Let it Go Already WordPress

So I get my “Your 2013 in blogging!” from WordPress, YAY YAY WOO-HOO! Wait … what? Seriously WordPress? Are you NEVER going to let this go? I am so TIRED of your carefully veiled jabs at me. It was a mistake, ALRIGHT? A mistake when I was a young blogger … it’s been over a year and a blog year is like … I don’t know … dog years. LET IT GO!

Yes, I typed the word that must not be typed. I moved on. I’ve atoned by occasionally posting sorta helpful facts, okay?

OMG! I thought we had an understanding!  I thought we’d agreed to let bygones be bygones, what do you want me to say … I’m sorry … I’m sorry, I WILL NEVER TYPE THE WORD THAT MUST NOT BE TYPED AGAIN OKAY! Can we move on?

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people which is an interesting fact but has no bearing on your blog. You know your garden shed in your back yard?

If all your visitors in 2013 were to get in that shed there’d still be room … for more.

YOU BITCHBASTARD WORDPRESS! I don’t believe you, you’re just still mad about the N word, what are you trying to say? That most of my traffic is looking for unclothed Vrykul? Is that it?

I was in a good mood this morning WordPress, I was going to talk about how, since I got a headset that works, I’ve been listening to the different zone music and was … oh what’s the point. Apparently WordPress thinks that the majority of my traffic is perverts looking for … can’t type it … must not type it … um … unattired women. So I’m sure they aren’t interested in a discussion of WoW music.

Okay you guys, move along … nothing to see here. You know who you are. And to the rest of you, have a Great New Year!

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation

Alright class, would anyone like to share what they did on their holiday? Don’t be shy … Yes? Miss Tome? Do you have something to share with the class?

A video? Oh, that’s lovely.

Yes, we all KNOW it’s REPETITIVE and somewhat BORING but enjoy the music because I can’t stop.

And Graccu? We mean what we say. You better watch your back, this is the only warning you’re getting.

You Write Like … Varian? Garrosh? Arthas?

Every once in a while I check back at I Write Like to see if I’ve changed. I used to be a Cory Doctorow but at one point I changed into a Chuck Palahniuk. Don’t know how I changed from a Cory to a Chuck but I seem to be consistently Chuck now.

This got me thinking about the WoW blogs I read. I KNOW there are writers I would recognize from their posts. Some of them I’d only need a paragraph or two and there are a few where one word would suffice … one word and I’d know who the post was written by. For example, the picture above. If you read her you will instantly know who that is.

The rest of my life, whenever I hear someone shout out SHEEYIT! she’ll be the first person I fondly think of. This may not be the best reaction because I might want to get out of the way of whatever caused the SHEEYIT! in the first place but there it is. I can’t change it.

I think I would recognize Matty by the lyrical beauty of the story. I think I would recognize a Navi poem anywhere. I could go on and on.

I was trying to figure out how we could test this but typically … because I’m not a planner … I was off willy-nilly in another direction. I’m still thinking. Maybe I’ll come up with something or one of you planners will.

Me? Oh that’s easy.

OMG! … WTF! … !!! … yeah. The End.

My Obligatory CRZ Winter Veil Morning Shot and then …

Yeah … so I manage to sneak away from food preparation to go to Ironforge and open presents. Not happening. The really nice thing about CRZ is that I now feel better about my server. I mean we’re absolute angels in comparison to what some people must have to put up with on a daily basis.

So … I was given FFXIV for Christmas because I did so much complaining around here when it came out. I whined about how I didn’t buy it before they stopped selling it. I’ll try that. One less person clogging up Ironforge.

I spent an enormous amount of time trying to make what I considered a believable character. I know, I know, it’s a fantasy world but I was unable to even come CLOSE to not cute and perky. I am not cute and perky so I put dirt and scars and stuff on her face … still cute … and perky.

And I have a bow on my butt. How am I to hold up my head as I tell people, yes … yes … I am a hardened adventurer and I will take your quest and dispatch whatever evildoers I come across. Don’t you imagine they’ll be laughing their asses off? And what the hell is with the garter belt contraption I seem to be wearing … just … WTF!

I mean would you hire these guys to clear out a Dragon infestation? No, probably not. Where’s their armor? Unless those really ARE abs of steel.

Same problem I have. I’m a fire flinging Thaumaturge and I’m wearing bows on my butt and look like I just stepped out of some chorus line at an establishment of dubious repute … geeeeezzzzz.

