Alright, first … I just had to bite my tongue. It must be the mother in me … but hon … really? Don’t you think you could put some tights on or something and a shirt for heaven sakes? Is that really appropriate … okay, tongue bitten. She’s a grown Druid, if she wants to parade across the country dressed as a holiday strumpet that’s not my business.
I read somewhere that the Red Winter Hat needed for the achievement ‘Tis the Season had a 100% drop rate off of Grand Magus Telestra if you did The Nexus on heroic. I don’t know if that’s true but she was wearing it the first time my Druid went in so that completed her Winter Garb Set.
I told her I’d meet her with a piece of Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake I had so she could complete her achievement. There, another one done, what’s next?
Oh wow, I think this ship has sailed, at least on my server. She stood in Dalaran forever hoping another Snowman would show up to dance with her for A Frosty Shake but no luck. The only good thing was it got her to finally take off her Winter Garb, whew. She completed Bros. Before Ho Ho Ho’s, looks like the next step is to go warm the hearts of the horde with her caroling skills.
I told her I’d be back to help her with that. I had to walk the real life dogs first. She’s met them so she said fine, take your time. I didn’t really feel all that great but IRL there is no NOT WALKING THE DOGS ALLOWED, EVER. The dogs are strict taskmasters and I must obey or there will be consequences … the kind I won’t like.
Logically, I do know that the laws governing the universe do not suspend during holidays, I really do know that. Nonetheless, I continue to treat holidays like they come with a calorie amnesty. Last night we were in the mood to watch I Am Legend. During the viewing of the movie I ate two ham sandwiches with a side of Doritos then for dessert had a bowl of ice cream with the rest of the belgian chocolates kind of like a topping. All of this was washed down with red wine. I attribute it to my concern for Will Smith because I knew what was coming next in the movie, so I really wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating, that’s my story anyway.
So on the dog walk, universal law number 1176 kicked in. Said law states, “If you are going to feel sick, you will be at the maximum walking distance from your home.” It is somewhat comforting to know our lives are governed by laws you can count on however inconvenient they may be.
At maximum distance I felt a near uncontrollable urge to ralph the previous evening’s eating marathon results. We were at this point, in front of a lovely, well-maintained mail box in a manicured lawn. Not good. Luckily the way back is downhill and my dog thought it was great fun to run at breakneck speeds down the hill to the woods part of our walk, otherwise known as pooping station two. With glee he helped me clear a path through the bushes where I could ralph to my heart’s content out of the view of curious passers-by.
Yes, a cautionary tale isn’t it. Learn from my mistakes, there is no food amnesty on holidays. Repeat it, know it, learn it. Right … will do. Next year will be totally different. Ah, I feel so much better.Well enough to don a Gaudy Winter Veil Sweater and go impress the horde with my incredible singing prowess which is what I love about Azeroth. In Azeroth I have incredible singing prowess, IRL … um … not so much.