Archive for Silly

Wish You Were Here

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on September 10, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

 

POSTCARDNo really, I meant that. I’m here with a bunch of total strangers, and yet still a fun first hour. So yeah, thought I’d send a postcard from my vacation. I’ll write when I get work.

The Problem with The Isle of Thunder

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on August 17, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

poolsideI hate to sound ungrateful … I really love the Isle of Thunder, it’s a great place for Sasche to try out her new spec but something’s lacking. It really needs some beachfront accommodations. Doesn’t have to be fancy … just some cabins would do. She could get a room and live on the beach until she hits 9,999 bones.

She could be in for an extended stay as SOMEONE keeps buying Spectral Porcupettes with her bones so it would be nice to have somewhere to stay on the Isle. So yeah … not complaining but just want to put that out there in case any developers were pondering doing so. Go for it.

I read the post Cynwise wrote on cognitive fatigue, as always it was compelling reading but for some reason what I took away from it was a GREAT NEED to get Dots for my iPad. Yeah, I don’t know what that’s about either. I don’t know, searching for inner peace or something. So I go to the app store and I’m told my iOS is too old. GEEZ, can’t anything ever be easy.

So I decided to update for which I’d need the cable that came with the iPad. Almost my ENTIRE day was spent searching for this legendary cable. Dammit! There’s no such thing, I’ve looked everywhere, there’s nothing but the cable I use to charge  the … iPad … oh. By the time I updated and restored everything and then went and got Dots I really NEEDED inner peace.

Then to relax I browsed blogs. HAHAHA! My Warlocks loved Anou’s post at Diary of a Gnome Spy, they wanted to congratulate her on being a truly evil, evily, evilest Warlock! They wanted to salute her. But nooooo … once again Blogger refused us entry. Okay, it says you can use your Google Account. Great! Nope. When I did that it wanted me to sign up for a Blogger account. I’ve just about had it with you technology. You have driven me to the breaking point. I may go outside. I may TRIM SHRUBBERY. So there. Stupid little technology.

flamingsasOh wait! Sasche learned some more stuff about Destruction Warlocking. Another use for those ember thingies. Get three of them and then fly around scaring the crap out of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders! See, I’m really learning this Destro stuff!

I am a Boss, Hear me RAWR!

Posted in Silly with tags , , , on August 12, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

meanieIn certain circles irl I’m not known as Cat or Tome or Ancient. I’m known as Mimi. All the other traditional terms were already taken so yeah … I’m Mimi. At my mother’s birthday celebration yesterday, my six year old granddaughter proclaimed that she was going to be a chef when she grew up. This little one does not eat, she appears to live solely on oxygen. It’s a constant concern of her mother’s and mine too. The ONLY thing she will usually even consider consuming is bacon, yep, bacon. Birthday cake? Nope, just … bacon.

So  I told her I thought that was unlikely as how would she know what her dishes taste like as she wouldn’t try them. Oh dear … this caused the lamentations of the small, tiny, angry woman.

“You are NOT Mimi!” “You’re name is MEANIE!” MEANIE THE DREAMBREAKER, that’s who you are!”

Oh geez, she’s got a point there, I remember telling my daughter she couldn’t grow up to be a tree.

Okay, well I had to try to cheer her up but it’s hard when you’re rolling around on the floor … you know … LMAO.

So I told her I might be wrong after some thought, I thought she would indeed be a great, well known chef. She would come to be known throughout the land as the GREAT CHEF BACÓN. I mean not just a stupid regular O bacon but a fancy Ó chef.

So I continued to yell, CHEF BACÓN loudly and with a phony French accent repeatedly and that did the trick. Being somewhat mollified now, she agreed to at least eat a multiple vitamin. I know, but it’s something.

But now I’m quite excited, I’m sure Blizzard will be contacting me any time now for an audition! I just know it! They’ll want the dreaded Meanie the Dreambreaker boss in the next expansion!

Let’s see … it could be about the Emerald Dream gone horribly wrong. Previously good, kind Druids go bonkers and roam the land leaving death and destruction in their wake.Yes! Yes! That’ll work!

