An Old Ladies Raiding Guild Thriller

Every once in a while something strikes me as incredibly, awesomely funny. I remember once when my husband and I were first married we were watching David Letterman one night and the guest asked if he had a dog.

He replied that he indeed did have a dog but it was old. So old in fact that it fell when he rode it. Yes, Letterman told it better, so much so that I could not stop laughing hysterically. I couldn’t stand up, I rolled around on the floor for a while. I’m sure my husband must have thought, shit, what have I gotten into here.

It might have been Letterman’s deadpan delivery … I don’t know. It became a part of our family dialect. I remember telling my husband that our one dog needed a “senior” checkup now and he agreed saying, I know, he falls when I ride him. I still crack up.

For whatever reason words create movies in my head.

So yeah … a little background for you. I’m apt to crack up inappropriately at times.

So last night Matty’s OLRG met once again to conquer the bad guys and strip them of their clothes and valuables. Off we went to The Throne of Four Winds. We were trying for a few achievements. When we got to Stay Chill it wasn’t working so we wiped the first attempt and there ensued a strategy meeting.

I’m usually pretty quiet so it must have been a surprise when I started laughing hysterically. Poor Breige said … I’m paraphrasing … Do the dead really matter? I just lost it.

I knew what she meant but for some reason a huge glowing book cover appeared in my mind. There was champagne, reporters, it was a book launch!

The first installment of “An Old Ladies Raiding Guild Thriller” series. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shit I can’t stop, turn off the mic. They’ll twig to the fact that you’re a nut.

“Do the Dead Really Matter” is a book, a thriller. Somebody needs to write it.

So there’s that. I won’t even go into the time I laughed so hard I had to try to escape a Mall without anyone detecting that I had split the seam in the back of my pants out completely.

Oh and yeah, dead people do matter so the next attempt we all stayed alive and got it.

 

 

 

The Old Ladies Got Me a Pony!

It cracks me up to refer to the old ladies since I’m pretty sure I’m the only bonafide old lady there. I get a giggle out of it. Anyway, last night at the OLRG run I finally got Glory of the Icecrown Raider done thanks to them and I got my new pony!

Isn’t he beautiful cute … um … awesome! Thank you so much clever Matty and ladies! It would never have happened without you because between you and me I have no idea how to do some of those achievements. I mean we did Been Waiting a Long Time for This and I’m still puzzled.

And yes, I have watched videos and yet still I’m puzzled. I could never figure who had what stacks where so thankfully others know enough to say … hey … you there … go stand here until A happens and then go stand at B. Whew, now that I can handle. I am so grateful ladies.

Last night a certain lady told us how she’d been talking in vent and we seemed to be ignoring her. It took her a while to realize her mic was off. I’ve done that. But last night while flying around on my new pony I was talking away and the ladies were ignoring me. Hey! Hey! Look at my amazing pony guys! Hey!

It’s kind of scary how long it took me to notice no one was in vent anymore … but who cares! I got a new pony!

 

OLRG to the Rescue

Typical. So typical Cim. I wanted screen shots of EVERYONE and all you took is one of yourself. Really, if you can’t think of others I might have to send Cat next time. You got to go to test my theory. I was giving that stupidhead Staghelm the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe because Cat was there with her Fandral’s Flamescythe in her pack he mistakenly thought he didn’t have to hand one out. It didn’t work.

In the name of all that is holy Staghelm you DUMBHEAD, GIVE MATTY THAT STAFF! Enough already! We’ll come back if you do, we promise.

After that the Old Ladies were kind enough to revisit Naxxramas because I had missed last week’s Shocking achievement. Led by the stalwart lass Breige, we got it and that completed Glory of the Raider for me. Thank you kind ladies and men!

We were joined by a dashing Worgen Death Knight, Fenry. I hope he’s alright. He’d eaten some tainted dog food and was a lovely shade of green for a while.

