Archive for August, 2013

Preserved for Posterity

Posted in The Minions' Ball with tags , , , , on August 31, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

minionballOkay … alright, maybe not for posterity but for me. I have a habit of losing things so I thought if I made a category on the blog JUST for this I’d always be able to find it.

The poet, Matty lives here. I know I told her I liked it but I’m not sure she knows HOW MUCH I like it. A really lot. She’s known to frequent coffeehouses in the company of other great poets like the famed Navimie.

I imagine I’ll use this for the link so I don’t have to give my eyes eye migraines trying to read that itty-bitty type. And yeah … posterity? You feel free to use it too.

The Culprit?

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 30, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

cimvaleI know! I know! Especially after the Cynwise post, I know you’re all thinking, “Well stupidhead, you shot yourself in your own WoW foot doing that. No wonder you feel apathetic.” They just couldn’t help it. When they heard the dailies were going away they just HAD to do them. EVERY FREAKING DAY. Even the chance of a Skyshard doesn’t justify this irresponsible behavior.

I don’t know, it’s kinda like the whole Twinkies debacle. I never, ever ate Twinkies or Ho Hos or Sno Balls. Maybe I had some in my school lunch when I was seven but now I eat twigs and berries and all that healthy crap. No Twinkies. When I heard they were going away I raced from store to store to find that LAST BOX. I was compelled.
valequestYES! Even Cat who is older and wiser and should know better. Of course she’s kinda lazy so she only did ones that she could complete without actually landing like Laosy Scouting and Acts of Cruelty where you just have to flap your wings in his face to distract him and then the stupid Mogu just drops his victim. And really, Lao Softfoot should be left in that cage for his own safety, if you let him out Cat, he’ll just go and get caught again. Don’t encourage him.

So yeah. Stupid, stupid move on my part. This morning when I logged in I found I’d made another mistake. Cat was moving around like a gerbil on meth, bashing into things. Out of control. WTF?

mycharrTotally her fault. For three or four days I’ve only been playing GW2. I apparently grew used to the movement speed of GW2. At first it seemed I was moving under water or through molasses. I’m a mouse turner and in GW2 it seems excruciatingly slow compared to WoW. I must have adjusted and Cat paid the price. I’ll have to remember to at least login and run around once a day to avoid bashing her into the walls in the shrine. She was embarrassed but I pointed out that only the Blingtron sitting there saw her.

Yup. Probable culprit of my recent WoW ennui … Golden Lotus Dailies. Embarrassing really, all this whining and here it was right in front of my face. I should have learned this lesson from the return of the Twinkies. Did I run out to get them when they made their comeback? Oh, hell no I didn’t. I don’t want them. Sort of like Golden Lotus Dailies before they were going away … /facepalm

Deja Vu All Over Again

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 29, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

ashOh hai … yes it’s me … why? Anyway after some thought I decided if I was going to go awol maybe my last post sitting around for who knows how long shouldn’t be about poop. Oh yeah … Tome of the Ancient, I remember her, she wrote about poop. Yeah … no.

I’ve been starting posts and then getting the feeling it seems kinda familiar. So I check and damn … I already wrote about that. I think this is 500th postitis. I’m so close but it’s cheating if I already said it. So I THINK this is new stuff.

Redbeard was talking about the dress code in GW2. It is so true, I checked and my Necromancer is wearing a little short skirt that just does not scream evil, soul-draining NECROMANCER. I thought I’d take a visit as I hadn’t played for close to a year. I’d forgotten how to play her and then got stuck in Divinity’s Reach and couldn’t find my way out so decided to start anew. I had a plan to defeat the dress code and it worked.

I made a female Charr and I see they don’t bother putting Charr in short frilly dresses. There, she looks like a proper Necromancer. I’m having fun, I seem to spend most of my time here crawling around and jumping trying to reach the vistas, I don’t seem to make much forward progress but that’s fine.

Hi Ashmara Steeltail! I’ll try not to abandon you for a year but I wouldn’t count on it, I have a bad track record. Just letting you know.

Whew, good. I know I never said any of that before.

On pondering what has put me in a WoW snit I remembered about the last thing I did was get killed about four times in a row by Proboskus. I had thought my time in the Brawler’s Ring would be limited because of my lowly iLevel 496 gear. I was wrong. It’s ME! I can not for the life of me stay out of the freaking drops of rain. YES! Defeated by RAIN DROPS. So demoralizing. It probably was the last straw. Well, until the patch anyway.

There that’s new too.

Okay, I thought I’d take a look at search terms, they’re new and fresh! Not. Not even enough for a “Ask the Ancient” post. There were only two that were mildly interesting. First was hairy panties hoes. I’m not even going there.

