Twisted Nitwittery

I really don’t know how I do this, but I’ve totally borked up the whole weekend. In spite of the fact that I’m a mother with a mother I had no idea it was Mother’s Day weekend. Earlier this week I agreed to meet up with my mother on Sunday, as she wants to go underwear shopping which leads me to believe she doesn’t know either. Or maybe underwear shopping is sufficiently festive for her, I don’t know.

I’ve also REALLY screwed up on time zones too. I was extremely flattered to receive an email from Hydra, one of the hosts of The Twisted Nether Blogcast asking would I like to join them on May 12th at 8pm PT. Yes, right, let’s see, Pacific is three hours behind me, so yeah, that’s great. 5:00pm would work perfectly I thought, although I’m pretty boring. Yes, see what I DID THERE. Only this morning has it come to my attention that it really means 11:00pm my time.

I was already worried about the fact that I’m a horrible phone talker. I guess you could say I’m a taciturn phone talker, not long on chit chat. My phone conversations are generally like this.

Hello. What time should I be there. Great. Bye. Click.

Then I’ve been worrying about the allergy effect and the resulting snorting, sniffing, excessive throat clearing and mouth breathing. Charming. The only allergy medicine that works on me is Benedryl, but it also puts me to sleep, so I’d have to add snoring to the list.

I wake up almost every day between 4:00am and 4:30am, so 11:00pm is really way past my bedtime. So I’m thinking taking allergy medicine is way too risky. I’ve been giving some thought to buying a bunch of helium balloons, and talking only after inhaling helium to disguise my voice cause I really don’t like it.

So here are my worries.

boring, taciturn, snorting, sniffing, throat clearing, mouth breathing, snoring, annoying voice, asleep

If in spite of that, you’d like to join Hydra, Fimlys, and myself you can find all the information you need right here.

I can’t really remember ever having taken a nap in my life, but I think I might have to Saturday in the interest of the whole, staying awake thing. I don’t want to be rude.

Cat the Druid is excited of course, so she ran straight to Jarel Moor to tell him to be sure listen. Really, I should see if she could do it, she’s much better at this than I am. I’ll have to check on that, maybe they have Skype in Azeroth, it’s worth investigating.

Maybe I should have a glass of wine first. Or maybe not.

boring, taciturn, snorting, sniffing, throat clearing, mouth breathing, snoring, annoying voice, asleep, drunk, :O

Illusion and Loss

Okay, really Druid, I know it’s you. I can see your weapon AND you’re standing right next to that Human male. So we all pretty much figured out who you are, you’re not fooling anyone. Not quite the look you were hoping for, huh. Apparently it takes skills to use Potion of Illusion properly. She was probably going for a sexy Draenei look and the whole thing backfired on her. It’s okay though, she sees him every day after her daily appointment with Anzu. Better luck next time.

Yesterday pretty much sucked. I had to spend what seemed like hours on the phone with the billing department of a hosting company I’m trying to extricate myself from because once they were good, they were bought out, and now they’re really, really, awful. I thought I got it all worked out but I see this morning I have an invoice for the hosting I cancelled.

Then I made my check of Döra’s Log to see if she might have returned. Döra participated in what I call the Psyn/Vry Ironman Challenge last year. She was a great alternate leveler. One of her characters, an incredibly frugal Dwarf, Thriftee, leveled to 85 without spending one copper. I loved reading about Döra the level 1 Explorer and Thriftee and her Ironman. She stopped posting last year in October. I worried something was wrong, although I knew it was more than likely she had just moved on to another game.

Blog has been removed.

Yesterday that’s what I saw when I checked Döra’s Log. I hate being all emotional and weepy but that made me all emotional and weepy. I was pretty shocked at how bad I felt, I just wasn’t aware that it would upset me that much, but it did. She was not coming back. Other bloggers I read have left, but they’ve usually given a warning, had good reason, and their blog’s still there so they aren’t really gone.

I logged in to avoid more telephone calls to billing departments for a while. It occurred to me if you could see what character I’m playing you could pretty much tell what kind of mood I’m in. Characters like Lessismora or dual-boxing mean I’m in a bad/sad mood or I’ve had to deal with lots of human contact irl and need to be alone. Druid means I’m not, I’d never realized that before. She’s like the “social me.”

I hope Döra’s sitting in a Cantina somewhere like Tatooine, knocking back a few. That’s what I’m going to think anyway. There are days when I think, oh shut up, no one wants to read the crap you write. I just wanted to say if other bloggers feel that way at times, I DO want to read what you write. I very much do. In fact I’m apparently counting on a post being there.

