Lard’s Picnic Basket and Cheating

Over the weekend Liwu was enduring CRZ hell leveling in The Hinderlands. Jintha’Alor was crawling with characters and the respawn rate on the quest mobs could not keep up with the crowd. After getting frustrated, Liwu headed to the coast to look for ore which would at least salvage something from this mess. Off the coast was a little island, so she set off to investigate and found Lards’ Picnic Basket.

She looted it and was jumped by some ambushers, it’s apparently an item left over from an obsolete Horde quest. How had I never come across this before? Some Loremaster I am, sheesh. Liwu was pretty excited at being the first to discover the basket. I was excited to find that if you look, there are still mysteries in Azeroth to discover, I love that.

WoW Insider had a post on cheating on WoW. Yeah, looks like I’m not alone but I prefer to think of it as vacationing in a foreign land. Then I don’t have to be furtive about it, it’s all aboveboard and adult.

Um … yeah, I don’t know. It seems every time I visit my SWTOR characters they’re in some sort of sleazy dive. Here is my Jedi Counselor conversing with … ah … an interpretive dance troupe? Maybe? I’m in both WoW and SWTOR because my son-in-law is a committed Jedi Knight. He said he’s in a really great guild with nice people and I should join, so who would pass that up. I had been gone so long I just started over as I hadn’t a clue how to play my existing characters anymore.

I picked the Jedi Consular because it looked like I could spec her to come close to the play style of my Warlock. I could try to match up their keybindings and hopefully avoid the problems I have with playing multiple games at the same time. You know, the repeatedly hitting the wrong key and then the dying.

So here’s the thing. I’m playing along having a fine time when I get this feeling of deja vu. I don’t know, it seems like this Consular is familiar to me, like I’ve met her before. What’s that about? I just made her, don’t be ridiculous. I kept having this eerie feeling, so on logging off I took a look at the old characters still scattered around on different servers.

Hey there Cyborg Bounty Hunter! Wave! Wait … what? On close inspection she seems to be the clone of my Jedi Consular except for the hair and mechanical parts. Further research showed that I apparently, without knowing, had made almost the exact same character at least three times. What am I doing? Who is she? I mean the customization of characters is pretty broad in SWTOR, how did I manage that.

Thought that was pretty weird and I’m still suspicious of her and her motivation, how did she insinuate herself into my head and what does she want. I got spooked and headed back to WoW. I checked everyone out. Whew, she’s not here. I haven’t been followed. If I had found a Dwarf with her face I was going to swear off games. Honest … but no worries. The coast is clear.

Ironsally Takes a Dirt Nap

Yep. Ride, Sally ride. Way, way, back in the olden days of 2011 two wizards plotted a fiendish task. I now think of it as the Psyn-Vry Ironman to differentiate it from the later WoW Ironman which was more well known and included one thing the earlier WoW Ironman didn’t. A no-death requirement. Ironsally leveled to 85 dressed more or less in her undies and no talents … and gets to die as much as she so desires.

After completing her challenge she bummed around, had no direction. It was a bad time for her and she ended up in a back alley on a PvP server with little to do. But now the time has come. It’s time to push forward to 90. Yes, her idiot handler has made things more challenging by leaving her here, but no one is up for a challenge like Ironsally, Warlock extraordinaire! (Her words not mine, but I thought I’d humor her after the whole PvP server thingy.)

After a little research it became apparent those Pandaren don’t go in much for selling useless common weapons and gear. For heaven’s sake they sell legitimate gear. How unfortunate. It seems her next gear upgrade would have to come from the scruffy line of poor gear which is unattainable. That was one good thing about being on Zangarmarsh, people actually listed poor and common gear on the AH. Oh well, she’ll have to tough it out.

OMG! Sally, you did not just do that! You poser! You know you can’t help Nozdormu, why did you take that quest … ah … okay, I see. So she’s stuck here because her hearth’s on cooldown. Oh, wait. I’ll just enter The Caverns of Time, there’s a portal right here. Then I’ll check in on Uldum.

OMG, it was so good to finally get that over with. Sally takes a dirt nap at the hands of the Horde. I’ve got to wonder what he thought. There he is already for a big fight and bam. He one-shot her. Kind of wonder what was going through their mind. Damn, I am good, or what the hell is the matter with that Warlock. I’ll never know. I was afraid they might camp her poor little body but apparently they were looking for more of a challenge and soon departed so she moved on to Uldum.

