Archive for Alts

Have Gun … er, Freaking Giant Two-hander, Will Travel

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on March 17, 2016 by tomeoftheancient


Oops, oops, oops. Wrong Paladin. Yep, Luz had been 100 for a couple of days now and she sure did travel fast. Hang on a second, let me see if I’ve got something … ah, yes here we go.


Like I said, she travels fast. I remember during the flying kerfuffle people against flying said it breaks their … yep … immersion. I remember thinking why don’t they just not fly then.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha … cough … I’m sorry … I see now.

I’m always saying, it’s the journey not the destination. Yada yada yada blah blah blah.

So what did I do just because I could? Loaded old Luz up with 10 heirlooms to 60 and 7 up to 90. And then waiting for her at 91 were three crafted 5/6 pieces of gear. She got whiplash the levels went so fast, and throughout she was an unstoppable superhero.

The true test would be hitting Tanaan in 640 iLevel. Well, she’s no longer a superhero but I like her just fine in fact I think she’s overtaken at least two other characters in the hierarchy of mains, sub-mains and so forth. I don’t know why I had such trouble with Paladins before. I think it was a personality thing, I  guess Luz and I just get along.

I’m sad to admit I didn’t have faith. I didn’t bother getting any professions for her as I doubted she’d make it. There is some cussing going on right about now because it looks like her time waiting for Legion will be spent, not making the world a safer place but picking up ore.

I told her it’s all good, she just hit 225 mining. She wasn’t amused.

So now what?

Get to 2000 pet battles for the monument? Archaeology?

Maybe try the impossible.

My first attempt at Mage ended with her retirement before hitting 60 back in Vanilla.

Warrior, Paladin and Mage, can’t seem to get them.

Pettifog? Pettifog? You still out there? Want to give this a try?


Who are you? Who, who, who, who?

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on May 9, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

whoruI feel like I’m in WoW hibernation or something. Unless I happen to run into someone in a cave, there’s not a lot to talk about right now. I think … you know something that really bothers me? When I was young people would call me “hun.” Then I became “ma’am.” NOW I’M HUN AGAIN! I am not your hun, in fact I’m a big curmudgeon who slaughters beasts and evil doers on a daily basis. BY THE HUNDREDS! So unless you mean the Attila kind of hun, I’m not one.

Anyway …  so I really, really hate mornings. I have to spend an extended period of time looking directly at my face which is something I try to avoid at all costs. If I don’t see me, my mental image of me is stuck somewhere around thirty-two. Once I put my contacts in, it’s DAMN! WHO DID THIS! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE! Who the hell trapped me in here! LET ME OUT!

As often happens I thought about my characters. I know they’re all me but they’ve developed very distinct personalities without any conscious effort on my part. Cat the Druid is my favorite, she’s kind and silly and spends most of her time playing with her pets and trying to get exalted with everybody. She wants to be liked. I’m not really Cat.

Cim the Warlock is me in a permanent bad mood. All she wants to do is kill every damn thing that doesn’t kill her first. Again, me sometimes. Usually after spending hours trying to talk to a human representative of a company on the phone. But not really me.

Some of my characters are cheeky, some are shy but it occurred to me that the closest match is Sasche the Warlock.

ghosttimespastWhat was she like before … does it haunt her? Through no fault of her own, whatever self she remembers is trapped inside her Forsaken body. Does she avoid mirrors too? She’s pretty quiet … whatever thoughts of the past she has, she doesn’t share but I can’t help but wonder what she was like before.

I felt bad for feeling sorry for myself because Sasche has it way worse than I do. Nevertheless, I have taken to wearing my Helm of the Fierce Bison for … you know … fortitude. Just in case I encounter a mirror. SHIT! WHO’S … oh … it’s me. I can’t even imagine how Sasche feels.

Mysteries of the Isle and His Hair was Perfect or When Alts go Astray

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on April 11, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

turtlepocketYeah the Timeless Isle is a mysterious place for sure. The biggest unsolved mystery to Rose is why do turtles need pocket change. What’s that about? It’s one of those mysteries of life, like where does my dog keep his little doggie wristwatch. I know he has one.