I decided to cheer myself up by putting a rat on Navi’s shoulder. It’s OKAY. She said she likes them.

One Transcendent Moment

Yeah, I’m not talking about sex, not yet at least. Not even talking about being, yes, Kingslayers. Talking about something else entirely but I’m getting ahead of myself here, let me back up.

JD’s sendoff party started in Kara. All Sasche was worried about here was her clothing, as everyone looked just marvelous, and the only thing she’d transmogged was her hideous belt. And what is up with those Tauren minion whisperers?

Look at my minion! Navimie had my Felhunter entranced, he wouldn’t come when I called, he just ignored me, geez. And then I noticed that my Ancona Chicken decided that they preferred Kamalia to me! Well I never! Euphyley and I were left petless. It must be Navimie and Kamalia’s calming presence. Or something about us Undead makes them uncomfortable, nah, that’s silly. I don’t know why being together with everyone in pixel form was almost as good as actually meeting in person, but it was. Kara was great fun, I love that place. But now the second half of the sendoff was soon to start and I was kind of hoping a meteor would land in the backyard or some other acceptable excuse to … um … bail.

Oh dear … oh dear. Yeah, it doesn’t help that I’m a shy introvert either. Back when I started playing, WoW was my first MMO. I stupidly thought people would come together in groups and play, have fun. Not so much. By the time BC was drawing to a close I had enough of nerdraging and unpleasantness. And this was before LFD when it was moderately better, because by the time you got a group together you got to know people a little. I usually knew the names of their rl pets by the time the group was complete. Less anonymity, less likelihood of jackassery, but I still couldn’t take it. Druid went completely feral and pretty much stayed away from humanity.

Imagine you’re really gullible and someone tells you sex is sticking SOME part of you into a electrical socket. That’s how you do it. So you do it. Wow, not much fun. Ouch. Figure you did it wrong. Try it again. Crap. You really, more than likely, won’t try it too many times. You feel bad, you heard people talk about how they enjoy it but hey, that isn’t your experience so you quit trying. So yeah. I quit sticking things into the electrical socket of groups. I never raided, ever. I stopped doing anything other than a quick holiday boss.

So yeah. Arthas. Don’t know squat about Icecrown Citadel. I did view videos of the Arthas fight beforehand, but all that stuck was to be terrified of defiles and if you’re lucky enough to be killed by Arthas toward the end, DON’T RELEASE. Imagine my surprise to find there were like a gazillion other bosses in that place. Who knew!

In preparation I did install DBM but I was afraid it might scare the crap out of me more than help. Matty told me about GTFO so I installed that too, and still didn’t GTFO all that often but it helped.

I can’t believe how luxurious it feels to have someone heal you. No wonder DPS get crazy. And yes, you should fear defiles. The entire platform was a swirly black mass, really. My only option would have been to jump off, but I’m afraid of heights. I was my usual uncommunicative self.

As I’ve written about before, my set-up is a little unusual, not conducive to, you know, communicating, which isn’t usually a problem. And I missed a lot of chat because I was busy taking a total of 62 screen shots. I just couldn’t stop.

So when this happened I knew we’d done it. I just lay there basking in the glory of death. We’d done it. And I only got lost once. And no one put up those stupid numbers so I didn’t have to know how bad I did, it was just … fun. And you whisperers, thank you, you know who you are. And thanks to our fearless leader, Effy, who led us to take down the only expansion bad guy I really did miss not getting to see.

This was what I thought it would be like when I started playing WoW. This was what I had been looking for. It has taken almost six years to find it. So thank you JD. I’m glad you’re staying, but I’m also glad you almost left. Without you almost leaving I would never have known what it’s supposed to be like. Thank you all, Horde and Alliance, for a most wonderful evening.

A Farewell to Arms and Arthas

JD Kenada is leaving WoW. He has excellent reasons for his departure and I’m happy because he’ll still be blogging. But there is a PROBLEM. As a farewell to Azeroth he wants to storm Icecrown Citadel and kick Arthas’ butt. What a great idea JD, that’s excellent, good luck, I think … WHAT … me? Huh?

I have never been in a raid, well, I have but only with me. I recently had an epiphany of sorts about me and raiding which made me happy, and I don’t know why it took me five and a half years to have it, but thanks to Navimie I now know my place in WoW. But that’s another story for another time.

I commented on JD’s post saying he really wouldn’t want me along as I’d be no help dead, and his response was:

We could wipe for an hour on the first pull and I wouldn’t care so long as you come with us.