Crumbling Defenses had somewhat soured her on Deepholm. Completing this quest spanned hours. She had to wait for the cooldown to Summon Doomguard to have any hope at all of killing these things.

Time to revisit Kavem the Callous. At 84 she couldn’t down him, let’s see if she can prevail and open up Uldum as an 85. Yay! Down he went. She’s very happy, now she’s free to spend some time in Uldum, a nice change from dreary, rocky Deepholm.

Don’t know if she’ll make it to 90 but we’ll have fun trying. I do think 85 to 90 might take as long as 1 to 85 did. Sally, you should never have left Outland incomplete. It’s going to come back and bite you. Just saying. Sigh … that girl just does not listen.

Alts Saved My Life

What? Too melodramatic? Okay then alts saved my WoW life. I mean look, even the Voidlord refuses to do dailies on Thunder Isle anymore. And by the way I’m fine with all the dailies, I appreciate that they’re available if you want them. It’s up to me to have the good sense to STOP doing them at some point before I burn myself out. So I’m reading a post at Reputation Grind and I think, “We’ll yeah you big dummy, that’s what you like to do so why aren’t you doing it? You’ve strayed too far from your roots! You’re an altoholic, act like one!”

I have little desire right now to level my 85-86 level characters but I love leveling low levels and seeing the world again through their eyes. So what to do? Eureka! Zounds! I have a plan!

JD at Amateur Azerothian had given out wonderful panther gifts to LBR participants and I was one of them. I started a Monk on Runetotem, I was welcomed to Claws of Nature, I started leveling her and got to level 22 or so. I got distracted, JD quit WoW and then she was abandoned. I would feel guilty about her but wouldn’t login because I was sad JD wasn’t around.

I know, I’ll transfer her to Fenris where she’ll have rich big sisters to help her and heirlooms and she won’t be sad cause JD’s not going to login. TA DA! I’m happy again, of course it was a little sad to have to give someone the boot to make room, but in the stoic way of Orcs, Darknell took it rather well especially considering Liwu is Alliance.

I love professions and they are fun again. Instead of Cat logging in and learning another pattern for PvP gear she doesn’t want and won’t sell or learning a lovely iLevel 522 piece she can’t get the Haunting Spirits for out of habit, Liwu is GOING to be an Engineer, and it’s FUN. I promise you Liwu I won’t delete you as I have every other Engineer. See, it’s in writing. You’re safe. We had a fine time yesterday running around in The Wetlands and gained 6 levels. She’ll be riding that panther in no time.

Everyone was happy about this, Scribe resumed scribing as she might learn something Liwu needs. Miner went out to mine copper to kick-start Liwu’s mining and engineering. Even my bank alt was excited. She hangs on to so much stuff that no one can use. Finally someone to send bags to!

I don’t know why I was so stupid I forgot what I enjoy. Even Ironsally is on the move again. In the same time it took Liwu to gain six levels Ironsally gained two bars into 85. Yeah … this is harder than I remembered. Can’t keep Void alive, each mob is the equivalent of soloing a Thunder Isle rare … but harder. Add to that the constant fear of being killed because she’s on a PvP server. We’re having fun again! Easy Liwu, hard Ironsally, professions! Ah, life is good again. I even wrote a note for me on my about page so that if I get lost again I’ll remember what is was I liked about WoW. Whew, I’m glad that’s over.

Half of a Solitary Cat and Orange Face

Cat is truly a Feral Cat. She makes her solitary way through the world and she’s pretty happy that way. I’ve met people who only play in groups; a woman I met once said she’d have to “practice” playing alone because she wasn’t good at it. It seemed strange at first but I think she’s right, if you play one way exclusively you DO play differently. If you’re always alone you don’t have to worry about pulling aggro, you’ve already got it all. Cat used to get in trouble that way back a few expansions. Not a nice feeling when a boss turns around from the tank and says, “Hey you! Druid, com’ere!” Oops.

Cat loves to find a group for Galleon, I don’t know why she has it in for him. They are pretty hard to come by anymore but the other day a group was forming so she set out for The Valley of the Four Winds. On reaching Galleon they had assembled quite a large group, they were full. I noticed plaintive requests for an invite … repeatedly. I whispered the few people asking, telling them it was all good, just help during the fight, you’ll get a roll.