Everyday, 4:30am is wake up call. 9:00am walk, noon lunch, 4:00pm his dinner. He gives us the rest of the evening off. Daylight saving time changes do not affect this, so where’s he hiding the watch is what I want to know … mysteries … I know.

kaelthperfectAnd I’m having an alt problem. The plan was for Kealth to start Paladining as soon as we got him some nice heirlooms and there he sits … level six. Doing nothing but looking pretty.

Come on man! You’ve got the chest, shoulders, weapon, the ring and two trinkets. Let’s get moving okay? Oh for heavens sake, your hair is PERFECT! Let’s do this thing, alright? Geezzzz …

dkpissedYes Janinna … I’m sorry you don’t like the posting you got but somebody has to do those dailies to get those mounts. I promise, if you do those dailies and get the mounts you’ll get to go somewhere tropical next. No kidding, I know an Isle where even the turtles carry money. So see? Please do the dailies so that some day we can have 200 mounts, okay?

Yeah … yeah … you got  me. It’s all true but also a thinly veiled excuse to put music I wanted to listen to here. I know … I know … but cut me a break, I’ve just spent an hour on the phone trying to get the bank to change my last name back to the correct one. They made a typo and left out a space. So now it’s like I’m:

Catwynn Nightriverjtten instead of Catwynn Nightriver.

I know. And everyone at the bank I’ve talked to over the course of months says, we’ll that’s stupid. YES! YES IT IS! So can you fix it?

Apparently not. I know! I’ll threaten to take our vast sums of money out of their bank! That should scare the living crap out of them!



A Tale of Two Druids

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on April 2, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

catcatI don’t really have much to say, I’m stalling. I hate grocery shopping, I think I would love it if I could buy what I want … but NO. I have to buy twigs and berries and stay away from the ice cream section so … not fun.

I did notice that Cat and Rose are decidedly different. Cat is kinda pouting right now. She’s holed up in Halfhill not even planting or anything. Mostly laying there next to Jogu the Drunk taking in the sun. She’s mad because I made her let the others borrow her pets and battle them. They need valor, she doesn’t.

When Cat was on the Timeless Isle I think she went up to the top once to get the chests and once to get the Censer of Eternal Agony, that’s it. She wasn’t going to waste time killing anything that didn’t drop leather. And she couldn’t be bothered getting exalted with Emperor Shaohao for the Cloud Serpent either, she let Cim do that.

Now poor Rose is embarrassed that she still has a boost trinket, I don’t think there are any she can buy as she does nothing to earn JP. That leaves the Time-Lost Artifact as the only fairly accessible trinket but I forgot how long getting to honored can take. So she’s now spending her time beating up Burning Beserkers. I don’t think Cat would ever have done that. Between you and me she’s a little lazy … but of course I love her.

And oh … Rose had an idea! She thinks your different battle pets should give you a buff. Cinder Kitten could maybe give you the fire cat form while it’s out, it would beat having to beat up Majordomo Staghelm for the staff.

She likes Cinder Kitten to accompany her while killing the Beserkers cause she thinks it embarrasses them to be bested by little kitties. She’s so funny. Rose is working on ideas for the other pets and … oh okay.

I better quit stalling. Time to acquire food. No Burning Beserkers for Rose right now, I’ll try to think of it as a quest … maybe that will help. If I complete it my reward will one of those teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, little cups of gelato. There, that should work.




They’re Out of Control

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on March 29, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

serpentflyWell, out of MY control anyway. Logically I should be in control but it never seems to work out that way. The deal with booster Rose was she’d gain revered with the Shado-Pan and The August Celestials for the enchanting recipes and then do low level mining to help out the young jeweler. I THOUGHT this was understood.

Yes Rose, it’s wonderful that you got the recipes, well done … um … what are you doing there? Cloud Serpent Riding? You don’t need … okay … alright, but then it’s back to the old world and mining. Are we clear?

Geez … she kinda guilt tripped me there. She said since she has to do the grunt work at the very LEAST she should be able to have a fancy ride. I guess that’s fair. It won’t take that long, the jeweler can wait a bit. No harm done.

roseisleShe’ll be done in no time and then … ROSE! What are you doing on the Timeless Isle! You don’t need top of the line Timeless Superstore clothes to mine copper! iLevel 490ish is more than adequate … damn, she stealthed on me. This type of behavior reminds me an awful lot of someone else. Kind of cheerful passive aggression or something. Is this a Druid thing?

catlaughI’ll ask Cat. What are you smirking about? I wanted to ask about Rose … what about the Celestial Tournament? What do you mean, how’d that go? Well we won. It doesn’t matter how many tries … we won.

