, so she’ll probably take endless shots of him. That’s fine, I just draw the line at infested bears, I mean it Mage, do not go there.

The More Things Change …

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on July 15, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Yep. I decided I needed a change of scenery and what do I do? The same thing, I fish. I’ll relate to you my LOTRO wandering. And I do mean wandering, I don’t know why my pace slows down so much there. I’m not rushing to get things done like I do in WoW. Maybe it’s the music.

I had to let go of the whole “she’s an omnipotent being that can’t be killed” thing at level 10. I’m playing without knowing ANYTHING on purpose, to sort of regain that lovely noob glow. You occasionally run into NPCs and beasts with fancy nameplates. I’d been killing them all with no problem but I ran across a boar who snorted on me about three times and then I was dead. Oops, level 15 fancy nameplate is apparently her omnipotence ceiling.

I’ve been gathering, gathering, gathering, with the hope of selling it all and becoming a trade princess of LOTRO. Imagine my horror on finding out I had to spend real money to list the stuff, to make fake money. My career choices may have been an error I now see.

I also didn’t know what a fellowship was, one popped up asking me to join it, which I did. Then I worried that I’d just joined a guild without knowing it, but thankfully it was just a group. The person didn’t type anything so I just followed along. In WoW I tend to lose patience with this kind of behavior but here I didn’t mind just tagging along to see where they were going. It seems LOTRO improves my disposition, lol. Still enjoying it.

On the WoW front I’m getting a little worried. I’ve been spending an unhealthy amount of time staring at this page at Ysera’s Daughter. I’ve exhibited this kind of behavior before. Back before Cata I would hang around blogs that outlined the process of getting The Insane title. Just casually looking. Just looking. WHAT! THEY MIGHT DO AWAY WITH IT! OMG! That does it! I need to get it done RIGHT NOW!

I’ve got an 85 Druid, 85 Hunter, 85 Shaman, three 85 Warlocks, 85 Death Knight. Kind of went overboard with those Warlocks. I stupidly deleted a high level Priest and Rogue. So that leaves Warrior, Priest, Rogue, Mage, Paladin. I have a Rogue, Mage and Paladin at various levels. I could … STOP IT! Nah Nah Nah I can’t hear you voice in my head! Geez, reading blogs is dangerous business. I’d better go back to LOTRO and chill. Maybe fish a little.

Long Ago, in a Land Far Far Away

Posted in In Real Life with tags , , on July 14, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

I’ve been enjoying the responses to Ambermist’s July Challenge, There’s Something About You. I wasn’t going to respond because no matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t think of a thing. I’m pretty boring. My mother came over and she had a big, old, manilla folder full of pictures and clippings, pretty much the detritus of my past.

I started looking through it and found an old newspaper clipping. Azeroth is my passion at the moment and has been for about six years. But I looked at the clipping and remembered my first passion. Horses. From the time I was around eleven to the time I was twenty, they were my whole life. I knew I could not live without them.

In a land far away some track PR person thought a few female races would draw in the crowds. I enrolled in the Escuela de Jinetes. I was even given a nickname by the other jockeys. Roughly translated it’s The Girl with the Straight Ahead Nose. Yeah, not as cool as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but you take what you get.

I enjoyed it, but I’m 5 feet 8 inches tall so my career as a jockey went only as far as those PR races. As much as I starved, those horses were still carrying way over their limit, but I can still remember what it felt like the first time the bell rang and we leapt out of that gate.

I continued to compete on my horses in events where my weight wasn’t an issue. I got dinged up a lot. I was teaching a senior class when my back packed it in and said enough. Those poor people in my class had to try to pry me off the horse I was riding because I couldn’t move. So at the ripe old age of twenty I had to hang up my boots.

So there it is, my first love. And yeah, I don’t put my picture up ANYWHERE on the internet but believe me, lol, no one’s ever going to recognize me from that faded picture of sixteen year old me. I really like this picture. We’re almost at the gate, he’s about to put her in the chute. The bell will ring. AND WE WILL FLY.