Next was hairy panty china. OH! I did not know that. Maybe I’d like a set. So I did a quick check at Amazon to see if they had them. What luck! They carry them!

pantyhosechinaThey’re lovely! I must order mine, I wonder if they come with mugs or cups. So excited.

Oh … and I’ve also become nostalgic for the olden days of blogs. I’ve been reading old posts from a year or so ago. It apparently wasn’t enough to miss the old Darkshore, now I’m doing the same thing, just with the blogs I read. I know! Geez, snap out of it.

Welp … that’s it then. I am almost positive I’ve never said any of this stuff before. I’m good to go. And oh … Ash isn’t that ugly. She’s wearing a scary mask to frighten you. Not sure if it’s scarier than the short frilly party dress but you work with what you’ve got.

A Tribute to the Poop Quest

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on August 23, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

yawnALRIGHT! Geez Cat, stop it! You know I hate aquatic form. I think we pretty well established the other day that my problem is I find my posts have become boring. I read some of my old posts and they weren’t that bad. What the hell happened? Okay, I’ll try harder … let me think a minute.

OH! I know! I got a poop quest on my dog walk this morning. Yeah, talk about virtual life spilling over into real life. Kinda creepy, but it happened.

As my dog has aged he’s become afflicted with immediate poop attacks, he has to go RIGHT NOW and he drags me to what he perceives is the ONLY acceptable location. I’ve never figured out what this is based on, probably smell.

This morning he drags me … yes, 90 pounds of dog is stronger than mumble mumble pounds of me. But he drags me up on to a lawn … a manicured lawn … on to a slight rise. Kinda where, if these people were the pink flamingo type, they’d place it. Making this worse is that they’ve just added an invisible dog fence and we are now encroaching their territory. Well, we more than encroached … we invaded.

The quest begins. Get that poop picked up before they see me. I whip out the poop bag! I’m in position!

buttIt’s a re-creation. Not my dog, not my scrawny-assed butt, this one’s much nicer … just cause I like you. Anyway, I hardly EVER see these people. Once in a while on the weekend but that’s about it. This will be cake. HURRY UP! I hear a car approaching. Won’t be them though, I’ve NEVER seen them out this early, they’re retired. They don’t go driving around at ridiculous hours. They don’t have to.

I’m about to nail this quest when I hear the car slow for the turn. I’m still in position finishing up the pickup when they roll up their driveway. Seeing me or rather my butt. Quest failed.

What I found the worst was WHAT WERE THE ODDS! Twenty four hours in a day and RLRNG picks this moment to have them drive up to see my butt in a lawn ornament-worthy spot on their lawn! I thought in-game RNG sucked but apparently RLRNG is EVEN WORSE.

Oh … just so you won’t miss any, cause you know you don’t want to, here’s a list of epic WoW poop quests that I can remember. I don’t doubt there are more out there.

WoW Poop Quests

A Rare Bean

Scare the Guano Out of Them!

Lupus Pupus

Doing Your Duty

Addition courtesy of Euphyley of WoW Rare Spawn Guide

Shizz Work

Soundtrack suggestion courtesy of Redbeard of Parallel Context


Posted in General WoW with tags , , on August 22, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

catvisitOn maintenance day this week, Cat came to real life to visit. I’m not sure why she did, she spent most of her time playing in the yard with the dogs. When she was leaving she said it was good to see me. Really? We hardly spoke, what’s up?

Um … er … it’s ah … geez, alright, the thing is you’re boring. I mean I like you and all but … yeah, boring. Sheesh Cat, that’s awful harsh. We’ve been doing lots of exciting things. Like … like … Oh I know!

bmahstuffWe’ve been closely monitoring all the exciting things for sale on the BMAH, all the wonderful, highly sought things of … oh … well, forget that. Never mind that. Let’s see. OH! OH! I’ve got one!

bestfriendJust this morning Cim did A Second Hand. While I know she just did the quest to get rid of the annoying question mark over the shrine thingy. See, that’s exciting! She has a best friend, only one but it’s a start. She’s not very well socialized so I’m thrilled about the one, it’s progress.


Now you’re really starting to tick me off Cat. Well what can YOU tell us, how about you come up with tales of heady feats for a change?

Um, let’s see. I know the Warlocks have been doing Onyxia and the whole time they run around yelling, “MORE DOTS!” More weird I guess than exciting, I have no idea why they’re yelling that.

Well what have you been doing Cat? What astonishing adventures have you been on lately?

redcarpAnd you’re calling me boring?

Yeah, but I want the Red Carp and the stupid Crawling Claw. I’ve dug up the Sketch of a Desert Palace something like sixty consecutive times. My luck’s gotta be breaking any time now.

One can only hope. Okay, let’s go back to Townlong Steppes and try for your Tiny Carp while we wait for the patch.

uldumnnAfter that, I’ve notified the Azeroth Postal Services that we will be in residence here for the next two weeks or until that damn elusive Crawling Claw is ours.