I can’t believe this. Cat’s giving me a lot of grief over the fact that I scoffed about thinking she was the best pet battler. This week I let Lokkan the Shaman do the tournament as she could use the valor. She hit a few bumps. Cat always leaves Yu’la last as she’s the easiest, so did Lokkan. And she failed miserably. Luckily she had enough pets to make another team and squeaked by.

Alright, I’ll admit it! You’re the best pet battler … there … you happy Cat?

I don’t think I need to ask Cat about Rose, I think she just proved my point. Smarty pants, cheeky behavior? Definitely a kitty Druid thing.

This is demoralizing. I don’t seem to have any control over my characters. It’s almost like real life. I’m going to go hang with the dogs for a while, at least THEY do what I want … mostly … nearly always … ALRIGHT … sometimes.


Boosted … Now What?

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on March 25, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

boostedRose in her 90 boost outfit which she wore for five seconds. I only had one teeny, tiny issue at first with the boost. Flight paths, she doesn’t have any. She wanted to get right on getting rep with The August Celestials for her enchanting patterns. We were doing some grumbling on the ride through Krasarang Wilds when … eureka! Rose, we forgot! We can fly! Yeah, so flight paths not such a problem.

And I had been worrying about what the top level enchanting rod was going to cost her and was happily surprised that her crappy old low level rod works with 600 patterns. Whew, thanks for that.

But now what. I will not give in to the seduction of an instant jewelcrafter. No more boosts, they’ve got to do it the old-fashioned way. But who? Goblin Rogue Phanta’s the jeweler and is at level 22 but I really wanted to try getting a Belf Male leveled.

onepallyHere’s Kaelth. He’s also a Paladin, another class I’ve been incapable of leveling.

Hi Kaelth!

You should pick me, the ladies love me, as soon as I got here I was surrounded by these beautiful creatures, they can’t get enough of  me … what? OH! My mistake! No, I’m sorry sir … I just thought … I meant no disrespect.

Man, he’s already causing trouble. I don’t know.

I also have a theory about why I can’t play plate wearers. I’ve noticed with the exception of the Warlock most of my characters are played like this:

Ohshit! oshit! … almost dead … get him! get him! shit shit shit … quick … heal … ohshit ohshit … okay whew … we did it.

Leather wearers kill fast and die fast, at least with me at the controls. This keeps my attention focused. I need to pay attention. Tota the Warrior is stuck at 60 because my mind would wander off in between blows. She doesn’t need me, she’ll take care of it. What should I make for dinner. Yeah, I lose focus. I seem to need the threat of imminent death to keep my attention.

Feral Druid, Windwalker Monk and Rogue I pay attention. Oh, and the Elemental Shaman’s the same way but I think that’s just because I don’t know what I’m doing.

So I really want to give this a try, he’d be my first 90 Male AND the first ever Paladin. Although I want him to do it the old-fashioned way I’m not a COMPLETE leveling purist. I would really like to have at least three heirlooms. I have them for ret spec but wanted to try prot.

I don’t want to wait for the Darkmoon Faire and the only other option is for Cat to spend around five or six thousand gold on the guild heirlooms and ship them off to him. Then I’d REALLY have to level him.

Time will tell if he can sweet talk Cat into that. It’s possible, it IS Cat we’re talking about.

Boost Dawdling … Guilty

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on March 20, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

siliI pre-purchased Warlords of Draenor as soon as I heard it was available. A boost to 90 was something I have no interest in but a profession boost for my Horde was something I wanted. It kinda caught me with my pants down. I was not prepared.

The two characters who were potential boosts were level 10 and 29. A Warlock and a Druid. Once again the ugly sister gets the shaft. I had promised Grak she’d get the boost but Rose was 29 so she’s getting it. I’ll make it up to Grak somehow.

