The Grand Altish Chart of (in)Competence

Posted in Alts with tags , , on January 24, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

liwuhuhWait … what? Me? Well yeah I know I’m level 100 now but … you see … some of us leave the serious fighting to the cat and the warlock. I am so NOT going to Socrethar’s Rise and if you have a problem with that mister, you better talk to my handler. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s old Commander’s fault.

Yeah … they might pull my Altoholic Guild card on me. Some of … well pretty much all of those I consider alts aren’t … well, let’s say up to snuff. Some more than others. Liwu up there is pretty good, she just doesn’t have gear yet, while others … really bad.

I gave up on leveling my shaman the traditional way. At 97 I threw up my hands in disgust. Never should have changed her to elemental but oh well, water under the bridge. She will limp to 100 by doing fishing dailies in places she won’t get her butt kicked. She will continue gardening and mining for the vast sum of 30xp and hope the critters don’t kill her. Oh, and beat up Ashlei’s pets every day. However long it takes … I give up.

This got me wondering, is there a pattern? Is it the class or just that I don’t spent that much time learning enough about the alts? So I embarked on a serious scientific study. Really, it’s like I’m an alt theorycrafter. I know! I can’t believe either!

mediochartAh ha! There is a trend appearing! Okay first, I don’t know what it is about plate wearers. I don’t get that. Maybe it’s because I think they’ve got all that plate so yeah, I don’t need to pay attention, they’ll be alright.

Look at the mage. I got her to level 53 in Vanilla and one day she had a breakdown and begged me to let her be the bank alt where she’s lived happily ever after. I remember like two times she was fun and both times it was with a group. NEVER alone.

It appears that I can’t play ranged dps who have to learn to be defensive. Warlocks are fine as they hide behind their demons, same with hunters. Rogues, Druids and Monk are okay, I don’t know why. Apparently I’d rather be killed or kill quickly and get it over with … not drag the whole thing out.

Anyway, I’m exhausted from the whole being scientific thing. I need something relaxing. I know! Let’s get the fifth one going! Hunter Zor! You’re up!

The Jewelcrafter’s Consolation Prize

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on January 17, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

jewelcraftingIs it just me? Where are the glory days of creating elegant mounts that would be the envy of all. Huh? Well yeah … no … I never actually made any of them but still … I could have. It just seems jewelcrafting has become a little underwhelming.

You can make jewelry but sales will be limited by the 3 crafted limit. You can make gems although few have actual … you know … slots for gems. And then we have the fun items like Prismatic Focusing Lens, yeah I know. Big whoop.

I just imagine whoever was in charge of jewelcrafting for WoD going whoa, hey! We kinda stepped in the dogs business here … crap … we’ve got to do something or Jewelcrafters are going to rise up with their jeweled pitchforks of nerdrage and come after us. Damn, THINK THINK! What can we do?

WAIT! I have it! Gold! We’ll give them gold!

So hence was born the garrison jewelcrafting daily! Once you have a Level 2 Gem Boutique and assign a follower with the jewelcrafting trait to it you gain access to a variety of dailies that reward a big bag of gold.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a big bag of gold but I can’t help feel I’m being placated for the lack of useful or fun things to make.

But did it work, you say? Did this appeal to your dark, avaricious side work? Did you embrace jewelcrafting, lured by easy money?

Well HELL YEAH! They dodged the bullet on this one at least for me, every time I pick up my hush money I think, fun jewelcrafting items get old, but my precious, precious, gold is FOREVER HAHAHAHAHA!

Well yeah … until I spend it all.

Seriously Nat and Sightseeing Pays Off

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , , on January 16, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

deadnatSeriously Nat, seriously? I know it wasn’t that nice of me to call you a deranged stalker the other day but this kind of childish behavior certainly isn’t going to make me think any better of you. You need to listen to constructive criticism and learn from it.

Ever since I made just a teeny tiny comment about his alcohol consumption Nat has taken to showing up and dieing at my feet. For Elune’s sake Nat! I used to hold you in high regard but these puerile pranks are ridiculous. Nat? NAT!