I got whispers back, “That won’t work, no heals.” I didn’t know what to say to that. It hadn’t even occurred to me. Really? They weren’t even going to try without heals?

THE REST OF THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO BORING. Boring. boring … snore …

I know what’s going on, every time I try to play the game as intended this happens. I don’t know why I do it, it makes me unhappy and then I hate the blog too. And then I delete everything. This time I left half of the post so you’d see I WAS making an effort but just … you know, who gives a shit.

So … orange face. I’ve become one. Years ago I worked with a very pretty young lady. Really, the first thing you’d notice was that she was exceptionally pretty. The second thing you’d notice was her orange face. Why? Why would such a pretty girl put so much makeup on that it would turn her face orange?

One day we were having lunch and she started talking about how self-conscience she was about her face. I didn’t know if I should acknowledge the  excessive use of makeup. She went on, she was talking about her acne scars. Acne scars? Huh. I’d never noticed. I’d only noticed the orange face. BACK TO THE FUTURE.

I have every skin condition there is, I am allergic to everything including the dogs. I have now been gifted with rosacea. It makes your face red and if you’re really lucky puts pits and stuff on your face and you’ll eventually look like this.

You know how when you look in a mirror you see who you think you are rather than what people see? And then sometimes when walking past a mirror or a window you’ll accidentally see yourself the way you are, I guess you take your brain by surprise and it can’t filter fast enough so anyway I saw my face.

I HAVE BECOME THE ORANGE FACE. In an effort to obscure the red I am now orange.

Well yeah … not that interesting but believe me it’s WAY more interesting than the rest of the post was. Trust me.

Yours Truly,

Orange Face

Conversations with Joan

Sasche’s pretty obsessive about repairing her gear. 99%? Time to repair. So first stop at the Shrine of Two Moons is usually Joan Tremblay. Now don’t get me wrong Joan’s a lovely woman but …

Joan, EVERY time I come here what’s with the, “Do not seek death.” Are you so wrapped up in your own misery you haven’t noticed something? I’m UNDEAD, it’s TOO LATE, thanks for the warning and all but that ship has sailed. I mean I’m standing right in front of you with straps holding my face together, you think it’s a fashion accent?

You really need to stop moaning about your condition and come to terms with it. It’s a done deal, let’s move past it. Alrighty? I hear they killed that sucker Arthas REPEATEDLY. They killed him, picked his pockets, hell they even took his horse. We’re Forsaken now and yes, it’s damned unfair Sylvanas comes out of the whole thing looking like a Vegas Showgirl and we … well life’s just not fair sometimes and you have to try to look on the bright side. Stop being so mopey … stop brooding.

We never have to worry about dieting again! See! There IS a bright side. We can Cannibalize … um yeah forget that … gross, bad example.

The next time I drop by could you just try something different? The weather, how about that? “Lovely day here in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms isn’t it?” That would be a good place to start, what do you say? Give it a try. Joan? Joan?

DO NOT SEEK DEATH.

Sigh.

Fear, Faffage and Self-esteem Issues

So I’m doing my morning circuit of pet tamers for leveling pets and this giant foot comes into view in the corner of my screen. A thrill of fear shot through me. I can now probably kill Fel Reaver in my underwear in caster form unarmed while simultaneously doing the dance of the seven veils. Doesn’t matter … I was terrified. Still. Redbeard posted about MMOs and the lack of spontaneity, and after thinking about it I’d have to say Fel Reaver is for me, about the only thing in-game that still comes close. I love you Fel Reaver, don’t ever change man.

Sasche hon, you have to stop doing this. Fly to the RED. RED! I KNOW she flew right in your doorway but she did apologize and try to leave for heavens sake. The level of savagery displayed by that cute furry Panda was shocking, simply shocking. It was an honest mistake. Cat and Sasche have such a hard time with the whole factions thing. She was pleased that she managed to retrieve her body without further bloodshed and get on with faffing.

It seems lately that’s all we do. Cat only wants to level her pets, Sasche hangs around Thunder Isle looking to make quick valor off rares rather than work for the Sunreavers and I’ve been lazy about commenting. I’m to the point that I feel guilty, but I continue to read posts in the morning on the iPad without even leaving a cheery wave.

