Archive for May, 2014

Death Knight Redux, Broken Promises and Dance Party

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on May 30, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

rotlimbSo yeah, my Death Knight. We have just never had a connection. She was born as soon as the class was added and I wanted to like her. I really did. I raced changed her to Worgen, thought that might help. Nope. She’s always been Unholy, I thought maybe a change was in order. She resisted. What was the problem?

Rotlimb. She didn’t want to give him up. She was really attached to her permanent … um … friend. Look, unless you want to molder away in your slot something has got to change. Okay? We’ll try Frost, it must be popular because it’s the Death Knight spec Blizzard has featured in their, “Leap into Action with Our New Level-90 Crash Course Videos.” Let’s watch it.

Oh hey, I think we can do this! Three spells! There are only three spells you’ve got to worry about! Hey, we can handle that … nah … don’t worry about all that other stuff. They just used three spells. No, I have no idea why you’ve got all those other things but don’t worry … Blizzard said.

What about Runes? Oh don’t worry about them just keep mashing those three buttons, something’s got to happen. You worry too much. I thought Death Knight were stoic. Chill … we’ll be fine. People will just think you’re a boosted character.

So at iLevel 493 we set off for the Timeless Isle to learn the craft of Frost Death Knightery.

Holy shit! This pink chicken is kicking my ass! Janinna! Really! Is that how a Death Knight talks? You’re damn right it is! Are you crazy! You’re going to get me … you will resurrect in 25 seconds

Crap! Oh calm down Jan, let’s try the little buffalo thingies. Oh wait! Come on! We’ve got to find crabs to get you a shell hat so you can go up top and get your Burden of Eternity!

After the crab episode she stopped talking to me, told me to do more research. Okay … might be a plan. I don’t think she appreciates this whole bonding experience but it’s early days and I have hope.

Yeah … promises. I promised myself that I would not pre-order Wildstar. I have a bad track record of buying these things and sometimes I’m not even still playing before the free month is up. And I held out. I DID!

Well, until today but I was very frugal I’ll have you know. I got the no frills, no cool hoverboard, no dye, no outfit, plain vanilla Wildstar. How’s that for restraint? We’ll see how this goes. I know at least my Death Knight would be happy to see the back of me.

picoloCim the Warlock was so excited when she got back from Stratholme I thought maybe the mount dropped. No, she said, but it’s just as wonderful! I finally have my own Piccolo of the Flaming Fire! Wow, I so did not see that one coming. The Warlock’s been dreaming of a piccolo? And dance parties?

I think she’s been hanging out with Cat too much. Maybe you should play that thing around Janinna, I think she needs cheering up. She misses Rotlimb, yeah I mean who doesn’t … um … miss Rotlimb.

All Fired Up

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on May 28, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

upinsmoke Yeah, this is so not even funny anymore. That’s the little Inn on Timeless Isle … in flames again. I frequently login, check my bags, look at quests … oh shit, I’m dead. Blizzard can’t you make that thing fireproof or something? Given the warped sense of humor of some of your customers you should have seen this coming.

I always wonder if different servers have different customs just like regions and countries or is Molten Guardian pulling a realm-wide custom. I mean do they call Fizzy Faire Drink soda on one server and pop on another? Is Timeless Isle tent flaming universal or just popular on my server?

Anyway, I was feeling disgruntled and crabby after my Hunter was cooked yet again on logging in. We’re going to have to learn to login and then run like hell … you know, just in case. Maybe she should hit Disengage immediately on login and shoot out of the tent. I think I’ll try that next time.

I had enough with the merry band of pranksters. I’m leaving. I know, Cim might as well take another stab at Attumen the Huntsman for his horse. I know we won’t get the horse but I like it in there anyway.

firehorseWTF! This can not be! There was much elation! Cim and I took screen shots and then were hit by the post-attaining-whatever-it-was-you-wanted-depression. Well crap, what are we going to do now? It usually doesn’t last too long. Lord Rivendare you’re on notice, the unattainable can be obtained!

So thank you, you little stupidhead Molten Guardian pullers for running me off the Isle. I have a Fiery Warhorse and you don’t. Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah.

OLRG, Chatting with Lo’Gosh and Tomes!

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , , on May 26, 2014 by tomeoftheancient


So Saturday the OLRG met to deal with Arthas and … CIM! What the hell is that! You’re supposed to take screen shots of the Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild, NOT YOURSELF. What is wrong with you. You didn’t get any pictures of Arthas’ cold, dead body? Maybe a nice shot of the ladies? I’m serious, I know you want to go with them but I’m putting Cat back in if you can’t be a responsible reporter.

