A Most Heinous WoW Act

We’ve all met WoW jerks, there are unfortunately many to run in to. My Hunter is usually a reserved, quiet, young lady. Always poking around in the back of beyond looking for pets or rare flowers. Yesterday she was ready to jump in the Maw of Madness. I managed to talk her down and asked what was wrong.

She said she got up early and decided to gather flowers. She set off to Uldum and on picking her first flower she was surprised to find nothing but a Lifegiving Seed. She continued on, pickings were slim and on finding another Whiptail there was nothing but one Lifegiving Seed inside. Someone had just been through and left what they didn’t want instead of taking it and later throwing it out. She was livid.

“I wish a curse on them,” she shouted. I asked her what curse. “Um … I don’t really know any,” she replied. So I decided to help her. I started searching for curses that seemed applicable. You know it’s really hard to find good curses. Especially ones for people that take the Whiptail and Volatile Life and just leave the Lifegiving Seed.

The first ones I found were these:

May onions grow in your navel!
May all your teeth fall out except for the one with the toothache!

Yeah, way too silly. This is serious business, this is no laughing matter. I need serious curses here so I kept looking.

Okay! Now we’re talking! Those ancient Egyptians were no slackers in the curse department! Seems appropriate too since it happened in Uldum, but some of them are REALLY harsh.

A donkey shall violate him, a donkey shall violate his wife

Okay, that one’s no good. I don’t really think leaving only the Lifegiving Seed justifies that kind of punishment, yeah, I’m not even going to show her that one, moving on.

He shall die from hunger and thirst

He shall have no heir

His years shall be diminished

His lifetime shall not exist on earth

He shall not exist

His estate shall belong to the fire, and his house shall belong to the consuming flame … His relatives shall detest him

He shall be miserable and persecuted

His office shall be taken away before his face and it shall be given to a man who is his enemy

His wife shall be taken away before his face

His face shall be spat at

His heart shall not be content in life

He shall be cooked together with the condemned

Wow, they did not take tomb robbing lightly. I think these are all a little over the top for the crime. I really only found one I would give her. I don’t know what’s up with this one. Maybe it wasn’t a very important tomb, or the curse guy was having an off day.

I shall seize his neck like that of a goose

Doesn’t really sound that awful, I mean compared to the whole being cooked and donkeys and dying and all.

So there you go, I gave it to her and the last I saw her, she was flying around Uldum yelling, “Lifegiving Seed leaver, where are you? I shall seize your neck like that of a goose!”

Yeah, if you see her just pay her no mind. I like to think of it as herbalist therapy.


24 Responses to “A Most Heinous WoW Act”

  1. ROFLMAO! I hope she finds whoever and does sieze their neck up tightly. I dislike when those ner’-do-well’s only loot the good stuffs.

  2. I am right there with you – you know this is true. I have witnessed this myself, and it’s like finding a roll of toilet paper with one sheet, or an empty milk carton when you’ve taken that first bite of cookie. People are cruel, and deserve this. Maybe the Worgens will take a gypsy-curse business where you can buy one from a vendor and it gets mailed to the offender.

    • OH! It IS just like finding the roll of toilet paper empty! That is a great idea. For people like me who aren’t confrontational enough to call them out in chat I could email my curses. And it would be a great money maker for those Worgen. Win Win!

  3. Well, of all the rude, obnoxious…! (The other guy, of course, not you!)

    • I know, you approach the herb with anticipation, maybe there’ll be a volatile life too, and then just a lifegiving seed. It’s like taking a sip on what you think is milk and getting tea, or vice versa lol.

  4. Give em hell… although I’ve been known to leave a gem or something on nodes before. Only because my bag was full =/

  5. battlechicken Says:

    This shall be the new go-to curse. “I shall seize your neck like that of a goose!” will henceforth be an acceptable battle cry on all fields of war!

    Ooh, the Lifegiving Seed leaver… >.<

  6. May onions grow in your navel!

  7. Testing Comment Tome sorry!
    I’m having issues seeing if its working.

  8. Is it too early for Dalaran Red? Now we know….

  9. Though I know your hunter was cranky, and I should be outraged, is it alright if I laugh at your list of punishments?

  10. “A donkey shall violate him, a donkey shall violate his wife”. I’m feeling bad for the poor donkey.

    • I know! There apparently was no Egyptian S.P.C.A. around back in the day to protect the rights of poor donkeys!

      • the other side of this is that the folks doing these curses were priests. More reason not to get on the wrong side of a priest — be that priest a healie or a face-melter. You cross ’em at your peril. 😉

  11. zwingli Whisperwind Says:

    That is awesome! I guess, “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair” is a little rough as well.

    You found a good one!

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