Comments I make while on the iPad generally leave the impression that I’m an illiterate nit-wit. I’ll have you no know I might be a nit-wit but I’m not illaterate illiterate … much. I did tell Cat to get busy and find all the bookmarks she made of blogs to add to our blogroll. And then I need to ACTUALLY ADD them. Sigh …

Cat cares deeply about all her pets, their welfare is important to her. She’s been worried about her Infested Bear Cub, she thinks he has self-esteem issues. She tries to cheer him up but really, what can you say to him. You’ve got great … um …

Yeah, see? There is NOTHING redeeming about this poor bear. How do you cheer him up. Cat was thrilled to receive a Flawless Undead Battle-Stone and thought this is just what he needs! She held a little ceremony so he’d know how special he’d be and bonked him with that stone and done! You Sir Bear are a rare! If you were to return to Hillsbrad, all your friends would marvel at your special snowflakeness! You are a Rare, hold that head high!

I have to admit it was a good idea, he’s been prancing around practically giddy with glee. Now if only there were Flawless IRL Battle-Stones all would be right with the world.

A Reasoned Treatise on LFR … Not. Picture of Me, Might be Scary

Yeah … I’m not sure what this means, it’s happening a lot lately. I wrote this giant post on LFR based on my vast experience of doing it three times, about a week ago. Since then I’ve read A LOT of posts about LFR and mine added nothing so DELETE. In a nutshell I just used a lot of words to say I think Blizzard overestimated the ability of 25 strangers to cooperate or even communicate.

BUT. I had this photo of me in disguise since I was kind of ranting and I didn’t want to delete it. Yes, it’s me in a dog disguise. With nothing useful to write … not to imply that I EVER write anything useful but sometimes at the time of writing I think it is. Delusional … I know.

My husband wandered in the room when I was creating my disguise. He usually takes me in stride but this time he asked if my teachers sent notes home to my parents when I was in school. Saying I might have ISSUES perhaps. They really didn’t. I did draw all the time in class back when my hands worked better and I could actually draw. I drew horsies all the time back then. Almost exclusively, safe territory … no notes to parents. So there.

I did at least manage to work in “a lot” a lot of times so Matty will know that I know how to use it now. I’m not sure if in the past I typed alot or a lot but from now on I will ALWAYS remember to type A LOT.

So … yeah. Really nothing to see here folks. I’m just decorating my picture with some typing at the bottom cause that’s kind of what people expect to see when they read, operative word here, READ a post.

I think it’s enough typing now to be a post. I have many baby pets to raise, Ironsally wants to start leveling. Got to go. I’ll be back.

I Am a Freebird

Cat enjoys getting to know the locals; she did feel sorry for Xiao Niao the Nightingale though. Being a Druid she doesn’t have to wish she’s not fettered to earth, she can soar. And swim, and bite, and RAAAWWWWRR. She’s pretty lucky that way.

Sasche enjoys a break from fishing and the fishing was a break from dailies. My characters who are doing the Isle of Thunder dailies generally do them up to about Horgak the Enslaver then lose interest, run off to look for rares or go fishing for the elusive Tiny Carp. On leaving the Isle one day a guildmate asked if I wanted to do them. I said I was done and those demanding Sunreavers would have to get by without me. I was going fishing.

She replied that I was lucky. I was confused, I thought she meant because she was a healer and I said, “But you have a dps offspec don’t you?” She said that’s not what she meant, she HAD to do the dailies as she HAD to get 6000 valor for Wrathion and if she didn’t get them by the end of the week she’d HAVE TO wait another week and she couldn’t stand it.

Hmm … see for me HAVE TO is for real life. This is not luck, this is a choice. Is there sometimes envy involved when I see characters strutting around in gear I’ll never have? Sure, but I get over it. They did the HAVE TOs to get it so they paid the price I’m unwilling to pay. I do not do HAVE TOs. I sometimes do painful things in-game, but by choice. I choose to get the Insane title back when it cost me a veritable fortune in Pristine Black Diamonds and Darkmoon Decks but it was a good pain because I wanted to do it I didn’t HAVE TO do it.

I have gone in LFR three times. It was not as painful as some accounts I’ve read but it came close to sticking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick. Not quite but close. I did it for a chance, A CHANCE mind you that something would drop. Yeah, that’s enough. I do not have whatever inner strength it takes to do this. Wrathion, you can sit and spin if you think I’m going to ruin WoW for me to help you out. You can find your own Sigils of Whatchamacallit, you’re on your own.