Excuse her, I’m really sorry but all she’s interested in is … yeah … herself. She got a new, lovely gown that evening and now she’s obsessed with making a “Horns” outfit, I’ll leave her to it and see if Cat’s got anything interesting going on.

Oh Cat! I mean it was bad enough annoying random NPCs but do you think it’s wise to alienate your leaders? Apparently after that she set off to question Tyrande and Malfurion but she said they have no sense of humor and wouldn’t play along and were boring. Sasche paid a visit to Sylvanas and she was all business, refused to go off script. Oh well, at least Varian was a good sport.

So I was moaning recently that there’s not much to do and I have to thank whoever used the search term “tome of the dinosaur” to arrive here. I’m not sure how that got them here because I completely forgot about the Ancient Tome of Dinomancy.

bluebookerI mean you’d think it’d be a no-brainer for me to remember something with a name like that but nope, forgot it. My only excuse is that my Hunter was the sixth character to make the climb to ninety so I had kinda forgotten about it by then.

So in case anyone else missed it, first go to the Isle of Giants. Kill Zandalari Dinomancers until one drops an Ancient Tome of Dinomancy which will teach you how to tame your own Direhorn. Zor picked a blue one to match her hair. She’s quite pleased.

So yeah, there’s still stuff to do … I just need to like … REMEMBER it. Better late than never I guess.

Even NPCs get Testy

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on May 22, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

This coming November I will have played WoW continuously for eight years. This is the first time that apathy has set in. It probably won’t cause me to unsub … but yeah … what to do. I don’t even have anything to say … cause I’m not really doing anything.

Thanks goes to Zeirah of A is for Azeroth and Z is for Zeira. Because of her recent post life was good again, I had a mission. Meet Mojo Stormstout in person and see if he’s still feeling out of sorts.

WELL I NEVER! How dare you!

The Draenei are known for their hospitality, Cat thought she’d talk to one of them. While not quite as grumpy as Mojo he wasn’t too pleased with her antics. I can only assume that the long wait for Warlords is taking its toll on not only us, but the NPCs too. You have my sympathy guys, really you do.

Thanks Zeirah! Cat’s off to see who else she can annoy!


OLRG to the Rescue

Posted in OLRG with tags , , , on May 18, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

chaosboltTypical. So typical Cim. I wanted screen shots of EVERYONE and all you took is one of yourself. Really, if you can’t think of others I might have to send Cat next time. You got to go to test my theory. I was giving that stupidhead Staghelm the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe because Cat was there with her Fandral’s Flamescythe in her pack he mistakenly thought he didn’t have to hand one out. It didn’t work.

In the name of all that is holy Staghelm you DUMBHEAD, GIVE MATTY THAT STAFF! Enough already! We’ll come back if you do, we promise.

After that the Old Ladies were kind enough to revisit Naxxramas because I had missed last week’s Shocking achievement. Led by the stalwart lass Breige, we got it and that completed Glory of the Raider for me. Thank you kind ladies and men!

We were joined by a dashing Worgen Death Knight, Fenry. I hope he’s alright. He’d eaten some tainted dog food and was a lovely shade of green for a while.

And I have to say, sometimes I really wonder about me. I talked … AT LENGTH … really, must have been half an hour or so without getting a response from anyone. Did I check the mic? Nope. I kept fiddling with vent settings, must be something wrong.

I’ll have to write a note to myself. After fiddling with the bendy microphone thingy, check to make sure you haven’t TURNED IT OFF. And no, I didn’t have any wine. Not for the whole evening because I forgot to … so it’s not that.

But the very best thing … in Cim’s eyes at least, because let’s face it … with that Warlock it’s ALL about her … were the drops. She’d been so disgruntled that the outfit she’d planned fizzled. Just didn’t work like she’d hoped.

firewarlockThis morning she equipped what she got last night and even without changing the belt and the boots it looks pretty darn good (and didn’t cost ME anything) and she’s pretty pleased. And you have NO idea how hard it is to please her. There’s just one little thing. She’s now unhappy with the color of her blob, Gork.

The last I saw her she was headed to Stormwind, somewhere near the Slaughtered Lamb she says there’s a new salon where they’ll dye your minion to match your outfit. I was skeptical at first but then why not, there be these.

Thanks for a wonderful evening Matty and Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild!


