Blog Lurker Recidivism

I’ve been writing posts coming on three years soon. Before that … I was a lurker. Yes … a WoW blog lurker. When I started posting it wasn’t scary as I knew no one was reading them but me. I entertained myself with posts about my dog. I got a comment! And I see that while I’ve been talking about my dogs and yelling about crap, my first commenter has written a whole book! Must remember to look into that.

Anyway, I piddled along for another year or so. I replied to my commenters … I became a replier. A baby step forward. Then came an event that changed everything. Blog Azeroth Thanksgiving Event. I had to get a Twitter account, YIKE! Okay, I’m still crappy at Twitter, but still it was a start.

I started commenting, ON BLOGS OTHER THAN MINE. I made lots of WoW friends which was the whole point of this exercise. I chatted without a care in the world. I wasn’t a lurky LURKER anymore. Nobody cared that I’m a friend of run-on sentences and totally eschew grammar and punctuation. There was no judging. I felt at home.

Recently an event irl depressed me. I thought I would feel relieved when it happened but I didn’t. Go figure … even I don’t understand me. I’d be the first to admit I have a fragile psyche but what I don’t understand was why this event knocked me back briefly into blog lurker land.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY STUPID, JUST SHUT UP! Yeah, I do self-loathing real well. I felt like this.

And the very WORST thing is … LOOK AT THAT GUY! Not a hesitation … not a glance … NOTHING while she goes down in flames … okay water. Yeah … nobody cares … boo hoo … nobody cares …

I deleted posts … here’s a picture.

I totally lost my nerve. I hung out in places like this trying to get my mojo back. I know! Pathetic.

But an inquiry came from one of my blogging friends. Was everything alright? It wasn’t, but I lied … I know, I’m awful but the thing is her concern is what turned things slowly around. I love her for that.

I have met so many kind and caring people in the WoW community who MORE than compensate for the in-game ratbastards. So yeah … you’ve been warned. I may be commenting again. Saying stupid things that no one cares about that I don’t care about whether anyone cares about … come on, you know what I mean.

NEWSBREAK: WoW Players Have Heightened Psychic Abilities

Well, at least Tyledres of Frost and Claws does. I was feeling sorry for myself this morning, wasn’t even going to login. I was going to CLEAN INSTEAD … yes CLEAN, that’s how bad it is.

Some people’s characters are an extension of themselves, mine aren’t. I don’t really know where the hell they came from … really. Cat is happy doing pet battles, exploring, occasionally killing things if it’s absolutely necessary. She’s very low maintenance. Sasche on the other hand is causing problems, she wants to do things that aren’t possible. So with Patch 5.3 instead of, “Oh YAY! More pets to collect!” Sasche was a big downer and said “Oh YAY! More stuff I can’t do.”

Playing exclusively in the daytime can really limit what you can do. I’ve been in many guilds with the same result. There may be a few people on in the daytime. They are out doing dailies or collecting mats to prepare for WHAT THEY ALL DO AT NIGHT. They aren’t doing anything together. After a while … and I just couldn’t help it … envy would raise its ugly head every morning when I’d see what the guild had done or achieved the night before. I decided I’d be happier on my own. If I don’t have to see how everyone’s progressing, it won’t bother me. Kind of a virtual nah nah nah nah nah I can’t hear you.

Cat gets this, Sasche does not. She is younger than Cat, maybe she’ll mature. So after Sasche rained on our parade, Cat and I were just not feeling it this morning but the lure of leveling a few pets was too strong and she logged in.

Tyledres you MUST be psychic, this wonderful gift could not have arrived at a better time! Thank you SO much. I teared up over this little guy. I was even in Karazhan yesterday, nothing dropped and I had to leave before getting to Prince Malchezaar.

I found a suitable place to introduce Minfernal and Netherspace Abyssal, they were a little wary of each other at first, then Drak told a joke and kind of broke the ice. Fast friends now. Then to pick a suitable name … hmm … I didn’t feel comfortable naming him Tyledres cause I kept imagining Ty at the bottom of the ocean under tons of water because of the whole abyssal thing. I kept having to take deep breaths when I thought of it. Won’t do. I’ve got it! Frosty Claws after Frost and Claws and because Ty was kind of like a physic Santa!