Oh man. I mean IT IS prophetic, but so damn nice of him to say. So yeah. Druid doesn’t even really know where it is so she thought she’d ask Tirion Fordring. She’s not that good with directions. But I think she found it, there seemed to be lots of people rushing in with great urgency.

So anyway, I thought I should tell JD he could count on me but I must WARN him what he’d be getting into, really, it’s only fair.

My excuses are legion, but I’ll try to keep it brief, just hit the highlights.

1. My performance would be strictly bush league, if that. I have never raided and I’m easily distracted by pretty colors and effects. I’ve noticed when I watch videos of raids I rarely notice bosses or anything, I’m just kinda groovin’ on the light show and sounds and the pretty colored puddles on the floor. Just saying.

2. I fall off things … a lot. From viewing a video this looks like a potential problem in this fight.

3. I run off things a lot. Yes, there’s a theme emerging here, I’ll get to it.

4. I get lost ALL THE TIME. Don’t know if that’d be an issue here but if I die the likelihood of you ever seeing me again is pretty low cause I’ll never be able to find you.

5. I only kitty Druid moderately well. As I’m usually alone, I tend to forget I can heal or bring the dead back to life, you have to poke me and yell at me to remind me, and then I think I only have about 52 mana.

Okay, this could go on and on, crappy gear, yada, yada, but I’ll get to the big one that’s the cause of a lot of the above.

6. At some point in the evening I can no longer SEE. This is part of why I fall and run off things, that and being a nitwit. I have very bad allergies so certain times of the year my contacts become unbearably painful to keep in. This can happen anytime between 5:00 and 8:00pm eastern depending on pollen count. And then you’ll be stuck with a blind raid noob Druid probably running about willy nilly, bumping into everything in there shouting, “Yay! Am I helping guys, huh, am I, is this the waaaaaaayyyyy … oops.”

A little off topic but this is also why I have an aversion to talking in vent. I sound like a Worgen … sniff, sniff … sniff … excessive throat clearing if I need to speak, sigh … charming.

So yeah, I got your back JD, just wanted to let you know what a dangerous position that is for you. So email will be incoming but again, seriously, I don’t mind being the last kid on the playground picked. If you find you have to use me to fill the last spot … pray for rain on the east coast!

A greater boon, of worth untold …

Matty at Blood & Sugar had an idea for a writing challenge:

So, what I would love to hear is a short piece, poem, limerick, drabble or ficlet, on how you obtained (or didn’t) your favorite weapon(s). Yes, this can be complete fiction, a wish if you will. A boon is a gift, a blessing, or object infused with supernatural aid qualities. You may interpret as you wish.

Matty’s pretty highbrow so I wanted to impress her. I figured if I used a piece of some impressive quote in the title it might distract her from the whole, I don’t think I have a favorite weapon thing, and the whole, well, never mind, you’ll see.

I really don’t have a favorite weapon. I looked at all the polearms available and really didn’t see anything I like. I think I’m a staff girl myself. But I can’t cross-transmog so what to do, what to do? I know! I’ve read about some of the trials and tribulations of Mog Madness contestants while trying to acquire either Marrowstrike or Glaive of the Pit for round two of Mog Madness, and by the way the results are in! Another incredible round!

So I thought I’d share their pain and give it a shot. Magtheridon … be afraid … be very afraid. I’m coming for you. I headed to Magtheridon’s Lair to see if he’d cough up the Glaive of the Pit for me. So we fought … and fought, and fought, fought, fought and fought. I answered the phone and we fought, I did my nails and we fought on. And then finally, after an excruciatingly (I hate it when the spell checker gives me a pass, I’m sure they’re wrong, I’m sure I didn’t manage to type excruciatingly properly twice) long time the big stupidhead started to keel over.

Crap, this was boring, retelling it is boring. I hope that jerk AT LEAST has the damn weapon on him. NO. HE DID NOT! I was somewhat mollified to see he at least had a Chestguard of the Fallen Defender I could use. Now I have my third piece of the Malorne Harness. I know, I’ll go try them on. I don’t have a favorite weapon but I think I like this Tier 4 set. There, maybe that’ll be entertaining.

So I’m standing there in the Aldor Bank in Shattrath trying this stuff on with my Mechanical Chicken, asking the tellers what they think and you know what? I’m trying it on with my ACTUAL favorite weapon and I don’t think I’m that into that look anymore. Geez, I am really batting zero on EVERYTHING. No favorite weapon story for Matty. Kinda lost interest in my whole Malorne Harness thingy. How can I save this. I KNOW! I KNOW! I’ll go shopping, that’s the ticket!