My Warlock the Ingrate

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , , on May 17, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

greenglowCim really is the most high maintenance character I’ve ever had. She wanted this outfit and wasn’t willing to wait. Unfortunately for me, two of the items could be made if I bought her expensive patterns. While the pattern was expensive, Cloak of Eternity was at least cheap to make. The pattern for Cord of the White Dawn wasn’t cheap and then the only Runed Orbs I could find were not either.

Spire of Scarlet Pain? Wait for it to drop in Firelands? Not a chance, she told my bank alt to snap it up at any price if it appeared on the AH. Which it did.

And there she is … whinging and moaning. Yes, even her Voidlord threw up his hands in disgust with her. She immediately complained about her enchant’s green glow on the staff. She felt she should be able to turn it on or off. She was NOT happy.

warlockonfireShe then complained that the cloak only worked the way she hoped while she’s on fire and said she’d just not display cloak until she finds one that works. WHAT! YOU WHAT? Did I get a thank you? NO! I get complaints.

I’m reduced to complaining to you because too much arguing with a Warlock can have … consequences … is all I’ll say. Nobody else is this demanding. Let’s take a look.

catreplicaCat goes around in replica gear and a belt she bought for 50s because it was green. No high maintenance fussy dresser there. Okay she’s hardly ever in Night Elf form but still. Cat I appreciate it, I really do.

rosecloakHere’s Rose in her Timeless Isle gear. The ONLY thing she requested was a less busy cloak, she’s happy with the rest. Must be a Druid thing, they both are low maintenance. Never any trouble … okay … yeah … Cat does have a thing for pets but at least she’s grateful.


Okay, here’s my Shaman the comedian. She’s wearing a mish-mash of stuff and doesn’t care. All she wanted was an Anvilmar Hammer cause she thinks it funny. See what I mean? ONLY Cim causes trouble.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. As a favor to me if you see Cim could you tell her she looks great just as she is? Maybe it will stop all this nonsense, it’s worth a try.

A Horse with No Name a Post with No Words … sort of

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , , on May 14, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

palaquincarryYeah … it’s happened before. I had this whole post but blah, blah, blah who cares. As has happened before I don’t hold a grudge against the pictures. I’m fine with the pictures, so I’ll leave them.



Our new neighbors.

This morning I did read something interesting though, Deeds of Valor will cost 3,000 Timeless Coins and grant you 100 Valor. I know Cat will be happy to hear that. In an effort to get rid of her coins she’s been using them to summon the Archiereus Of Flame, then she logs out so the luckless Hunter can have a shot at a Burden of Eternity.

It’s not working at all but coins are burning a hole in a lot of my character’s pockets so they’re all happy to have something to spend them on.

And oh … he’s a Coywolf, I did not know they existed until they moved into the neighborhood.

Don’t Stop Believin’

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on May 10, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

dontstopbelievingJust a small town Elf livin’ in a lonely world … Psst! Cat! Cat! What are you doing sitting by the mailbox singing Journey songs? What? It’s how you make it magic? Oh come on, I don’t think … read what? OH! Okay, you got me, I will never doubt you again.

Do you know how much I wanted an Ashleaf Spriteling? I know Cat, I know. You’d think with all the time you and your sisters spent on the Timeless Isle you would have seen one drop but nope. Let’s see him!

catsmileOh no! Cat, he looks scared. I know it’s your smile but you know … there are an awful lot of teeth in that smile, I think it upset him. Can you just kind of smile with your mouth closed? I don’t know, he still looks worried. What could we do to make him feel at ease? I know! Road trip! I think I have just the thing!

scottyfriendWe set off for Townlong Steppes to pay a visit to Scotty. Um … Cat? Better dismiss your Spriteling before we visit Scotty. Why? Well, I don’t think it will put him at ease if he sees how we get Scotty’s Lucky Coin, do you? Yeah, bring him back out … you know … after.

After the deed was done Cat used Scotty’s Coin and the little Spriteling was clearly in awe of her dance moves. I think he feels more at home now. She left with him to start his training right away.

She says she can speak Spriteling … I don’t know but I’m not doubting her after how the whole singing Don’t Stop Believin’ at the mailbox thing worked out. So anyway Cat said his name is Helkeke, I’ll have to take her at her word on that.

Thank you so much Helke! Cat is ecstatic, last time I saw her she was entertaining Halfhill dancing with her new pet while taking a training break. Helkeke says to say he’s well and happy … after he got over the whole giant teeth of the cat thing.

Never doubt the magic mailbox.

Who are you? Who, who, who, who?