FEAR ME! FEAR ME! All will fall before MEANIE THE DREAMBREAKER … well, until a raid comes and kills me but still, I’m so excited, I’ve got to go practice my roar.

RAWRRRR RAWRRRRRRRRRRR!

The End Is Nigh … Who Will Fight for You?

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , , on July 20, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

theend

Zombie Apocalypse. Alien Invasion. The fight of your life, the fight FOR life is here. This is it, who will fight it for you?

Which of your characters? Which of the classes you play are most suited to fight at the end of the world? I know rl me isn’t up to it so it’s got to be one of them.

I know, I know, I watch too many post apocalyptic movies and read too many post apocalyptic books but still … I remember talking to a client who had a security business, I mean serious stuff like tactical knife fighting. He said he worried as his wife didn’t have the awareness in situations he’d like. She didn’t assess everyone she encountered for possible risk.

Well yeah … those of us lucky enough to be raised in a safe environment don’t. We’d have to be trained. The closest I get to threat assessment irl is assessing the traffic around me for potential jackassery and lane changing. So I’m not prepared. I don’t live at the level of awareness called for to deal with an influx in the Zombie population, but I know people who do!

Who makes their way daily through dangerous territory constantly knowing attack could be imminent? My WoW characters!

I immediately narrowed my choice down to two characters, Druid and Warlock.

Druid being a Night Elf is doubly stealthy; Shadowmeld and Prowl would enable her to sneak around, possibly avoiding detection until she struck. And she can turn into a freaking big bear! That’s a definite plus. On the downside … aliens … who knows what powers they have, they may be able to see right through stealth, sneaky aliens. And Cat is a little too … nice. She sits and chats with elites instead of killing them. I’m not sure she’s tough enough for the end of the world as we know it.

Warlock … she has a seemingly endless supply of minions to do her bidding. She is surprisingly hardy for someone wearing a party dress and … well … she’s just plain mean. I mean really, really mean. How mean? When she does the quest Money Matters she threatens EVERYONE not just that Spicemaster, she even threatens that sweet little Trader Jambeezi. I know! That’s damn mean!

It’s settled then, I’m prepared for whatever may come. Bring it on you stupid aliens! Zombies? She’ll laugh in your face! She’s even got a meteor strike in the ocean covered! 1,000 foot high tsunami? Unending Breath! Muhaha!

Um … yeah, sorry. Got carried away. Maybe I should find some alternate summer reading material.

Catavars and Annoyed Warlocks

Posted in General WoW with tags , , on July 14, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

catavatarSo I came upon Cat chatting with El, I figured she was getting carp tips from her but I heard her say something about her catavar. Catavar? What’s that? Well apparently they both play MMOs. I know! I asked if Cat could show me her … ah … catavar.

Um Cat? Why did you pick a avatar catavar with those ears and those eyebrows? What? No! No, I didn’t mean anything’s wrong with them at all, I just thought you’d go for a whole different look. Since you could. You know.

Well yes, many of my characters are human. You’ve got a point, I see what you mean. So you were going for the kinda Human/Night Elf Halfling look? Yes, I see. Very nice.

whitecarpOh see, she was asking El for carp tips! And it worked! Yay Cat, two down two to go.

warlockallyYeah … please don’t say anything … about the … you know, look. I’m in enough trouble with my Alliance Warlock as she had to sit around dressed like that while EVERYONE else got to 90 first. She was NOT happy.

So over the last day or two we rushed through the same quests for the third time in a row. Oh, sweet Elune! She told me she wanted to do Battlefield: Barrens. I don’t know if I can do this again. No one does the champions anymore. One little mob at a time with an underpowered Warlock, oh boy.

But fair’s fair and she did wait patiently … sort of. Deal’s a deal.

warlocknowThere she is looking somewhat better and off we went to do the scenarios. Blood in the Snow went just fine. Yay! We’re almost to the Barrens! I kind of jumped the gun there. Dark Heart of Pandaria did not go well, again and again and again and …

I felt so bad for a little Shaman who finally said they would drop group so we’d be able to finish and although I felt bad for them, we were thankfully able to finish with another player. Yay! Barrens, here we come. Yeah, I was trying to get enthused. Be supportive … she’s been waiting a long time.