Thank you again so much Ty and you’re timing was scary perfect! I may just let Cat play today and let grumpy Sasche stew a while and consider the error of her ways!

EDIT: ROTFL! Well, crap. It’s always upsetting to see typos after you post BUT THE TITLE TOO. I have edited and now Ty properly has Psychic powers, geeeez …

Unexpected Archeology Find

My Hunter has been on a long, dirty, grind of archeology dig sites lately, in search of a Canopic Jar. Unearthing a long buried chest somewhere in the region where the Time-Lost Proto Drake is rumored to fly, she came upon a priceless, ancient document.

On it she found the wonderful words below.  It spoke of a powerful Shaman, her name Mataoka. Could it be? She searched for hints to the author. She knew this style, she’d read it before. Where had she read it, the name just wouldn’t come, and then the mention of wolves! This was a lost poem by the famous rhyming Druid, she just knew it!

Thoughts of Canopic Jars forgotten, she hurried back to town to seek confirmation of her find from the historians, sure they’d be able to authenticate her treasure.

Update: This work has been authenticated, the author is indeed the famed Navimimus of the Frosticus Wolves.

The Steed of Shamans
The Vrykul race of Northrend were a tall and mighty foe
Matty knew for glory, riches, to their lands she’d go
Amazing creatures lived there, this icy northern land
How they could serve the Lich King, Matty couldn’t understand.

One day as Matty battled in the plains of Howling Fjord
A dying Vrykul whispered as he bled upon her sword
A mystic creature found, born of god and mighty steed
Matty thought that this would be a wondrous sight indeed.

The icy walls of Storm Peaks was where the rumours led
But Matty found a score of Vrykul worshipping undead
Adventurers had flocked here for the chance at a great prize
A time lost protodrake, golden, rumoured immense size.

But while they searched the skies for him, Matty searched the mines
She freed some slaves, who showed her spoor and other little signs
Yet others did not even know this fabled beast existed.
The urge to ask about it strong, but Matty, she resisted.

One wintry day Mataoka was on the slopes of Thunderfall
Snow was falling lightly, coating her just like a shawl
A creamy shade, a ghost, came towards her in the sleet
Her destiny was calling, predicting they would one day meet.

She shifted stance, prepared herself, for a long and drawn out fight
The beast emerged, magnificent, a truly awesome sight
A steed of burnished copper, muscles rippling as he paced
Eight legs stamped in powdered snow, while Matty’s heartbeat raced.

His blazing eyes caught Matty’s as she raised for her first strike
Then in her mind she heard a voice, more intimate than she’d like
Her body stilled, her heartbeat too, as memories came aflood
Twas if the beast was calling her, as if she was his blood.

“Mataoka, do not fear me, I have searched so long for thee
I am no ordinary beast, open your mind and see
A draenei as pure of heart, nor pure of soul I’ve found
I’m not a creature to be tamed, nor follow like a hound.”

I’m mortal, born on Azeroth, but descended from a god
I wield power and intelligence, hence why I’ve ne’er been shod
I’ve searched the lands for someone who’d appreciate my gifts
I am swift, can fly and teleport – my power can form rifts.

I can take you to the Underworld if that’s your heart’s desire
I will fight beside you tooth and hoof, and breathe great flames of fire
Such great adventures we can have, I hope to share with you.”
And with a leap sprang skyward, and over her head he flew.

Tears sprang to her eyes, as Matty opened up her mind
The warmth, the truth of bonding with a friend, one of a kind
As the creature landed in the snow, she approached her arms held wide
Embraced him, and he nickered, returning affection to her in kind.

“Steed of shamans, I am called, and Sleipnir is my name.
Stealth is my security, my only bane is fame.
For nobody can know that I exist, except for you.
Or else a prize I will become, and you’ll be hunted too.”