So yeah … how’s that going? I realized we’re dawdling. We aren’t making much headway, it’s like Rose isn’t in any hurry to get to 60. In some ways that’s good, I’ve been able to get to know her and I’ll admit I was somewhat surprised.

dancingI had thought she was a very serious type, I mean she is a Guardian of Cenarius. The Guardians have a lot of important work to do … and she’s what? Dancing? Oh … okay. Yeah, I see Rose. I guess you couldn’t pass up dancing with your double in Everlook. Besides being gear clones, there was even a resemblance … long lost cousins maybe?

Okay, let’s get going. Enough foolishness … you have to LEAVE Winterspring now Rose. Things to do, places to go. Let’s make it happen. Chop chop.

dancing2So she gets to Silithus finally. I figure she’ll have a lot of important work to do for the Cenarion Circle. So right away they give her an important assignment. Take out Vyral the Vile. She goes down in that scary cavern filled with dangerous Twilight nutcases and … dances? Rose!

Yup, there’s a ??? level Alliance down there. Probably finishing Loremaster or something. As soon as they see each other they break out in dance. I did not see this one coming. I did not see Rose as a party girl.

I was expecting a serious-minded, no nonsense, let’s get the work done character. Instead I seem to have a party Tauren … must be a Druid thing. If I didn’t know better I’d think Rose and Cat were related.

Anyway, Sasche? Hang on, your Enchanter/Miner is on her way. It just might take a little longer than we expected since she’s dancing her way to 60.

The Standoff and Zero to Sixty

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on March 6, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

standoffYeah, Cat really hates the Timeless Isle now but it was the last push to get the Elemental Shaman’s pants completed. This Blood Elf saw her fighting a turtle and came over and stood there watching. Uh oh. Yep, a leather thief. He was jabbering away at her in a language she doesn’t understand and she couldn’t communicate.

If she ever planned on going back I would have made her a macro that said, /yell Look you nincompoop you are not the only skinner in the world!

So she just stood there refusing to loot … then she realized SHE was being a nincompoop so she ran off for a while and they lost interest and she resumed. She even bought a overpriced Spirit of War to end that 28 day grind one day early. There … never again.

sneakycatShe did find a use for all those coins that she doesn’t need. She buys Scrolls of Challenge and stealths over and summons Archiereus of Flame whenever someone on the Isle needs a rare. Only problem is when you’ve got your UI turned off to take screen shots you can’t see someone else approaching. Yeah, he pissed off this guy and she died. So be careful. Thought she was so clever.

Anyway … the pants grind and a recent Grumpy Elf post got my attention focused back on my Horde group. I had made a bunch of alts to be Sasche’s support staff … they aren’t moving very fast. Someone must step forward and pick up the flag. Someone MUST get to level sixty to take advantage of the profession boost. It would be criminal not to.

Okay, I’m not boosting any class to ninety that I don’t have at least moderate skill with … oh. Okay, that narrowed it down. Feral Druid or Warlock. Let’s see … they’re both pretty fast levelers … hmm … I KNOW!

grakgoesGrak the Warlock has self-esteem issues, her sister the bank alt got all the good looks leaving Grak … well never mind. It would do wonders for her to be the one they’re all counting on! She could stop sitting there at level 5 shooting the shit with the guys.

You go Grak! Show them what you’re made of! Show them you’re … er … not just another pretty face!

Now to convince Cat to get back in the Celestial Tournament and get a few more pets before Warlords and we’ll be in good shape! Focus Cat! Focus!

I want to thank Laeleiweyn for this post. Last night I had defeated everyone in the tournament except Chi-Chi, that team was dead. Reluctant to leave with just one more to go I googled and found that post. I can make that team! What’s more it won easily! Cat’s on her way! She has … a coin. Only eight more to go!

Reviewing the Troops

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on March 4, 2014 by tomeoftheancient

ztrikeLook buddy I don’t care WHAT KIND of gas mileage that thing gets, mine’s better! Imagine my surprise on logging in and finding Phanta riding a Zhevra. I really wanted one so I’m doing RAF with Kamalia … so yeah … where did this come from? I mean she IS a Goblin Rogue, I hope she wasn’t up to no good.

I have a second account that I started for dual-boxing, I sucked at dual-boxing. I got tired of having to go back and find the follower. She almost ALWAYS got herself drowned, enough of that. I would fire up the second account every once in a while to invite myself to my guild when I made a new alt. At some point I must have RAFed myself … I guess.

