A Tribute to the Poop Quest
ALRIGHT! Geez Cat, stop it! You know I hate aquatic form. I think we pretty well established the other day that my problem is I find my posts have become boring. I read some of my old posts and they weren’t that bad. What the hell happened? Okay, I’ll try harder … let me think a minute.
OH! I know! I got a poop quest on my dog walk this morning. Yeah, talk about virtual life spilling over into real life. Kinda creepy, but it happened.
As my dog has aged he’s become afflicted with immediate poop attacks, he has to go RIGHT NOW and he drags me to what he perceives is the ONLY acceptable location. I’ve never figured out what this is based on, probably smell.
This morning he drags me … yes, 90 pounds of dog is stronger than mumble mumble pounds of me. But he drags me up on to a lawn … a manicured lawn … on to a slight rise. Kinda where, if these people were the pink flamingo type, they’d place it. Making this worse is that they’ve just added an invisible dog fence and we are now encroaching their territory. Well, we more than encroached … we invaded.
The quest begins. Get that poop picked up before they see me. I whip out the poop bag! I’m in position!
It’s a re-creation. Not my dog, not my scrawny-assed butt, this one’s much nicer … just cause I like you. Anyway, I hardly EVER see these people. Once in a while on the weekend but that’s about it. This will be cake. HURRY UP! I hear a car approaching. Won’t be them though, I’ve NEVER seen them out this early, they’re retired. They don’t go driving around at ridiculous hours. They don’t have to.
I’m about to nail this quest when I hear the car slow for the turn. I’m still in position finishing up the pickup when they roll up their driveway. Seeing me or rather my butt. Quest failed.
What I found the worst was WHAT WERE THE ODDS! Twenty four hours in a day and RLRNG picks this moment to have them drive up to see my butt in a lawn ornament-worthy spot on their lawn! I thought in-game RNG sucked but apparently RLRNG is EVEN WORSE.
Oh … just so you won’t miss any, cause you know you don’t want to, here’s a list of epic WoW poop quests that I can remember. I don’t doubt there are more out there.
WoW Poop Quests
Addition courtesy of Euphyley of WoW Rare Spawn Guide
Soundtrack suggestion courtesy of Redbeard of Parallel Context
August 23, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Hahaha, gotta love the poop quests. The titles are great too. 🙂
Don’t forget this one from Outland! I always though it was pretty gross hehe: Shizz Work
August 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm
I knew there must be more. I will add that to the list, thanks Euph! We must archive all that is precious, lol!
August 23, 2013 at 1:11 pm
HAHAHA! That’s funny! I like how you used “RLRNG.”
August 23, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Yeah, my RLRNG isn’t any better than my in-game RNG apparently. They must be linked somehow!
August 23, 2013 at 1:24 pm
What’s that? I hear Sir Mix-a-Lot playing?
August 23, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Oh wow! You’re right, it needs a sound track! I’ll get on that, lol!
August 23, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Haha! Don’t worry, I’m sure they were just glad that you were cleaning up instead of leaving it there for them. LOL
August 23, 2013 at 1:36 pm
I’m lucky they’re dog people so hopefully understand that sometimes you just gotta go!
August 23, 2013 at 1:38 pm
I fear that I have become boring as well. Unfortunately poo + RNG is a different discussion when it comes to cats, which may cause any post I make on the subject to be less entertaining.
August 23, 2013 at 1:46 pm
Maybe we’re all just boring ourselves and hopefully not others. You’re not boring me! The last cat we had decided at one point to eschew the use of a litter box. I loved him but trying to put little cat diapers on him for the rest of his long life kind of soured me on another cat. I have my fingers crossed the dogs don’t get any ideas.
August 23, 2013 at 10:25 pm
I envy your dog’s ability. I think it was his way of saying FU to invisible fences! NICE! I SHALL NOT BE CONTAINED! Sorry – channeling boss fight voice overs. Anyway. Thank you for all the ways to get down and dirty. I hope this is the end of this, and you’ve wiped the slate clean, and flushed your blues away. You’re on a roll, though, so hopefully this will get the pipes of creativity flowing freely again.
Okay. I’m done.
Oh, and in aquatic form get the orca whale glyph: it’s beautiful.
August 24, 2013 at 6:54 am
LOL! I hope so, it’s hard to get to 500 posts if you keep deleting them before you publish. I know he’s such a scofflaw, I will poop where no dog has gone before!
August 25, 2013 at 11:01 am
LOL I like this post! Poop quests glorified! Only you can get away with that Ancient 🙂
August 25, 2013 at 11:37 am
It’s like I play WoW so much the quests are following me into the real world! I hope I don’t meet a boss on the dog walk, lol.