Poor Cat, she can’t seem to get any peace while fishing for lunkers, it’s almost like Nat is trying to sabotage her.

blackmamCim decided to head to EoE for another shot at a Drake. She took a taxi from Dalaran and as she flew over Wintergrasp she had an idea. In Wrath they all stayed out of Wintergrasp except for the fishing daily and no one had ever seen the Vault of Archavon. Alliance had control, so she decided to visit on her way back to Dalaran.

Cim did not receive the Azure Drake once again … oh well … time for some sightseeing, and off she went to check out the Vault.

For all her interest in ponies, she did not know there was a mount to be had in there. Imagine her surprise when the first boss she knocked over dropped the Reins of the Grand Black War Mammoth. She’s now down to only five more to reach 200 mounts!

So there’s something to be said for sightseeing, goofing around really paid off for her.

And … um … Cim? I thought you said you wanted to show the mount off for the Firebeards, you know, Keegan and Fanny? I don’t see them. All I see is you, perilously close to crushing that stable … OH! So that’s who you’re showing off for. Maybe he’d like a Mammoth ride, why don’t you ask.

Jeez … she’s getting almost as bad as Cat. A flirty Druid doesn’t seem so bad but a flirty Warlock … that’s just wrong.

Frostwolves!

Posted in Battle Pets with tags , , , on January 14, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

realnaviI received a whisper from Navimie of the Daily Frostwolf. She knows of my fondness for dogs and had heard I opened a shelter for homeless dogs. She said she had one for me!

Very excited I sent a representative to Saufang and saw it was a Frostwolf Pup, I should have known Navi would have connections with the Frostwolf Orcs.

I tried to name him Navi Frostwolf but they weren’t having any of that … okay … um … I know, I’ll name the puppy Navi Pup. I was so happy to have this little pup but I don’t think anyone was happier than my Frostwolf Ghostpup, finally, a friend to play with! Yeah, some of the other dogs are old and grumpy with no time to play with a puppy. Navi Pup feels at home now and Ghostpup has never been happier.

I remember the days when I had just one little wolf pet that I pretended was my dog, now my garrison is filled with little canines! Navi some day you should come visit … yeah … oh … you have to watch where you step. I’ll have to get the stable guy to get out his scooper, sorry.

sasnavi

But Navi’s gift didn’t just make me happy, Sasche was thrilled! Yeah, I know but really that IS an Undead’s thrilled look. She’s been sitting in Pandaria waiting for the Alliance characters to make way for her and now she has something to do. She took the puppy out for training and a ride.

You made us all very happy Navi, thank you. Aka’Magosh!

Illustrated Week in Warlords Review

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , , , on January 13, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

golothasThis is really concerning me. Auctioneer Golothas has been my go-to guy since the beginning. Okay there was that brief time during the zombie invasion where I went upstairs hoping to avoid detection but other than that, Golothas is my guy. Using that other guy over there whose name I don’t even know just seems wrong.

And this week he sat down … and he’s not getting up. What’s wrong Golothas? Is he depressed? Do his feet hurt? What is up? I’ve got my fingers crossed that the server maintenance today will give him a shot of B-12 or whatever he needs.

patstalkNow I thought it was going to be fun to have Nat Pagle visit me but it’s turning out more like having a deranged stalker. Every time, I mean EVERY time he does it when Cat’s in her garrison it scares the bejeebers out of her. Wait! Who? Oh … it’s Nat. He’s somewhat lacking as a conversationalist too. It’s kind of like when you really like a singer or an actor and then you have the misfortune of hearing them talk and then you wish you hadn’t …

catclawCat was really excited about getting Claws of Shirvallah. She tried it out for about an hour and then I made her switch back to Bloodtalons. Apparently I identify with Cat’s cat form more than her Night Elf form, I couldn’t come to terms with being that shape and his posture kinda gave me a backache. And oh, she’s now male and I traditionally seem to have trouble playing males judging by the abundance of low level males I have stashed around the serververse.