I think you’ll get help from many people who are made of sterner stuff than I am. I hate RNG. I hate it. I cannot endure it. Pickpocketing elventy billion Junkboxes was nothing, NOTHING compared to the determination it would take to endure endless LFRs in the HOPE RNG will shine its lovely bright light on me.

So Cat will continue on her happy way, stopping at the Yak dealership to check out the inventory. Pet battling, fishing, whatever. I’m still here after seven years so whatever she’s doing it’s working. I’m not going to interfere. Sasche will continue on her … okay … unhappy way. She’s Forsaken, shooting for happiness is unrealistic. We’ll go for mildly not happy, that should work.

And speaking of painful things that I don’t have to do, I see Ironsally has procured herself a bank alt on her new server … whatever could that mean?

Is Nothing Sacred?

So Cat logs in and sets off to battle pets. She notices her calendar flashing, strange since she’s the only one in the guild. Has her handler totally lost it and started setting up events she has no memory of? NO! I feel so violated, it’s a crappy gold seller!!! Setting up events in my calendar! WTF!!!

Have you no decency AT ALL! Stay out of my calendar! Were you spying on me? Did you think because I just bought this great big Yak I bought gold? I DO NOT BUY GOLD STUPID GOLD SELLER.

I’ve been playing and saving since 2006 for this mount, I don’t need your stolen gold! Cat knew I was feeling down irl and she got it to cheer me up. BLIZZARD, HELP!

Okay … as you were. I’ll get back to trying to fish up Tiny Carp and pet battling. Has this happened to you? Geez, it was creepy.

The Carp is a Lie and … Stuff

Yeah, this is getting ridiculous. It’s even interfering with pet battling , I hope this Carp thing doesn’t advance to Minfernal level. I mean I don’t need them all right away … just one as kind of a sign that they really do exist. I’m not picky, any color will do. On the up-side I’m finally getting some rep with Nat Pagle.

I was playing SWTOR a little over the weekend. I was really proud, I’m level 20. I am such a fast leveler, you might say I EXCEL at leveling … already level 20, I am moving so fast, I am … what … oh. It seems they were having an event where experience was doubled for a period of time. Oh … OMG! I AM A CRAPPY LEVELER. GEEZ! Stupid little slow poke Jedi Consular.

Anyway, this might be just me, maybe I’m doing something wrong but where’s the faffing stuff. It’s all business. If I login I have to go do something, I mean something meaningful like kill a bunch of people or turn off a bunch of valves or something. As should be apparent I spend most of my time in WoW faffing. Archeology, pet battles, fishing, exploring. I can’t seem to remember what you do in SWTOR when you want to faff. It’s probably how we ended up buying a vehicle because I couldn’t find any faffing to do.

I wrote a whole post the other day and just trashed it today. I thought about it and if you have to whine on the internet about being unhappy in a GAME YOU PLAY FOR FUN then you need to get a grip and grow up. I got a grip but I doubt I’ll ever grow up. The only part that saddened me was that the post had I Hate Myself For Lovin’ You in it and any chance to watch Joan Jett should be taken.

Anyway again. There still is just this one thing. I won’t whine, it’s more of a conundrum … yeah … a conundrum, that’s what it is. I have come to hate the Isle of Thunder dailies. I pretty much go there and kill rares and then leave. On reflecting, I remembered coming to hate the Molten Front dailies a whole lot too. What confuses me is that I’m pretty sure I got multiple characters to exalted with the Shattered Sun on the Isle of Quel’Danas. I don’t feel like retching at the thought of Isle of Quel’Danas dailies like I do with the aforementioned daily sites. And back then there was no buying anything the first time through for increased rep for alts either.

I think I’ve figured it out. Molten Front and the Isle of Thunder are kind of dreary and full of things trying to kill you. Isle of Quel’Danas is beautiful, sunny, has a wonderful beach and is full of things trying to kill you. There it is. Apparently I’ll endure anything as long as it takes place on lovely beachfront property.

So there you go Blizzard. You need to make these daily zones more cheerful. Maybe I’m just a big scaredy-cat. It could be, I would just login to Diablo and look around and go, “Oh crap, this place is too scary for me.” and log out again. How about at least a hot dog stand along the road somewhere. Oh come on, I so see the Goblins doing that, what do you say?