So we get there and take the quest to gather 15 of each resource. After that I ran screaming back to Pandaria. Maybe next week. She could use the gear. Just not right now. I can’t, I just can’t.

So I felt really guilty. How to make amends. Let’s see … 40,000 gold should do it. I’m cringing. I really did spend that on her, rather than gather lumber. And to get her to the lofty iLevel of 459 … and don’t tell her I told you … she’s using a borrowed weapon. Yes, Sasche and Cim are sharing a BOA. They have to send it back and forth. I know. But my Scribe absolutely refused to make another Inscribed Serpent Staff. WOULD NOT DO IT. They can share, she told me.

So now I’m broke and and being bossed around by a bunch of virtual characters. But on the bright side, it did take seven years before I caved to them. Come on, that’s something … isn’t it?

Isle of Thunder … Chasin’ Love in all the Wrong Places

Posted in General WoW with tags , , , on June 24, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

In a recent post Redbeard said, “I’m actually disappointed that nobody has created a WoW music video based on Jay Ferguson’s 70’s tune.” I didn’t want him to be disappointed so in case no one makes a proper video here’s this instead!

I felt kind of guilty tricking Cat into thinking love might be had on the Isle of Thunder but she took it rather well. She packed up her Romantic Picnic Basket and is probably out there right now chasin’ love. Good luck Cat!

I Sense a Storm Coming …

Posted in Silly with tags , , on June 13, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

thestormWhat? What? What IS it? Oh come on, you’re not impressing me with all this “my elven half” senses a storm coming, I mean look at my ears. I’m a full-blooded Elf and I don’t sense any … what … the local news? Oh.

Nothing really new here but I thought if I’m going to lose my beloved internet I should say something while I can. At least /wave. The local news is warning of stormageddon today. I usually don’t pay attention to their hysteria but then the federal government is now giving liberal leave to workers. So I have made preparations. I have both dogs leashes ready, and every pair of glasses or contacts I have and my iPad in a heap near the basement door. There. Prepared.

Since the rest of my family won’t allow me to leash and hold onto them huddled in the basement that’s about all I can do. So I thought if we lose power it would be nice for Cat and Cimmeia to have company. It might be a good thing. So far in five days I have spent the equivalent of two months subscription in Neverwinter. I KNOW! What’s wrong with me!

Uh oh, I’d better wrap it up, I think Cimmeia is right. The first round is here. I’d appreciate it if you two girls would send a few prayers to the power company gods for me. Food and water, who needs it. But not my INTERNET pleaseeeeeeeeee …

Information Packed Posts …

Posted in Silly with tags , , on May 31, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

sadly never happen here. Yeah … I know, it bothers me too. So it’s Friday and I’ve got nothing, so I decided to REALLY think hard. I must know SOMETHING helpful … no, nothing so far … then I found Joanna! Yay! I can do this! You can do THIS! Let’s all PRANCE!

Yeah … the hair … I can’t do that. Maybe a ponytail would be appropriate … yeah … I can definitely do a great ponytail. Okay, the pants I’m NOT doing. I don’t think it will hurt anything if I wear jeans do you? Those pants … no … just … cannot.

So while I was prancing, I FINALLY thought of some great information to share. It might come in handy if you have allergies or sinus problems like I do. These problems can cause mouth breathing. One of the reasons I never want to talk on vent or mumble but never mind that, on to the helpful information!

When cleaning your toilet, take a deep breath BEFORE using the toilet brush. Now hold that breath while strenuously scrubbing the toilet bowl. If needed, stop brushing, back away. Release your breath. Take another deep breath. Repeat scrubbing. Continue to repeat the steps until toilet bowl is clean.

Failure to close mouth while cleaning can result in splashes of water hitting your face. This can result in screaming and dare I say, a lot of prancing around while screaming. Really, I you could end up using an ENTIRE bottle of mouthwash trying to disinfect your mouth.

