Blog Lurker Recidivism

jailI’ve been writing posts coming on three years soon. Before that … I was a lurker. Yes … a WoW blog lurker. When I started posting it wasn’t scary as I knew no one was reading them but me. I entertained myself with posts about my dog. I got a comment! And I see that while I’ve been talking about my dogs and yelling about crap, my first commenter has written a whole book! Must remember to look into that.

Anyway, I piddled along for another year or so. I replied to my commenters … I became a replier. A baby step forward. Then came an event that changed everything. Blog Azeroth Thanksgiving Event. I had to get a Twitter account, YIKE! Okay, I’m still crappy at Twitter, but still it was a start.

I started commenting, ON BLOGS OTHER THAN MINE. I made lots of WoW friends which was the whole point of this exercise. I chatted without a care in the world. I wasn’t a lurky LURKER anymore. Nobody cared that I’m a friend of run-on sentences and totally eschew grammar and punctuation. There was no judging. I felt at home.

Recently an event irl depressed me. I thought I would feel relieved when it happened but I didn’t. Go figure … even I don’t understand me. I’d be the first to admit I have a fragile psyche but what I don’t understand was why this event knocked me back briefly into blog lurker land.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY STUPID, JUST SHUT UP! Yeah, I do self-loathing real well. I felt like this.

oopsAnd the very WORST thing is … LOOK AT THAT GUY! Not a hesitation … not a glance … NOTHING while she goes down in flames … okay water. Yeah … nobody cares … boo hoo … nobody cares …

I deleted posts … here’s a picture.

stormcupI totally lost my nerve. I hung out in places like this trying to get my mojo back. I know! Pathetic.

But an inquiry came from one of my blogging friends. Was everything alright? It wasn’t, but I lied … I know, I’m awful but the thing is her concern is what turned things slowly around. I love her for that.

I have met so many kind and caring people in the WoW community who MORE than compensate for the in-game ratbastards. So yeah … you’ve been warned. I may be commenting again. Saying stupid things that no one cares about that I don’t care about whether anyone cares about … come on, you know what I mean.

27 Responses to “Blog Lurker Recidivism”

  1. Wondered why I had not seen you around lately. Yes, as a fellow lurker, it can be nice to fall back into the old comfort patterns when something throws you for a loop.

  2. *hugs* We all lurk occasionally 🙂 Hope everything gets better soon

  3. You are the reason Mrs. Whitworth is very, VERY annoyed with me now. And that is a good thing. She has been stuck in her next plot for months now, and reminds me not too gently that there is a wonderful person named Tome out there who would like to see her move to the next chapter! We don’t know how we affect people unless we tell them: you rock, Tome. There. I said it!

  4. (And the coffee cup may be my new desktop wallpaper)

  5. well, if it makes any difference, I glad you posted about it. I thought it only affected me.

    I, too, am like you. It could be the different meds, it could be “my little friend in me head”, but I do the same – delete posts, murder de English, remove my comments, don’t post, don’t believe I have a thing to say, but the difference is you do have folks who read your blog. I still just solo thru WOW, don’t care to chat to, to anyone – a “Stay away from my jello”, type of person.

    I just hope it wasn’t anything I said or wrote.

    But Tome, please do remember, you are loved. One can see it from your many many fans, fellow bloggers, and visitors on your blog and when you go to Matty’s or the many others.

    Frostig bleiben der Liebe,

  6. You sound a lot like a toon, Chius, who was in a guild I was in for a while. Hang in there, we all go through self-loathing/ self-loving cycles of various depths. and lurking is a noble profession. Lurkers of the world unite… if any of you are out there. Oh and if you want to march maybe in your bedroom where noone will see and…
    I’ve just bailed on WoW as it kept trying to force me to play well with others and gone with Diablo where I can or not at whim (although its more boring as a game).
    Your wonderful search terms must show you that people come and read you for all sorts of reasons.
    Cheer up.
    PS Muddy’s recipe was to go “down to Louisiana and get me a mojo hand” so all you readers will be at my command 🙂

    • I know, sometimes I think Diablo might be more my speed but every time I visit again I get the bejeebers scared out of me, lol. That place is too scary for me. I think my lucky mojo is back, at least for now!

  7. Look, you have to just keep posting. Don’t worry about the rat bastards.

    I’ve made my share of “winning” comments out there that I later regretted*, but you can’t let the jerks get you down.

    *Hell, I even made one recently where I failed to mention a pretty critical part of how BGs work these days, and since I forgot to go back and put it in I sounded even more stupid than I usually do.

    • You are a kidder, I read a lot of your comments on other blogs and they are almost always well-considered and insightful, really.

      Well hopefully on the BG one the people reading were all like me and know nothing about it. Anyone writing about PvP is an expert to me, lol.

      • Oh, I got called out on it. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I believe I was told.

        Could be worse. I used to read Usenet back in the day, which is a lot like Reddit or 4Chan, and typically that was a “nice” comment.

  8. Wow – that man doesn’t even glance at that poor woman!!
    As for the more important part of this post – I’m glad you’re back blogging. And, I love reading about your dog… especially when you turn it into a particularly scary battle pet!
    Hopefully things are moving onwards and upwards for you now – I think just posting this is a the first step towards better things to come.

  9. Big hugs Tome. I can relate though that probably doesn’t help, everyone has their own journey :). Take care of yourself and like Roo said you are loved in the blogging and wow community. xx

  10. /Hugs. I do the same thing, whenever something bad happens in real life, I retreat from the online world just as much as I do the real one. But remember we mostly don’t bite (can’t talk for all those Gnomes & Goblins…) and we love you to bits.

  11. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling down but it’s true you have a lot of supporters out there.

    OMG that gif was hilarious and your comment made me snort

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