We’ll be boring together.

Looking Back Down the Long Road

Posted in General WoW, WoW Reminiscing with tags , , , on August 19, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

lokrunWatching my Shaman run to the mailbox brought a memory back from long ago. For a moment … just a moment, the excitement and thrill of seeing a Draenei Shaman in wolf form was just as bright as it had been the very first time. My Hunter was traveling the roads of Ashenvale when two wolves flashed by her. I think The Burning Crusade had been out a mere 24 hours. This may have been the start of my altoholism, I knew I must have a Draenei Shaman.

My Draenei Shaman is retired now. She does what’s required to get to the level cap and then finds a nice spot to make jewelery and scribe.

I sometimes wonder how exhausting it must be to try to keep ahead of us while we voraciously consume content like a swarm of virtual locusts. I know I’m usually alone when I sometimes do Golden Lotus dailies in the hope I might get lucky and get a Skyshard and on the Isle of Thunder it’s just me and my bud Al’tabim.

I felt extremely lucky to find a group who wanted to do the world bosses over the weekend, the usual response on my server when trying to get a group going is, who needs iLevel 496 gear. So while some still want to do them to … DO THEM, others apparently do them exclusively for gear, then stop. There is a wide range of play styles and I always wonder what kind of thinking goes on over how to, at least try, to make everybody happy. It is a business and not addressing the issues of half your customers is no way to make … you know … money.

Anyway … not my problem, but I don’t envy them.

While traveling my road of nostalgia I saw Nixxiom published a new video.

I love it. Demons still walk this land.

Whelp … time to go back to moping around the Vale of Eternal Blossoms taking screen shots for that time when it too is just a beautiful memory.


The Problem with The Isle of Thunder

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 17, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

poolsideI hate to sound ungrateful … I really love the Isle of Thunder, it’s a great place for Sasche to try out her new spec but something’s lacking. It really needs some beachfront accommodations. Doesn’t have to be fancy … just some cabins would do. She could get a room and live on the beach until she hits 9,999 bones.

She could be in for an extended stay as SOMEONE keeps buying Spectral Porcupettes with her bones so it would be nice to have somewhere to stay on the Isle. So yeah … not complaining but just want to put that out there in case any developers were pondering doing so. Go for it.

I read the post Cynwise wrote on cognitive fatigue, as always it was compelling reading but for some reason what I took away from it was a GREAT NEED to get Dots for my iPad. Yeah, I don’t know what that’s about either. I don’t know, searching for inner peace or something. So I go to the app store and I’m told my iOS is too old. GEEZ, can’t anything ever be easy.

So I decided to update for which I’d need the cable that came with the iPad. Almost my ENTIRE day was spent searching for this legendary cable. Dammit! There’s no such thing, I’ve looked everywhere, there’s nothing but the cable I use to charge  the … iPad … oh. By the time I updated and restored everything and then went and got Dots I really NEEDED inner peace.

Then to relax I browsed blogs. HAHAHA! My Warlocks loved Anou’s post at Diary of a Gnome Spy, they wanted to congratulate her on being a truly evil, evily, evilest Warlock! They wanted to salute her. But nooooo … once again Blogger refused us entry. Okay, it says you can use your Google Account. Great! Nope. When I did that it wanted me to sign up for a Blogger account. I’ve just about had it with you technology. You have driven me to the breaking point. I may go outside. I may TRIM SHRUBBERY. So there. Stupid little technology.

flamingsasOh wait! Sasche learned some more stuff about Destruction Warlocking. Another use for those ember thingies. Get three of them and then fly around scaring the crap out of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders! See, I’m really learning this Destro stuff!

Brain Vapor Lock Lifted!

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on August 15, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

easymoneyYeah, this picture has nothing to do with the post, It’s all that’s left of a post I deleted but as usual I didn’t want to lose the screen shot so I’ll title it, “Money for Nothin’ and Chicks for Free” and you can make up your own story.

Yesterday my brain just vapor locked in Azeroth which is certainly preferable to when it happens irl which on occasion it does. There are no Spirit Healers irl so it’s risky business indeed. I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to Matty, Lyss, Tyledres and Cain. I have no idea AT ALL why I was being so stupid. I don’t send my Demonology Warlock out to do dailies equipped with a Wrathlord so I have no idea why I sent out the newbie Destruction Warlock equipped with an Observer. Thankfully you all stopped me before I set out to battle dinosaurs with that no account blob.

When Sasche and I arrived on the dino island and followed the instructions from Lyss it all just fell into place and I GOT IT! Hey, this is fun! I can’t wait to visit my buddy Al’tabim the valor machine All-Seeing and get an idea how it compares to Demonology because I hit him up for valor all the time, he’s such a friend.