Success! I found the Headdress of the Sleeper for only 5.99 gold! Can you believe it! Such a deal! I was really excited, who doesn’t like to hear a story about a great AH deal! Of course now I have to figure out what to wear with it, but really the hard part of the outfit is done. The hat. Always the hardest for a Night Elf. Okay, that’s the end of the story.

I will now be motionless in Stormwind for the next few hours consulting MogIt. MogIt is without a doubt one of the greatest boons to transmoggers everywhere. I will stand here with all these other motionless characters until I find out what works well with the Headdress of the Sleeper. They’re all either doing the same thing or Stormwind has been struck with some sort of freezing disease. Or yeah, they could be trolling chat.

The Juicy Bear Burger of Love

Sigh … is she planning on wearing that outfit forever? I guess since she won something while wearing it, the chances of her even taking it off to AT LEAST send it to the cleaners are pretty slender. And what is she doing carrying around the Morningstar of Heroic Will? Okay, what is going on Druid? Is this some sort of vain attempt to impress people … cause you know … you’re failing badly. Everyone knows you don’t raid and I’m pretty sure that mace is not meant for a Druid. You look silly.

A present for whom? You have an assignation? ORLY? Look, I know you’ve been carrying a torch for Jarel Moor for some time but might I point out, ONCE AGAIN, he’s level 30, you’re 85 and I don’t see that ending well. I mean for heaven’s sake how would he even get here. WHAT? You’re going to buy a Vial of the Sands to fly him here to this hidden glade to meet and I can’t stop you?

I certainly can stop you, if you think I’m letting go of 50,000 gold so you can turn into a Sandstone Drake and fly Jeral Moor up here and frolic about doing Elune knows what, you’re sadly mistaken.

Look handler, I don’t show up in the real world and rain on your parade so just back off. I have my own gold saved up and I’m doing it. I’m going to stand here by this giant shaft of love … er … shaft of light, I meant shaft of Elune’s Light. Jeezy peezy, oh grow up people. And when Jeral sees me by the Moonwell he’ll … ENOUGH!!!

That’s enough; I don’t want to hear anymore. Okay Druid. I’m logging off. What you do on your own time with your own money with WHOEVER is your business. You’ve made your point. Geez, I don’t know where I went wrong with that girl. Dealing with her wears me out. Maybe before I log out I’ll stop by The Slaughtered Lamb for a Juicy Bear Burger. Come to think of it, I believe that’s Jeral’s place of employment. Perhaps I will have a little chat with him about the dangers of toying with the affections of Druids who have Cat Form. I mean that’s not really interfering THAT MUCH, is it?

Note: This post is in response to Big Bear Butt’s Writing Challenge. One, two, three, four, five, six and seven. I think I’m done! I’m off to check Bear’s post now for stories and rhymenations!

The Mage Conspiracy Document

Yes, a bunch of my failed Mages, and these are just the ones that survived the big delete. I thought it was because I’m … well fail at mageing but through a little investigative reporting by Ironsally, she’s managed to uncover a huge hoax perpetrated by Gnomes, yes Gnomes, who really aren’t what they seem  …  wait I’m getting ahead of myself here, I’m all excited about being confrontational.

To start at the beginning, Gnomeaggedon posted this challenge.

Challenge: Find one of my old posts from the 830 odd posts I have written and choose to agree or disagree with it. Compare life during TBC with life pre-MoP. Hate me, go on, hate me – ill love you for it!

I commented that I probably couldn’t go the “disagree” route because I’m not confrontational. I’m more of an appeaser. I blame that on my mother who always told me “if you can’t say anything nice, just be quiet.” This got me put in a “special” group in first grade because I never spoke. My mother got confrontational with them though, and put an end to that nonsense. So anyway, I’d like to be confrontational, just once.

While browsing Gnomeaggedon’s blog I did actually come to the point where I took exception to something, in fact I disagreed with his WHOLE BLOG. PvPing with a Mage, I mean a whole Battle Mage section, really, as though that’s possible. I mean it can’t possibly be ME who’s a fail Mage. Something’s going on here. I always thought the Gnomes were up to something devious, I just wasn’t sure what … well now I know and I’m here to reveal it to the world and I’m not sure, but I think the probability is high that Gnomeaggedon is in fact the ringleader of this dastardly plot.