And I have to say, sometimes I really wonder about me. I talked … AT LENGTH … really, must have been half an hour or so without getting a response from anyone. Did I check the mic? Nope. I kept fiddling with vent settings, must be something wrong.

I’ll have to write a note to myself. After fiddling with the bendy microphone thingy, check to make sure you haven’t TURNED IT OFF. And no, I didn’t have any wine. Not for the whole evening because I forgot to … so it’s not that.

But the very best thing … in Cim’s eyes at least, because let’s face it … with that Warlock it’s ALL about her … were the drops. She’d been so disgruntled that the outfit she’d planned fizzled. Just didn’t work like she’d hoped.

This morning she equipped what she got last night and even without changing the belt and the boots it looks pretty darn good (and didn’t cost ME anything) and she’s pretty pleased. And you have NO idea how hard it is to please her. There’s just one little thing. She’s now unhappy with the color of her blob, Gork.

The last I saw her she was headed to Stormwind, somewhere near the Slaughtered Lamb she says there’s a new salon where they’ll dye your minion to match your outfit. I was skeptical at first but then why not, there be these.

Thanks for a wonderful evening Matty and Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild!

 

The Few. The Proud. The Old Ladies.

Last night Ulduar tried to wear down the OLRG by attrition. Toward the end, only a few remained. I really should have a screen shot of Yogg-Saron and there’s no excuse because I had all the time in the world since I was laying there dead.

I realized a few things. As we had an earlier than usual start I did not have any wine and I was dead more. There seems to be some kind of correlation between my wine drinking and staying alive. Apparently when tipsy I gain survivability … would have guessed the other way around. Good to know.

I just checked, that’s my third visit to Ulduar and portal to Mind’s Eye? A little room? What? Who knew? On hearing the description of what needed to be done in the room I didn’t have a lot of hope. Finding my way to wherever I needed to be sounded unlikely and it was. I stood there and gaped at Arthas and never found anyone to kill.

So it seems without wine I have a greater idea of what’s actually happening but I’m dead so … yeah … doesn’t really help. Anyway, the brave few prevailed while my lazy ass lay there on the floor. Matty, Kamalia, Gurdrid and Tyl that good looking Hunter of Plaid Elf’s saved the day while I did my nails. Yay! You go ladies!

As always it was a great evening, thank you! I’ll watch a video and see if I can find my way to the brain next time … or not … there might be wine. And here’s hoping Helke’s computer woes have been resolved! I hope you all scored much finery to wear, I know I got many fine 10 man achievements I didn’t have.

OLRG: Steppin Out Over the Line

I don’t know, I’m just feeling Springsteenish. I could have titled it “Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.” While partly true because the Old Ladies WERE born to run I don’t feel comfortable calling us all tramps.

Anyway, it was great that Amerence joined us for the first time last night! It was nice that she told us who she was and gave us her blog. I spent the whole of the last OLRG run trying to figure out who Imraith was playing. I know … friend’s list … duh. But that brings me to my code word.

At some point in the evening I usually say, “I’m going to go get some wine.” It’s code for “from this point on I will probably die tripping over dryer lint the Mogu left laying around.” Or “I’ll stand in delighted amazement gazing at the pretty light all around me until … yeah dead.” It’s when I do things like trying to figure who someone is playing when the information is readily available. It’s my hard mode.

Anyway Cim had a great time, she’s going to make everyone else miserable now. She’s going to lord it over the other characters now that she’s the only one who actually did Mogu’shan Vaults on normal.

She spent most of the evening with a scary skull over her head. I’m not sure if it was to warn people away from her as she had something contagious or was it there to intimidate the residents of the Vaults. She’s one scary bad dude … yeah. You guys should just give up and move along. Yeah, I’m going with that one.

After that it was on to Blackwing Descent and more fun. As always, thanks Matty for making these happen. I love you Old Ladies! Cause you know … tramps like us, baby we were born to run.

OLRG: In The Mountains

As it turns out  the Horde did not get to come out and play. Matty was hardly late at all because she loves us that much. No, the song has nothing to do with the raid, I just like it.