Matty climbed aboard his back and grabbed handfuls of mane
She called her spirit wolves to her, and then a healing rain
Sleipnir reared, his head held high, and bellowed a mighty roar
Then took a great leap to the skies so together they could soar.

You might be lucky and see them if you look towards the skies
But if you don’t, it really shouldn’t be a big surprise
Matty’s sworn to secrecy, she’ll deny it if you ask
For hiding Sleipnir from the world is really, a big task.

Original artwork can be found here.

Week’s WoW Chotchkies

Yep. There Cat is sneaking around, skipping everyone but the bosses. She’s in such a hurry, she’s so sure the Alliance Balloon is going to be THE ONE. This surely is the lucky talisman that will win her the Reins of the Raven Lord. Nope.

Darkmoon Zeppelin=Boomstick

Albino Snake=Belt of the Raven Lord

Alliance Balloon=Band of Frigid Elements

We only just started so I’m not giving up hope yet, but when I hearthed back, there was a moment where I got a little testy. SOMEONE was standing in the middle of the stairs to the AH on my stupid chicken mount. I wanted to yell, THEY’RE NOT EVEN THAT RARE ANYMORE!  Everyone and their brother has one now … well … except me. But I didn’t and there’s that. But really, the effrontery. Almost made me behave in a most unladylike manner.

So I haven’t had much time with Lessismora, but she did get to level 25. At level 20 she asked Ironsally for money to go shopping. Ironsally couldn’t figure out what she was going to buy, as she can’t wear anything. Boy, did we find out. She not only bought the Infallible Tikbalang Ward she bought a Black Diamond Ring. Ironsally went off on a rant about profligate spending but she finally gave in. She has a soft spot for undergeared Warlocks I think.

Poor Less had her first death at level 22, and it really wasn’t her fault. Drungeld Glowerglare respawned immediately after she killed him and he jumped her, while she was looting the first him for the quest item. Should have been doing green quests instead of yellow as she’s so much more squishy than Sally was.

After it happened I got worried about Ironstevo and checked his armory because unlike Less, he’s not allowed to die. Whew! He’s fine.

I’m having to do some actual work in real life at the moment, so I take occasional breaks, which is easy as I’m right here anyway. Read posts, check to see if there are any funny search terms. Cymre has a great post I want to save about blogs. My search terms are pretty dull but once again my spam has come through!

Oh no, you so did not link something with the words “plus size” to Ironsally’s post. Mr. FancyDressing I don’t think you have any idea what kind of danger you’re in. I think you’d better retract that. If my Warlock so much as sees that, your quality of life is going to take a nose dive, really. I’ve only just got her back under control, and it’s only because the Druid was nice and let her pick a pet, although she didn’t really deserve it after the whole “turning Druid’s head into a Felguard’s” episode. I hope I deleted that before she saw it. She’s touchy about her weight.

I’m ashamed to say this, but I only speak English and very poor Spanish. The Spanish is very rusty and you have to speak real slowly and it helps if you throw in appropriate gestures, and then I MAY get what you’re saying. But I can read that, you know. I’m not sure what language it is, but I can read that. I really wonder how these things are determined. I mean is it random, or does some spam entity really think people that read about big chickens and art are interested in sex parties with amateur chickens … sorry, I meant strippers. There seems to be a reoccurring chicken and egg theme on this blog. I blame Anzu. Hopefully it’ll stop when it drops. WHEN, not if.

One Transcendent Moment

Yeah, I’m not talking about sex, not yet at least. Not even talking about being, yes, Kingslayers. Talking about something else entirely but I’m getting ahead of myself here, let me back up.

JD’s sendoff party started in Kara. All Sasche was worried about here was her clothing, as everyone looked just marvelous, and the only thing she’d transmogged was her hideous belt. And what is up with those Tauren minion whisperers?