I ran around in that getup for a while but I seem to find Ul’Dah impossible to navigate and I can’t find the damn Lady Bugs I have to kill. Enough.

I’m going to go back now and drink in the ambiance of Ironforge. Ah … so good to be home. Warts and all.

That Psychic Chick Cymre

No, that’s not a yawn. It might look like a yawn but it’s a roar of glee … but let me back up. Before Cat logged on, my Bank Alt did her morning accounting and saw we’d made a little money. She knew Cat wanted a Ji-Kun Hatchling. Yesterday there were two on the AH so she quickly checked … oh no, not a single hatchling for sale. Sorry Cat. Maybe tomorrow.

Cat was ready to set off to kill the Greench again. What? I know, they’re all still doing it. I think they like to get a fruitcake and then yell, I DON’T EVEN CARE! HA! HA! She noticed she had mail. WHAT!!??

It’s a letter from Cymre! OMG! OMG!

Cat, calm down. What is it?

It’s a Ji-Kun Hatchling! That Cymre has psychic abilities! What a wonderful surprise! I told Greatfather Winter I wanted one … but … but … I didn’t … OMG! … it happened!

Cat thought about it for a while and decided to name her Psychic Cymre … well, because she must be! Thanks so much Cym!

I last saw Cat blowing kisses to that little Psychic Cymre Chick before they set off for her training. Cat’s not even going to miss me when I leave for the Land of IRL and I’ll know she’s having a wonderful Winter Veil training her Hatchling. Watch, it’ll probably be level 25 by the time I get back. That Cat sure has a lot of really nice friends.

An End to the Torment of Freaking Fruitcakes

Sweet Elune … I am finally freed from that painful obsession. I can FINALLY stop flying back and forth seven times each day for a chance, a chance mind you to acquire a Rotten Little Helper. The madness has ended … I can now purchase food for the holidays and clean house prior to guest’s arrival. Yeah, I’m not sure I’m that happy about the last one.

Cim was the third run this morning. I had decided it would be the last one today. I came to grips with the reality that I probably wouldn’t be getting a Helper. I was Lumpyless through six Winter Veils until kind Helke sent Cat hers. So it would be. It wasn’t the flying … it’s wasn’t the boss because I think in the 42 bazillion times I flew up there I only saw the boss maybe three times … I just picked up the box and returned …

That’s when the soul crushing began. Another FREAKING FRUITCAKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO … I can’t take it! Make it stop! Please! Something else, anything else, a Grindgear Toy Gorilla, ANYTHING! Just not a … not a … see, I can’t even say it.

So a friend comes to visit yesterday and my mother comes over to see her and … and … she walks in the door with a FRUITCAKE. It took every bit of will I had to not slam the door and run away screaming. I don’t know, the fruitcake aversion damage may be permanent.

Figures the rotten little guy would come out for a Warlock, same disposition those two. I asked Cim to turn her mount into a reindeer for the shot, she just gave me a hand gesture and said, get on with it.

Anyway, I want to express my sincerest apologies to the Ironforge Sanitation Department … really, we’re so sorry. We honestly didn’t know flushing seven fruitcakes a day would have the effect they did on the plumbing. I’m sorry they backed up. I’m sorry there was an incident.

Yeah … we got out just before those pipes blew. I heard it was … freaking awful.

Happy Winter’s Veil!

Matty’s Solstice Advent Challenge: 17, 18, 19

Light of Flame.

For day 17, *cough* cheater *cough* I’m using my new Flamethrower. I’ve given her flaming red hair, the title Flame Warden and the name Flaminga in the hope that I’ve successfully eradicated ANY resemblance to a Demonology Warlock. I’ve convinced myself she’s a totally new class, The Flamethrower. This way I’ll finally be able to learn Destruction. My only wish is that I could change the Void into something that looks like a Shaman’s Fire Elemental … maybe a glyph or something, oh well.

Tree lights.

City lights.

Solstice Advent Challenge

Winter’s Veil … Bah Humbug

Well finally … a little peace around here. Ms. “Squee! Another pet!” Cat and the crew are off to Ironforge spending their days flying back and forth trying to acquire a Rotten Little Helper. While I applaud their choice of pet for once … really … Cat and her bunnies and kitties and SQUEEEE gets old fast.