See? Big plus having a crappy memory. You can totally surprise yourself! Now I’m faced with having to figure out what I want next. The Zhevra was easy … going to have some thinking to do. Pet or mount? Pet or mount?

eternalbondYeah … um … about that eternal bond. Geez Liwu, don’t tell them! Yeah, Liwu found she didn’t have Cloud Serpent Riding and remembered how much those babies sell for. Cha-ching! She’s been hanging out with that Goblin too much.

imagirlYeah, Lokkan my Draenei Shaman’s still reaping the benefits of girlhood. Hearing the odds were 50/50 that she was a guy did scare off this one’s advances. She usually has two or three buffs going from passing Priests, Paladins and Druids. One day a lovely Druid followed her around for about a half and hour and healed her while she bonked pink birdies on the head. What? Tell them what?

Oh, she wants me to tell you she’s graduated to crabs and snakes. I still can’t figure this out. This didn’t happen when she was an Enhancement Shaman but that was back when Fenris was just Fenris. I can only conclude the influx of players from Dragonblight caused an increase in chivalrous behavior.

One other thing. I get that Cat prefers turtles, snakes and crabs while on the Isle. She’s a skinner.  I get that the Warlocks who are both tailors prefer Burning Beserkers because they drop cloth. New arrivals to the Isle kinda stick to the pink birds and little yaks but what is up with Liwu?

Liwu really has it in for those Gulp Frogs and I really have no idea why. I can see the logic behind the rest’s choices but I can’t even begin to figure out this. Must be some Pandaren thing. Like her insistence on doing NOTHING until she made her Ultrasafe Transporter: Toshley’s Station yesterday so she could use it. Now she’s just waiting for server maintenance to be over to get her last one. Ultrasafe Transporter: Gadgetzan, how did she miss that?

Places to go, things to do. Four hours and counting …

A Crisis of Confidence

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on December 13, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

bearmopeI’ve played WoW now for over seven years as what could charitably be called a mediocre player. I do not have lightning fast reflexes and if I did, I don’t even think I’d use them as I’m too busy gawking at stuff to pay attention. Usually I’m fine with this but Cat’s in a terrible mope about it. She won’t even come out of bear form and talk to me.

She remembered the other day that she wanted a noodle cart of her very own. She switched to her bear spec, although between you and me she doesn’t know how to bear, and she set off to the Temple of the Jade Serpent to start the quest chain.

Unfortunately Wise Mari went down easily which may have given her false expectations of what was to come. Next was Lorewalker Stonestep where she got The Trial of the Yongol with stupid Frick and Frack or whoever they are. She could not do enough damage and kept switching between them trying to kill them for what seemed FOREVER until at last her health dwindled to nothing. She didn’t even try again. She’s been bear moping ever since.

cimwrathOh, boo hoo … geez … I can’t take this, Cat, you’re such a drama queen. You think you’ve got it bad? Look at what she did to me. She felt I wasn’t APPLYING myself enough learning Destruction so she changed all my gems and enchants and reforged everything. THEN she sent me to the Proving Grounds and said, “There, learn Destruction! And don’t come out until you have.”

There’s me biding a tearful goodbye to my beautiful Wrathguard and now I’m stuck with an icky, globulus, drolling blob. I’m stuck at the seventh round of silver and it will go on my permanent record if I don’t get out of here. My name will be ruined at the Warlock Council so don’t expect sympathy from me Cat! My purple demon is no more.

peerpOh, BOO HOO HOO HOO to the both of you. I was her main in BC, I’ve been an Enhancement Shaman ALL MY LIFE and when I complained that I never, ever got out she gave me a mount as though that would shut me up. I pleaded for a chance. What did she do? Made me an Elemental Shaman and said there, go learn it. Do you know how hard it is to remember I’m not supposed to run right up to things now and start wailing away on them. Range? What do you mean? How … oh, never mind.

So anyway, where is she? She caused all this trouble and then just split? Have you seen her?

fantaPsst! Over here! Yeah, please don’t let on that you’ve seen me. I’m going to hide out over here ’til things calm down. Yeah … when in doubt, make an alt. Isn’t that how it goes?