Look at my minion! Navimie had my Felhunter entranced, he wouldn’t come when I called, he just ignored me, geez. And then I noticed that my Ancona Chicken decided that they preferred Kamalia to me! Well I never! Euphyley and I were left petless. It must be Navimie and Kamalia’s calming presence. Or something about us Undead makes them uncomfortable, nah, that’s silly. I don’t know why being together with everyone in pixel form was almost as good as actually meeting in person, but it was. Kara was great fun, I love that place. But now the second half of the sendoff was soon to start and I was kind of hoping a meteor would land in the backyard or some other acceptable excuse to … um … bail.

Oh dear … oh dear. Yeah, it doesn’t help that I’m a shy introvert either. Back when I started playing, WoW was my first MMO. I stupidly thought people would come together in groups and play, have fun. Not so much. By the time BC was drawing to a close I had enough of nerdraging and unpleasantness. And this was before LFD when it was moderately better, because by the time you got a group together you got to know people a little. I usually knew the names of their rl pets by the time the group was complete. Less anonymity, less likelihood of jackassery, but I still couldn’t take it. Druid went completely feral and pretty much stayed away from humanity.

Imagine you’re really gullible and someone tells you sex is sticking SOME part of you into a electrical socket. That’s how you do it. So you do it. Wow, not much fun. Ouch. Figure you did it wrong. Try it again. Crap. You really, more than likely, won’t try it too many times. You feel bad, you heard people talk about how they enjoy it but hey, that isn’t your experience so you quit trying. So yeah. I quit sticking things into the electrical socket of groups. I never raided, ever. I stopped doing anything other than a quick holiday boss.

So yeah. Arthas. Don’t know squat about Icecrown Citadel. I did view videos of the Arthas fight beforehand, but all that stuck was to be terrified of defiles and if you’re lucky enough to be killed by Arthas toward the end, DON’T RELEASE. Imagine my surprise to find there were like a gazillion other bosses in that place. Who knew!

In preparation I did install DBM but I was afraid it might scare the crap out of me more than help. Matty told me about GTFO so I installed that too, and still didn’t GTFO all that often but it helped.

I can’t believe how luxurious it feels to have someone heal you. No wonder DPS get crazy. And yes, you should fear defiles. The entire platform was a swirly black mass, really. My only option would have been to jump off, but I’m afraid of heights. I was my usual uncommunicative self.

As I’ve written about before, my set-up is a little unusual, not conducive to, you know, communicating, which isn’t usually a problem. And I missed a lot of chat because I was busy taking a total of 62 screen shots. I just couldn’t stop.

So when this happened I knew we’d done it. I just lay there basking in the glory of death. We’d done it. And I only got lost once. And no one put up those stupid numbers so I didn’t have to know how bad I did, it was just … fun. And you whisperers, thank you, you know who you are. And thanks to our fearless leader, Effy, who led us to take down the only expansion bad guy I really did miss not getting to see.

This was what I thought it would be like when I started playing WoW. This was what I had been looking for. It has taken almost six years to find it. So thank you JD. I’m glad you’re staying, but I’m also glad you almost left. Without you almost leaving I would never have known what it’s supposed to be like. Thank you all, Horde and Alliance, for a most wonderful evening.

The Mage Conspiracy Document

Yes, a bunch of my failed Mages, and these are just the ones that survived the big delete. I thought it was because I’m … well fail at mageing but through a little investigative reporting by Ironsally, she’s managed to uncover a huge hoax perpetrated by Gnomes, yes Gnomes, who really aren’t what they seem  …  wait I’m getting ahead of myself here, I’m all excited about being confrontational.

To start at the beginning, Gnomeaggedon posted this challenge.

Challenge: Find one of my old posts from the 830 odd posts I have written and choose to agree or disagree with it. Compare life during TBC with life pre-MoP. Hate me, go on, hate me – ill love you for it!

I commented that I probably couldn’t go the “disagree” route because I’m not confrontational. I’m more of an appeaser. I blame that on my mother who always told me “if you can’t say anything nice, just be quiet.” This got me put in a “special” group in first grade because I never spoke. My mother got confrontational with them though, and put an end to that nonsense. So anyway, I’d like to be confrontational, just once.