I don’t really “get” the whole pet thing. Since they all left me here ALONE at Winter’s Veil to learn Destruction, I’m sure no one will mind that I raided the bank and bought a pet suitable for a Warlock … yeah … no cute little kitties for me.

So after making my purchase, I headed back to the torture chamber proving grounds to get stuck on wave seven again. I saw a Zandalari Warscout sneaking along below. Oh! A pleasant diversion before I have to get back to class! Maybe he’ll have a bag of cloth on him.

OMG!!!OMG!!!OMG!!! It killed ME! THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE! THAT SO DID NOT JUST HAPPEN! WTF!

That’s it! I’ve had it! This is humiliating and you DO NOT humiliate a Warlock. I headed back to the Shrine and reversed all the gems and enchants and reforges at GREAT expense to that interfering busybody handler … snicker … that will teach her!

THIS is who I am! THIS is who I’ll remain, there will be no more fiddling with my spec. I AM a Demonology Warlock and a Demonology Warlock I WILL remain.

Um … two things … I learned two things. Although Warlocks act like they don’t care about things like Winter’s Veil they apparently do. Don’t pack up and leave them behind with a task they consider onerous. You will pay and pay dearly for it.

Second thing, it looks like I’ll have to do this Destruction thing from level one to get it right … sigh.

You just wait right there Warscout! Don’t you move Warscout! A Destruction Warlock is COMING FOR YOU … it’s just … you know … it might be a little while.

Pandaren Treasure Noodle Muscle Cart

Cat is ecstatic. The two things she’d dreamed of both came true. A legendary cloak? Nope. A sought after achievement? Nope, a Pandaren Treasure Noodle Cart! It’s like the ultimate muscle car of noodle carts! Look at that baby!

See what I mean! That cart is totally a Pandaren Treasure Noodle Muscle Cart!

I did some reading about the noodle cart quest chain and it sounded like Cat could complete the step Is That A Real Measurement? without having to kill the last boss in Stormstout Brewery, which is the one I thought might be a problem alone, so off she went! First two bosses, no problem at all. She collected her quest items from the mobs before the last boss. Another step closer to noodle cart!

Cat has always been saddened by the lack of a Hopling. Sasche had tried to find all thirty Golden Hoplings ages ago and finally gave up and left empty handed. This was her chance! No matter HOW LONG she had to stay in there she was going to find those hoplings!

Success! I had been admiring Erinys’ bucket list and wishing I were that organized but I think I may have completed the two things I really wanted. We are ready to met the Warlords! I want the Crawling Craw too … yeah, like that’s ever happening.

Before Cat set off for the final scenario I did more reading and found an interesting comment at Wowhead. Someone said just spam the 3 button giving everyone the same food until they’re happy and leave. Don’t worry about whether they’re merchants or scholars or whatever. Sounds good to me, I told Cat to just fling the same food at everyone and it worked great.

Anyone having trouble with The Secret Ingredient Is… should give it a try. I had been a little worried considering the amount of frustrated comments on the quest, whew! Done!

We even did some archeology hoping we might be on a run of luck … another Canopic Jar … okay, the lucky streak’s over, but it was fun while it lasted.

OLRG (with real men) Ride Forth Once Again!

The Old Ladies, with a touch of real men, ventured once again into Firelands. Cat got a very pretty staff, only later remembering she equips a mace. No matter, she put it into void storage for when she’s carrying around a staff again.

Tyl, Plenty of Paladins’ Hunter once again scored a lovely crossbow I think, she’s got a lot of transmogs ahead of her!

I always consider it a good run if Cat doesn’t sidle up to Repgrind’s handsome, Human Male Kerick and embarrass me by dancing, but this one was even better! She didn’t embarrass me, okay well … she did get lost and Prinnie of That Was an Accident! had to rescue her, but the best thing was … those mounts really do drop!

Ragnaros actually let go of a Smoldering Egg of Millagazor and I was very pleased when Helke won the roll! After all, Cat really loves Crazy Cat Ladies, I mean who wouldn’t?

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER!

Yes! I know! How cool is that! The OLRG (with real men) were kind enough to get Cat out of her mope by going to The Temple of the Jade Serpent and smacking the noodle cart boss down!

She hurried off this morning to show it off to Dog, and I’m pretty sure he was the recipient of a noodle treat. She seems a little concerned there … maybe a grease fire … but she’s a very happy Cat today thanks to Matty the Tanking Wolf and all of the OLRGers with real men included! Thanks to all for an especially good night!