Yes, can you believe it? Ironsally unearthed this shot in a secret archive Gnomeaggedon keeps. He’s taking credit for the Alliance AND THE GNOMES for the moon walk and everyone knows the whole thing was staged and shot in the Motion Picture District of Stormwind. Nobody’s ever walked on the moon, ridiculous. The link? I seem to have misplaced it, but look, there he is!! If anyone could walk on the moon it would mean they aren’t even Gnomish, or Human, or Orc, but alien.

Not convinced, I have more. Don’t think the Gnomes are really aliens who have special powers that allow them to Mage? Well look at this, another telling article where they divulge their nefarious plot to hide among us until they strike, they have an appearance guide! Aliens hiding as cute little Gnomes, right here in Azeroth!

There’s more, this one saddens me, as you can see by the comments even I was at first taken in. Imraith Dos Santos, yes, one of them. And don’t be fooled, if you see a Human or Troll Mage, means nothing. They can disguise their appearance. Good at Mageing? It’s an alien. Case in point, note the comments on Navimie’s post about her Ironman. That’s right; Big Bear Butt accidentally let on that he’s good at being a Mage.  “Bigironbutt the draenei Mage, which is just inside my comfort zone.” Sad but true, our beloved Bear must be one of THEM.

Oh, there were early signs but we missed them.

If you listen closely you’ll hear Cranius frequently allude to his “stature.” All these years we took it to mean his high station as a killing machine while all the time he was actually bemoaning the fate of all Gnomes, he’s short in his true form. And look at the chorus … Gnomes.

Still not convinced? Well another inquiring mind found evidence that they aren’t just up to no good here in Azeroth. In a telling exposé Vrykerion uncovered the truth about Jedi right here. If all that hasn’t convinced you I have one last irrefutable piece of evidence.

Yes, a high level meeting between Gnomeaggedon and his handler. Need I say more? I don’t know if it’s too late. I don’t know if we can save Azeroth from complete alien takeover but we must try! Gnomeaggedon, you’ve been confronted. We will stop at nothing to foil your evil plans! Aarrrgghhh! My Mage Druid is coming for you!

Pssst … Meme the Sixth, past it on!

I happened to be watching Twitter when I saw that Jaded Alt had a new post up. Oh good, I went to see what Windsoar’s post was about and she had received a meme from Gnomeaggedon. It was about one of my favorite things! Screen shots.

The challenge is to open your sixth sub-folder in your screenshot folder and pick your sixth image to share. Windsoar’s screen shot is a beautiful tree action shot. I hoped, hoped, my sixth would be a good one.

I have no idea why I took this one, maybe I just wanted a reminder of Skettis because I was moving out to fight in Northrend. I’m just glad it wasn’t one of my “accidental shots” that I can’t bare to get rid of. I still can’t figure out how I manage to accidentally hit the Prtsc key but I must. They are kind of like those shots on my digital camera of feet or lampshades.

So that’s mine now tag, you’re it!

Sugar & Blood

The Harpy’s Nest

Effraeti’s RP

Bubbles of Mischief

Moonkin Journeys

WoW Rare Spawns

Thanks Windsoar, I’m looking forward to seeing what everyone finds in their sixth of sixth!

Ode to the Ancient, Best WoW Gift Ever

What’s this! I’m talking BEFORE the pictures? Well that’s new, but there’s a reason. Recently Navimie of The Daily Frostwolf had a blogoversary? Blogiversary? I never know which but anyway, instead of getting gifts, Navimie offered gifts to anyone who commented on her post. Are you kidding!! A Navi gift just for commenting! I of course commented and then I hoped and waited and hoped. I saw some of the other gifts for bloggers who commented before I did. I selfishly thought, oh please don’t use up your rhyming mojo before you get to me. Oh please, oh please!

I was also happy I visited her blog that day because she talked about some of her most popular posts and one of them I had missed. Horde Alphabet Book for my daughter, which I love and I hope some talented WoW artist illustrates it. So without further ado, I give you my wonderful WoW gift from the talented Navimie!

This is my best WoW gift ever. I had told Navimie that I was rhyme-challenged and I so admired people with that skill. And OMG does Ironsally love her now. Ironsally likes the spotlight and she’s been fuming that’s she’s been sitting in Stormwind not getting any attention, yes, she’s not been pleased with me lately but thanks to Navimie she got to come out and bask in her Ironman glory.

I’m sitting here alone, oh God, if the dogs hear that they’ll be furious. What I meant was I don’t see HUMANS much in the day time, but I don’t really feel alone, I have the WoW Blogger Community here with me … me and the dogs … we got company.