While browsing Gnomeaggedon’s blog I did actually come to the point where I took exception to something, in fact I disagreed with his WHOLE BLOG. PvPing with a Mage, I mean a whole Battle Mage section, really, as though that’s possible. I mean it can’t possibly be ME who’s a fail Mage. Something’s going on here. I always thought the Gnomes were up to something devious, I just wasn’t sure what … well now I know and I’m here to reveal it to the world and I’m not sure, but I think the probability is high that Gnomeaggedon is in fact the ringleader of this dastardly plot.

Yes, can you believe it? Ironsally unearthed this shot in a secret archive Gnomeaggedon keeps. He’s taking credit for the Alliance AND THE GNOMES for the moon walk and everyone knows the whole thing was staged and shot in the Motion Picture District of Stormwind. Nobody’s ever walked on the moon, ridiculous. The link? I seem to have misplaced it, but look, there he is!! If anyone could walk on the moon it would mean they aren’t even Gnomish, or Human, or Orc, but alien.

Not convinced, I have more. Don’t think the Gnomes are really aliens who have special powers that allow them to Mage? Well look at this, another telling article where they divulge their nefarious plot to hide among us until they strike, they have an appearance guide! Aliens hiding as cute little Gnomes, right here in Azeroth!

There’s more, this one saddens me, as you can see by the comments even I was at first taken in. Imraith Dos Santos, yes, one of them. And don’t be fooled, if you see a Human or Troll Mage, means nothing. They can disguise their appearance. Good at Mageing? It’s an alien. Case in point, note the comments on Navimie’s post about her Ironman. That’s right; Big Bear Butt accidentally let on that he’s good at being a Mage.  “Bigironbutt the draenei Mage, which is just inside my comfort zone.” Sad but true, our beloved Bear must be one of THEM.

Oh, there were early signs but we missed them.

If you listen closely you’ll hear Cranius frequently allude to his “stature.” All these years we took it to mean his high station as a killing machine while all the time he was actually bemoaning the fate of all Gnomes, he’s short in his true form. And look at the chorus … Gnomes.

Still not convinced? Well another inquiring mind found evidence that they aren’t just up to no good here in Azeroth. In a telling exposé Vrykerion uncovered the truth about Jedi right here. If all that hasn’t convinced you I have one last irrefutable piece of evidence.

Yes, a high level meeting between Gnomeaggedon and his handler. Need I say more? I don’t know if it’s too late. I don’t know if we can save Azeroth from complete alien takeover but we must try! Gnomeaggedon, you’ve been confronted. We will stop at nothing to foil your evil plans! Aarrrgghhh! My Mage Druid is coming for you!

Ode to the Ancient, Best WoW Gift Ever

What’s this! I’m talking BEFORE the pictures? Well that’s new, but there’s a reason. Recently Navimie of The Daily Frostwolf had a blogoversary? Blogiversary? I never know which but anyway, instead of getting gifts, Navimie offered gifts to anyone who commented on her post. Are you kidding!! A Navi gift just for commenting! I of course commented and then I hoped and waited and hoped. I saw some of the other gifts for bloggers who commented before I did. I selfishly thought, oh please don’t use up your rhyming mojo before you get to me. Oh please, oh please!

I was also happy I visited her blog that day because she talked about some of her most popular posts and one of them I had missed. Horde Alphabet Book for my daughter, which I love and I hope some talented WoW artist illustrates it. So without further ado, I give you my wonderful WoW gift from the talented Navimie!

This is my best WoW gift ever. I had told Navimie that I was rhyme-challenged and I so admired people with that skill. And OMG does Ironsally love her now. Ironsally likes the spotlight and she’s been fuming that’s she’s been sitting in Stormwind not getting any attention, yes, she’s not been pleased with me lately but thanks to Navimie she got to come out and bask in her Ironman glory.

I’m sitting here alone, oh God, if the dogs hear that they’ll be furious. What I meant was I don’t see HUMANS much in the day time, but I don’t really feel alone, I have the WoW Blogger Community here with me … me and the dogs … we got company.