Slowhand or Death by Predatory Swiftness

A little while back Big Bear had a post about getting old. I so know what he meant although I’m not sure if it’s worse to remember better times or never to have had them. I arrived in Azeroth past my prime. Totally devoid of youthful reflexes. I don’t have any glory days to remember. First I was an old noob then I became just … older … and kinda beat up.

I don’t know if my hand-eye coordination was any better in my youth. I tried to think, but the only thing that I was ever competitive at was riding, and I think that’s a whole other skill set … more like balance and rapport with large beasts. Apparently I must have had balance and I definitely have rapport with beasts, probably more than with humans.

My right hand was broken once and never really got “right” again. With the bad comes some good, because now I have a handy built-in barometer. The hand hurts when air pressure changes and I do as good or better than the weatherman on TV with predictions. I haven’t figured out how to monetize that yet though.

I was born with crappy eyesight so I’m used to that and it’s never been a problem until recently. Because of Presbyopia I have an ever increasing cache of cheap eyeglasses with varying levels of magnification stashed around the house. Finding just the right combination of bifocal contacts paired with cheap glasses to see the fire I’m standing in with at least one eye is a science that I don’t always get just right.

THEN … reflexes. I SEE that I’m standing in something bad. I react as fast as I possibly can … now I’m almost dead … or dead. I was doing Cinderfall the other day and he shot fire out his butt or whatever he does and I MOVED out of it as fast as I could … dead. There was another person standing right by me and they seemed to move BEFORE he even shot his fiery flame of death at us. I KNOW it’s not my connection or my computer’s fault … it’s me.

I occasionally don’t even NEED a great bolt of fire to kill me. I kill myself. For those of you who aren’t Feral Druids there is a wonderful spell called Predatory Swiftness. For me it’s an instant heal based off combo points, it’s a life saver … and a killer.

I have a great big damn display counting out the seconds I have left on it, you can see it up there, it’s hard to miss. I have 3 more seconds to use it or lose it. This is the point of no return … 3 seconds. If I get cocky and think I can hit that key with 1 second showing, I’ve killed myself … and I do it more frequently than I’d care to mention. If I miss the timing, Cat will shoot up into squishy, wimpy caster form to be instantly beaten to death before I can regain cat form. I just killed her … sigh.

Getting old in Azeroth is dangerous business, no doubt about it. So Cat and Cim have worked it out, Cim does things like the Celestial bosses if someone’s getting a group together, Cat does not. Cat handles tricky things like pet battles, Cim does not. They’ve worked out a plan that suits them and me. The crafty Warlock is much better at killing things while preserving herself … figures.

Cat’s much better at sneaking in undetected and pouncing on Gulp Frogs although in fairness to Cim she doesn’t need to sneak in she pretty much just blasts her way through on the never ending quest to get Bufo to cough up that pet.

One day … maybe one day Matty will get that Old Lady Raiders guild going but until then Slowhand Cat will pick her fights and leave the fire-shooting bad guys to that crazy Warlock because I’m not leaving no matter how freaking old I get … so there Cinderfall.

And no, the whole post wasn’t just an excuse to sneak Eric Clapton in, I DO kill myself with Predatory Swiftness with some regularity.