I know, I  know, you’ve all done that years ago. I’d never been in Ulduar. The closest I ever got to Ulduar was this. I have been waiting for … what … four or five years for Thorim to realize he recognizes me from IN THE MOUNTAINS. Yeah … cause I was there. I’m surprised … that guy’s got a really good memory. I don’t know if I’d have recognized him except for the … you know, being HUGE thing.

What a great evening. We started out with the Trial of the Crusader where I’d never been either. I just checked Cimmeria’s Activity Feed and and it states:

Displaying the 50 most recent events for this character.

And they were all from last night, so Cim got 50 or more achievements done. Wow, you go Cim!

I was even less communicative than usual because I was busy gawking around and taking screen shots. Matty’s right, OLRG is the most wonderful fantasy tour bus.

Helke the I Will Kick Your Butt dps, Momo (Matty) the Tour Director, Neo the Wonderful Voice of Strats … okay, time out for a sec. Neo has the greatest accent ever and I can’t place it. I know it’s from west of me. Oh, well yeah … everything’s kinda to the west of me but you know what I mean. Where was I?

And Cim the Directionally Challenged were joined by Prinnie, I’m Really a Goblin in Disguise and off we set to Ulduar. I almost got lost once and it’s the first time I didn’t even care. I would have been fine with just wandering around in there because it’s incredible.

Neo told me to go up a flight of steps first. I was hesitant. Would I be attacked by a flock of chittering, flying monkeys? Snakes, I’m scared of … OHSHIT! WTF! At some point I found I had inadvertently turned my mic off so hopefully the ladies were spared my breach of etiquette. I think I made Kologarn’s night. I’ll bet it’s been a while since he’s been able to scare the bejeebers out of anyone.

So there we are posing in front of Yogg-Saron in the goop and my dog wouldn’t stop pestering me. He’d heard us talking about Neo’s dog’s preference for dining on TV remote controls. Any talk of food gets his attention. His spelling is a little off but his typing skills are spot on.

As always, a wonderful time. Thank you all!

OLRG: While the Cat’s Away the Mice Will … TURN HORDE

While Matty might be back in time for the regular 4:00pm Pacific, 7:00pm Eastern run, she thought it doubtful. I’ll be on and thought if everyone wants to we could do something as Horde until she returns … or not. Whatever you ladies want to do.

Really I just wanted to post about what a great day it was. Yes, see that Voidlord, he’s ecstatic. The Squirrels With Knives guild was born today.

I was complaining to Matty that I was simultaneously attacked by Mogu and guild invites. Since I have guild invites turned off I get the personal requests that require a polite response. Sasche’s rather rare as an unguilded 90 and sometimes the requester wants to argue my decline.

Within minutes Matty and friends saved me.  Between Matty and her guild mate Turk and OLRG raider Taik (I hope I have the shortened version of their name right or I’ll be humiliated) Sasche had a safe haven from guild invites and a bank!

There’s Turk with his descriptive and helpful name because I WAS obsessing about, “but how will I know it’s the right person?”

I think Matty knows me really well, I probably would land in a coma if I had to approach four strangers to sign a charter. Annoying to be this way but you work with what you’ve got.

So I asked Matty to come up with a good name as I loved her ideas for guild names. So Squirrels With Knives was born. Thank you all so much!

Yeah … embarrassing … my husband pointed out that … well, that’s not a squirrel. It’s a chipmunk. Geez. Thankfully I didn’t know that cause Squirrels With Knives is WAY scarier than Chipmunks With Knives. I really dodged a bullet there.

Calling All Old Ladies!

Matty is battling real life dragons right now. She wanted me to get the word out to the Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild members on our upcoming battle. She’s going to have to reschedule Saturday’s raid to Sunday unless …

1. We want to wait for her.

2. We go as Horde.

3. All of the above!

I’m fine with whatever everyone wants to do, just let Matty know and if you need to contact me in game I’m TotA#1973.