And I refuse to be silenced by Blogger, I keep trying to comment on Tyledres’ post and Blogger is refusing me entry. So I just wanted to say I hope they get to the bottom of it. I do the same thing! My husband says you can hold a conversation with me when I’m asleep which is kinda funny but the bad part is I also wander around while asleep. Geez, I’m glad I don’t have to put up with me. And don’t forget to eat! So there Blogger!

twinsLastly, after Kam commented that the Robe of Doan was worn by Warlock trainers in Stormwind I just had to visit and get a shot of her with her old teachers. I’m sure they had quite a nice reminisce about when she used to throw flaming spit balls in class. I’m pretty sure she logged some serious time in detention.

Thank you all, you fine purveyors of Destruction!

Warlock Changing Horses Midstream

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 14, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

midstreamCome on Sasche you can do it, take that first step. Yorik Sharpeye is sitting there watching you, do you want him to think you’re a chicken Warlock, just jump in!

Yeah, Sasche’s been through some hard times. First Cim the Warlock stole her weapon and she was reduced to begging an old one from the Klaxxi in case she got jumped hanging around Orgrimmar and had to defend herself. Now that she convinced my Scribe to make her a new one more trouble struck. That would be me.

Since Destruction is supposed to be all that and more let’s respec! Won’t that be fun! Well, so far … not so much. First she’s having a hard time bonding with that … ah … drooling blob. She can’t even seem to get his name straight, I told her to just call him Rogg and don’t worry. I’m not sure he knows the difference.

One of the reasons she had been collecting dust was the dearth of Horde players on my server. I went to buy her appropriate Destruction glyphs and … no glyphs. No people, no glyphs. So to make it up to her I saw Jade Spirit for sale so bought her that. There, that should be a moral booster! Right Sasche? Right?

So off we go to test out our destro prowess and oh no! Stuff was trying to get her! Ow! Sheesh, that fat drooling blog is no Voidlord he appears to have no sense of loyalty, it’s kinda every man for himself. What? Am I supposed to cast while running away? I feel like a Mage and THAT was disastrous. I must be missing something here.

I found quite a few guides, Saga’s got a really nice one but I’m still kinda of going, wait? Where? What? Is it possible I’m going to have to start from level 1 to grasp Destruction? And no, really, it’s not just an excuse to start another alt. Is it my destiny to be a purple demon and purple demon only?

I’m not giving up yet, I think it’s time for some tough love Sasche. I’m going to plonk you down on Dinosaur Isle until you get it right. It’s for your own good. You have to get this because I’m not paying to reforge you back to Demo. Just not. It’s sink or swim time. Get swimming.

I am a Boss, Hear me RAWR!

Posted in Silly with tags , , , on August 12, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

meanieIn certain circles irl I’m not known as Cat or Tome or Ancient. I’m known as Mimi. All the other traditional terms were already taken so yeah … I’m Mimi. At my mother’s birthday celebration yesterday, my six year old granddaughter proclaimed that she was going to be a chef when she grew up. This little one does not eat, she appears to live solely on oxygen. It’s a constant concern of her mother’s and mine too. The ONLY thing she will usually even consider consuming is bacon, yep, bacon. Birthday cake? Nope, just … bacon.

So  I told her I thought that was unlikely as how would she know what her dishes taste like as she wouldn’t try them. Oh dear … this caused the lamentations of the small, tiny, angry woman.

“You are NOT Mimi!” “You’re name is MEANIE!” MEANIE THE DREAMBREAKER, that’s who you are!”

Oh geez, she’s got a point there, I remember telling my daughter she couldn’t grow up to be a tree.

Okay, well I had to try to cheer her up but it’s hard when you’re rolling around on the floor … you know … LMAO.

So I told her I might be wrong after some thought, I thought she would indeed be a great, well known chef. She would come to be known throughout the land as the GREAT CHEF BACÓN. I mean not just a stupid regular O bacon but a fancy Ó chef.

So I continued to yell, CHEF BACÓN loudly and with a phony French accent repeatedly and that did the trick. Being somewhat mollified now, she agreed to at least eat a multiple vitamin. I know, but it’s something.

But now I’m quite excited, I’m sure Blizzard will be contacting me any time now for an audition! I just know it! They’ll want the dreaded Meanie the Dreambreaker boss in the next expansion!

Let’s see … it could be about the Emerald Dream gone horribly wrong. Previously good, kind Druids go bonkers and roam the land leaving death and destruction in their wake.Yes! Yes! That’ll work!

FEAR ME! FEAR ME! All will fall before MEANIE THE DREAMBREAKER … well, until a raid comes and kills me but still, I’m so excited, I’ve got to go practice my roar.