Slowhand or Death by Predatory Swiftness

slowhandA little while back Big Bear had a post about getting old. I so know what he meant although I’m not sure if it’s worse to remember better times or never to have had them. I arrived in Azeroth past my prime. Totally devoid of youthful reflexes. I don’t have any glory days to remember. First I was an old noob then I became just … older … and kinda beat up.

I don’t know if my hand-eye coordination was any better in my youth. I tried to think, but the only thing that I was ever competitive at was riding, and I think that’s a whole other skill set … more like balance and rapport with large beasts. Apparently I must have had balance and I definitely have rapport with beasts, probably more than with humans.

My right hand was broken once and never really got “right” again. With the bad comes some good, because now I have a handy built-in barometer. The hand hurts when air pressure changes and I do as good or better than the weatherman on TV with predictions. I haven’t figured out how to monetize that yet though.

I was born with crappy eyesight so I’m used to that and it’s never been a problem until recently. Because of Presbyopia I have an ever increasing cache of cheap eyeglasses with varying levels of magnification stashed around the house. Finding just the right combination of bifocal contacts paired with cheap glasses to see the fire I’m standing in with at least one eye is a science that I don’t always get just right.

THEN … reflexes. I SEE that I’m standing in something bad. I react as fast as I possibly can … now I’m almost dead … or dead. I was doing Cinderfall the other day and he shot fire out his butt or whatever he does and I MOVED out of it as fast as I could … dead. There was another person standing right by me and they seemed to move BEFORE he even shot his fiery flame of death at us. I KNOW it’s not my connection or my computer’s fault … it’s me.

I occasionally don’t even NEED a great bolt of fire to kill me. I kill myself. For those of you who aren’t Feral Druids there is a wonderful spell called Predatory Swiftness. For me it’s an instant heal based off combo points, it’s a life saver … and a killer.

I have a great big damn display counting out the seconds I have left on it, you can see it up there, it’s hard to miss. I have 3 more seconds to use it or lose it. This is the point of no return … 3 seconds. If I get cocky and think I can hit that key with 1 second showing, I’ve killed myself … and I do it more frequently than I’d care to mention. If I miss the timing, Cat will shoot up into squishy, wimpy caster form to be instantly beaten to death before I can regain cat form. I just killed her … sigh.

Getting old in Azeroth is dangerous business, no doubt about it. So Cat and Cim have worked it out, Cim does things like the Celestial bosses if someone’s getting a group together, Cat does not. Cat handles tricky things like pet battles, Cim does not. They’ve worked out a plan that suits them and me. The crafty Warlock is much better at killing things while preserving herself … figures.

Cat’s much better at sneaking in undetected and pouncing on Gulp Frogs although in fairness to Cim she doesn’t need to sneak in she pretty much just blasts her way through on the never ending quest to get Bufo to cough up that pet.

One day … maybe one day Matty will get that Old Lady Raiders guild going but until then Slowhand Cat will pick her fights and leave the fire-shooting bad guys to that crazy Warlock because I’m not leaving no matter how freaking old I get … so there Cinderfall.

And no, the whole post wasn’t just an excuse to sneak Eric Clapton in, I DO kill myself with Predatory Swiftness with some regularity.

17 Responses to “Slowhand or Death by Predatory Swiftness”

  1. Sorry to laugh but I’m in the same boat and play a lot of hunters in-game. Pets save my life more often than not. I started gaming when I was older, now, ten years later – I’m still older and still trying to keep up with the youngsters. 😀

    • Don’t be sorry! It’s true some classes are better for survival if you are a little slow on the reflexes. I love my feral cat but she either kills fast or dies fast and I’m never sure which it’s going to be!

  2. Be a Healey priest … you can keep doing your thing whilst dead (at least for a little while!) 😛 I’ve recently been levelling my rogue … I’m really bad at anything in melee range and I’ve spent a decent length of my rogues life, dead 😛

    • Now a healer is one thing I’ve never done. Well, that’s not true a friend wanted to be a tank so I rolled a healer. We queued once for a random, ran three and that was it for him and his dreams of tanking. I had fun but apparently he didn’t so poor girl ended her healing career right there.

  3. I’m not quite that far into “old man” area yet, but the grey is making inroads on my beard.

    Where you’ve got your weather prediction on your right hand, mine is my right foot. I’m not sure if this is the long term effect of having run hurdles in high school or not, but when a bad rain or snow is coming my right foot starts aching.

    • Oh! You’ve got a foot barometer! We ought to start a weather channel, appendage predictions!

      I know in my case some of my problems are right where I damaged something in my foolish youth. My neck and back are getting back at me for thinking I was a stunt woman when I was a teenager. I used to fling myself off my horse at a gallop to entertain and amaze friends. I now see that that was so not a good idea, lol.

  4. The fire out the ass? That knows no age limits: one shots are one shots. Ass fire is the worst of all.

  5. Old Lady Guild? Go, Matty, go! Where do I sign up?

  6. If there was a tally for Predatory Swiftness deaths, I’d be right up there with you! 😉 I even went so far as to throw in a stopcasting/catform macro so I have a quick ‘undo’ button I do it so much (arg).

    But half the fun of WoW for me is finding new and amusing ways to die, so ‘death by accidental healing’ is pretty much on par.

    I am amused by the number of addons that exist to gently remind players when a special ability is incoming, or we’re standing in the bad, or bleeds have fallen off– and I still die to accidental nelf’ing. *sighs* ^_~;;;

    • Oh I like that, death by accidental healing, lol! I’m not that big on addons except for pet battle ones but I did this so often that I went and got a great big button with a countdown and I STILL do it sometimes. Great to know I’m not alone!

  7. Yeah I’ve definitely hit healing touch thinking I’m using PS and stand there in night elf form hitting with my staff for a while before I realize it. I’m glad they added the indicator it procced, as I often wouldn’t notice it.

    I swear a lot of the time some of the fire on the ground mechanics on the island kill you even when your body is outside the mark on the ground. You are left yelling at the computer, but I DID MOVE. I used to have that problem with the mogu 180 degree arc too.

    I think a hunter is the easiest get out of bad situations class. Especially if you glyph misdirect and there was one that made healing your pet better too. Run around with a tank pet instead of a dps one, and whenever you do something dumb just MD to the pet and keep it healed. If the pet dies just Feign and wait for them to leave so you can rez your pet and try again. If it is a Night elf you can shadowmeld too.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one, sometimes the pack of people around rares is so large I don’t even know I did it.

      I know, I was quite proud that I’d jumped out of the fire and then really miffed when I died anyway, geez.

      And why do I remember shadowmeld with the Druid but until you mentioned it I totally forgot the Hunter’s a Night Elf too. And here’s how out of touch I am about Hunters. I just realized my pet IS my tank so I can MD him. I’ve got a lot to learn about huntering. Thanks for the tips, I’ll make a Hunter out of me yet!

  8. *laughs* I totally agree with you here. I often play with my 13 yr old son & the things he can do…*shaking my head* which is why the few times I manage to beat him at duels are extra good…I’m not just some old person but I’m his momma & I still kicked his butt. *giggles* Especially since he laughs at me cause um yeah…I’m queen of don’t stand in the…oh crap I died again syndrome. *laughs*

    • I’m lucky then, the only relative I have that did play was my son-in-law so nobody here knows my shame when I stand in bad stuff, lol. You go Mom! Winning a duel against a lightning fast 13 year old is to be savored!

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