So yeah, kind of weird. They mucked about with her Night Elf look and although not happy, I seem to be dealing BUT not so the cat! Cat was just wrong being menacing. I mean a cat that stealths around so she won’t have to kill unnecessarily just wouldn’t look that scary. So no Claws of Shirvallah for her.

newponyI’m putting this shot here for those times I feel all whiny when a pony doesn’t drop or I don’t get something I think I need. To remind myself that I have, on occasion, been in the right place at the right time … it has happened.  Nakk the Thunderer spawned right next to me while I was deciding whether I needed to trap for fur or leather and what’s more, there were even people in the zone so I got a quick, easy 100% drop Bloodhoof Bull! So … note to self … remember that, you DO get lucky sometimes.

nightcottageLastly, another server merge perk. I was always so envious of other people’s beautiful night screen shots that I never had. Now since my eastern time server merged with Dragonblight a west coast server and adopted their time zone I have them. It’s a bright sunny day here on the east coast but it’s 3:00am in Draenor. I now have pretty starry night screen shots. It’s the little things that count a lot or else it just doesn’t take much to please me. I guess I’m the gaming equivalent of a cheap date.

Alliance Primal Trader Location

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on January 8, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

primaltrader2I recently became aware that I have become a lazy blogger. I used to periodically look through my search terms to find out what people were looking for. I mean I even had a series, Ask the Ancient full of useful information … okay, alright … it was mostly a lot of bunk but at least I made the EFFORT back then.

I accidentally saw my search terms and I was surprised at the number of people looking for Ashley Zerep, Primal Trader extraordinaire so in an effort to mend my lazy ways I bring you Ashely!

In a level 2 garrison she’s on the right on the way out of the garrison.

primaltrader3In a level 3 garrison she’s on the left if you’re facing your Town Hall. Honestly she is but she’s kinda hiding behind a lamp post and sometimes your followers get in the way but she’s there.

I don’t have the locations for the Horde Primal Trader as my Horde characters have yet to start on their journey to Draenor, the selfish Alliance characters are hogging all the time, shame on them.

So … whew … I’ve made an attempt to atone for my laziness. Gotta go, maybe someone brought me something back from a mission!

Communique from Commander Chibi Cat

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on January 5, 2015 by tomeoftheancient

comcatFINALLY! Finally she who must be obeyed has seen fit to get me my own chibi. Apparently you have to reach the rank of Commander to be so honored, I think it’s long overdue and I love it! Thank you Coolidge of Pali Doodles, it’s wonderful!

Since I’m here and she who must be obeyed doesn’t seem that interested lately in posting maybe I’ll do a post. Hmm … let’s see … oh, I’ve been spending a lot of time at my garrison getting to know the people. I met Lantresor of the Blade a long, long time ago in Nagrand. Now that he’s working in my garrison I was shocked to find he’s kind of a whiner.

“How long are we going to be cooped up in this garrison?” “I miss the plains of Nagrand.” Jeez Lantresor, we’re fighting the Iron Horde here, you’ve got to expect to make a few sacrifices.

And then there’s Kyra Goldhands my garrison banker. She’s really nice and I like her but it’s evident that she took this job because of battle fatigue. I mean I visit her every day and she SHOULD know me by now but frequently she greets me with a cheery, great to meet you!

There’s a problem there, could be the result of a war wound, you never know.

Oh! And Cim said she got to the bottom of Kaylie McDonald’s frequent disappearances from the Tailoring Emporium. It seems Cim built her Salvage Yard right next to it and Kaylie … for SOME reason … finds it neccesary to use the workbench there … yeah, I’m not buying it. I think she’s sweet on old Hennick Helmsley who works there, that’s what I think.

I’m not one to judge, I’ve been known to appreciate male humans myself.

Oh man, it’s bad enough that she’s not posting and now she’s calling me saying we need to trap for savage blood. Maybe this will wear off soon.

In the meantime take a look at these chibis, you might recognize a few, I know I did! Thanks again Cool!

 

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