Whatever the decision, I know the Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild will prevail!

Fire Cat

Oh Cat, get down from there! Stop showing off! Geez, ever since she got Fandral’s Flamescythe with the Old Ladies’ Raiding Guild last night she’s been sitting on top of the Shrine of Seven Stars or parading around. No more having to remember to pick up some Burning Seed to turn into a fire cat. She is now an official permanent Fire Cat.

Cat, if you REALLY like Jarel you ought to get off of the bar before you set the place on fire and he loses his job. After Firelands, Cat left to go show off and Cim the Warlock joined them in Naxx.

It was a great evening as always. Two of the judges of Azerothian Life’s upcoming mog contest were there, Kamalia and Cymre. I’m really looking forward to seeing what people come up with.

At one point I said that my Warlock Cim, has anger issues. Cym said, ??? I said, Oh not Cym … Cim. I then realized that if I thought that made sense I’d probably best not have another glass of wine. But we were in Naxx by that time so a tipsy Warlock wasn’t in too much danger unless she slipped and fell into the green goo. The wine just caused a lot of purple demon wing flapping … she loves doing that. She even won a beautiful dress.

I’m looking forward to joining the old ladies when we mug next engage that stingy Staghelm for another kitty staff or whatever the old ladies think needs doing.

As always ladies, a pleasure. Thank you.

Deathwing Meets the Old Ladies

Yeah … Cim is … stunned. I think she’s checking to see if old Deathwing is hiding down there. It was another amazing evening meetup of the Old Ladies Raiding Guild. And I almost missed it.

I love football but it has a soporific effect on me if my team is not directly or indirectly involved. Doesn’t matter what time of day the game is, if it has no bearing on my team … snoring is likely to happen. Since MY team can’t fire their owner, the Colts vs. Chiefs wild card game means nothing to them … sssssnore … OMG! It’s 6:30pm, WAKE UP!

We first visited Firelands again where that Cat was up to her usual inadvertent attempts at tanking. Gurdrid, our tank for Firelands was very understanding and didn’t yell at that silly Cat. I don’t know, I blame it on always being alone and I think what’s going through Cat’s head is OMG! OMG! QUICK, KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS ME! HELP! I’M GOING TO DIE! FASTER, FASTER! Maybe she should change her profession to tank but considering she’s directionally challenged and everyone expects the tank to lead on, that probably wouldn’t work out.

Shocks were to follow as Ragnaros grows feet … I KNOW … in Heroic and doesn’t stay conveniently located so that Cat can happily stay in one spot whaling away on him. Thankfully we quickly put an end to THAT.

Cat was pouting because once again that ratbastard Staghelm did not drop a certain staff so she stalked back home and Cim the Warlock joined. To be fair to Cat it’s really because I hoped Cim would be less likely to cause trouble in Dragon Soul. Never having faced Deathwing or even read up on it the likelihood of me screwing up was GREAT.

I don’t raid, I don’t have helpful addons, I don’t know what my dps is because I’m afraid if I did know I’d die of embarrassment and never return. I was … concerned.

I had been happy that Neo, my Fenris/Dragonblight server mate had joined us for the evening. Gurdrid, after having to deal with cheeky cats, said she’d rather not tank Dragon Soul as like me, she’d not met Deathwing before, at least in there. Neoangalo the Warlock left us and Neostrike the Death Knight came in to tank for us.

It was wonderful, I could not see anything with all the tentacles waving and bad guys jumping around and blood running and … yeah … chaos. And through the chaos a Death Knight voice calmly directed us and WE PREVAILED.

I was stunned silent. Okay … yeah … I’m always silent but you know what I mean. Deathwing was dead. Something I’d never hoped to see. I think that’s when Cim ran over to check and make sure he wasn’t hiding. It was a lot like another WoW moment that meant a lot to me.

Cim didn’t want to leave. It was embarrassing. Thrall finally had to say … show’s over … move along. Thanks for the help … bye. That was incredible. Thank you everyone!