Not to worry, when certain people in my house forget to put the toilet seat down, our dogs on occasion have had a sip of toilet water. They’re still here … so whew …

Yay! There’s my helpful, informational post! I love this being helpful stuff, I feel like a freaking Mother Teresa of Azeroth now, although technically I don’t think we have to scrub toilet bowls there. Maybe they’ll make a daily for it. Anyway, remember to prance and keep your mouth closed while doing hazardous tasks! And have a great weekend, my work here is done!

Half of a Solitary Cat and Orange Face

Posted in WoW Solo with tags , , , on April 25, 2013 by tomeoftheancient

catflightCat is truly a Feral Cat. She makes her solitary way through the world and she’s pretty happy that way. I’ve met people who only play in groups; a woman I met once said she’d have to “practice” playing alone because she wasn’t good at it. It seemed strange at first but I think she’s right, if you play one way exclusively you DO play differently. If you’re always alone you don’t have to worry about pulling aggro, you’ve already got it all. Cat used to get in trouble that way back a few expansions. Not a nice feeling when a boss turns around from the tank and says, “Hey you! Druid, com’ere!” Oops.

Cat loves to find a group for Galleon, I don’t know why she has it in for him. They are pretty hard to come by anymore but the other day a group was forming so she set out for The Valley of the Four Winds. On reaching Galleon they had assembled quite a large group, they were full. I noticed plaintive requests for an invite … repeatedly. I whispered the few people asking, telling them it was all good, just help during the fight, you’ll get a roll.

I got whispers back, “That won’t work, no heals.” I didn’t know what to say to that. It hadn’t even occurred to me. Really? They weren’t even going to try without heals?

THE REST OF THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO BORING. Boring. boring … snore …

I know what’s going on, every time I try to play the game as intended this happens. I don’t know why I do it, it makes me unhappy and then I hate the blog too. And then I delete everything. This time I left half of the post so you’d see I WAS making an effort but just … you know, who gives a shit.

So … orange face. I’ve become one. Years ago I worked with a very pretty young lady. Really, the first thing you’d notice was that she was exceptionally pretty. The second thing you’d notice was her orange face. Why? Why would such a pretty girl put so much makeup on that it would turn her face orange?

One day we were having lunch and she started talking about how self-conscience she was about her face. I didn’t know if I should acknowledge the  excessive use of makeup. She went on, she was talking about her acne scars. Acne scars? Huh. I’d never noticed. I’d only noticed the orange face. BACK TO THE FUTURE.

wcI have every skin condition there is, I am allergic to everything including the dogs. I have now been gifted with rosacea. It makes your face red and if you’re really lucky puts pits and stuff on your face and you’ll eventually look like this.

You know how when you look in a mirror you see who you think you are rather than what people see? And then sometimes when walking past a mirror or a window you’ll accidentally see yourself the way you are, I guess you take your brain by surprise and it can’t filter fast enough so anyway I saw my face.

I HAVE BECOME THE ORANGE FACE. In an effort to obscure the red I am now orange.

Well yeah … not that interesting but believe me it’s WAY more interesting than the rest of the post was. Trust me.

Yours Truly,

Orange Face

Mogolympics Scandal, Judge Tampering?

Posted in Silly with tags , , on August 26, 2012 by tomeoftheancient

Stormwind Times – 1 hour

SW ELWYNN FOREST – A shocking revelation today when it was discovered that a judge in the ongoing Mogolympics had their confidential files compromised. It’s being reported that a Darnassian Druid “borrowed” one of the photos of an archery competitor to have a portrait painted. At this point it’s still unclear if there was any wrong doing on the part of the judge, or whether anyone will contest the results of the event.

Attempts were made to get a statement from the Night Elf Druid who was on a Bandit killing spree in Elwynn Forest at the time. Unfortunately we were unable to get the interview. Communication was hampered by a giant dog who seemed to perceive the news team as a threat. While escaping one reporter heard, “He was so dreamy, I never got to met him. Sob … sob.” The team managed to make it to the safety of the Goldshire Inn. The judge in question has declined an interview, and has reportedly gone into hiding at an undisclosed location.