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on May 9, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

whoruI feel like I’m in WoW hibernation or something. Unless I happen to run into someone in a cave, there’s not a lot to talk about right now. I think … you know something that really bothers me? When I was young people would call me “hun.” Then I became “ma’am.” NOW I’M HUN AGAIN! I am not your hun, in fact I’m a big curmudgeon who slaughters beasts and evil doers on a daily basis. BY THE HUNDREDS! So unless you mean the Attila kind of hun, I’m not one.

Anyway …  so I really, really hate mornings. I have to spend an extended period of time looking directly at my face which is something I try to avoid at all costs. If I don’t see me, my mental image of me is stuck somewhere around thirty-two. Once I put my contacts in, it’s DAMN! WHO DID THIS! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE! Who the hell trapped me in here! LET ME OUT!

As often happens I thought about my characters. I know they’re all me but they’ve developed very distinct personalities without any conscious effort on my part. Cat the Druid is my favorite, she’s kind and silly and spends most of her time playing with her pets and trying to get exalted with everybody. She wants to be liked. I’m not really Cat.

Cim the Warlock is me in a permanent bad mood. All she wants to do is kill every damn thing that doesn’t kill her first. Again, me sometimes. Usually after spending hours trying to talk to a human representative of a company on the phone. But not really me.

Some of my characters are cheeky, some are shy but it occurred to me that the closest match is Sasche the Warlock.

ghosttimespastWhat was she like before … does it haunt her? Through no fault of her own, whatever self she remembers is trapped inside her Forsaken body. Does she avoid mirrors too? She’s pretty quiet … whatever thoughts of the past she has, she doesn’t share but I can’t help but wonder what she was like before.

I felt bad for feeling sorry for myself because Sasche has it way worse than I do. Nevertheless, I have taken to wearing my Helm of the Fierce Bison for … you know … fortitude. Just in case I encounter a mirror. SHIT! WHO’S … oh … it’s me. I can’t even imagine how Sasche feels.

Lunacy and The Importance of Punctuation

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on May 7, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

badluckhunterLast week we finally finished up getting all the Celestial Tournament pets. Cat got the first one when the tournament came out and then went AWOL for months. FINALLY it was done. I NEVER have to do it again. Three weeks of those for a Marked Flawless Battle-Stone? Not happening. Yay! The agony is over!

Yesterday rolls around and I find my luckless Hunter doing it. WTF! Zor, are you insane! Why? Why? What is this lunacy? Everyone else who visited the Timeless Isle had burdens of eternity dropping from everything. Pink Flamingos, turtles, whatever. They have them in their banks because they can’t stand to get rid of them. Not so with luckless Hunter. She has to buy them with 50,000 coins. She’s doing the tournament for the 1,000 coins.

Well I’ll leave you to it cause this is not fun Zor. I’m leaving. What would be fun? Oh! I know! I’ll level my Drunken Fish Warlock who’s in Matty’s guild. Yes, another Warlock … yeah, I don’t know what that’s about either.

So without a care for stupid burdens of anything, she’s questing about in Darkshore in her crappy clothes because I find Warlocks don’t care. They have an inflated opinion of their might. Overconfidence is a mark of my Warlocks.

So we’re tasked with entering a cave thingy. I don’t care if it’s a barrow, cave or burrow … it is our NEMESIS … even my Warlocks can’t defeat the cave. Looking for the guy we’re supposed to whack is proving … once again … impossible. Endlessly going in circles, killing the respawns … sigh.

We enter a room and there’s a Warrior standing there. Maybe the Warrior knows the way, I’ll inquire.

Kind Sir, I’ve been sent to destroy the foul Demon who is said to reside in these caves. Can you direct me?

(Okay, I’m fibbing. I didn’t RP it.)

Silence …

Pray tell Sir, do you know the location of the heinous beast?

cant share nuts

I certainly had no expectation of nut sharing. Frankly, I didn’t even know he had some in his pack. I’m feeling a little weird even being in this dark cave with him. Come on Lupe, we’re out of here.

I thought about that the rest of the day. I don’t even think that was a non sequitur because we hadn’t been talking about anything. What did it mean?

I even wrote it down so I could puzzle over it. The next morning it came to me! I’ll bet we were in the right room!

Can’t share, nuts.

I’m not much for grammar and punctuation but this made me see the error of my ways … well, sort of. I’ll have you know I’ve thrown EXTRA commas in this post just to make up for all my other posts.

I only wish I had known what you meant before I decided to flee. A Demon still lives … all for the want of a comma.